Sleep advice

[thomar79]

hi,

Hoping to get some advice. Daughter is 11 months old, breast fed. Up until 10 months was co-sleeping in bed with wife and fed whenever she wanted it.
For naps she 2, 930am and sleeps 30min, and 130pm and sleeps maybe 45min.
She has reflux and is on strong medication, cot raised.
We use black out blinds and sleeping bag.
Have tried with/without white noise.
Night time sleep, falls asleep at 7pm no problem.

So at 10months because my wife was so exhausted and struggling, I took over as such. We tried to give the baby more other food to cut down the milk although this wasn't going perfect because she's being difficult to feed. However, it went really well and something like this

1st night - all night unsettled
2nd-3rd night less and less unsettled
4th onwards for 2 weeks or so, slept 7pm to 5am with small amounts of wake up, reducing and she was self settling
Naps during the day were improving slightly also.

Then suddenly, it's all gone really bad. Naps as above, so say 30min a time. Sleeps at 7pm easily but will wake a lot to midnight and must be settled. Last night for example, from 12-3am she was awake entirely screaming the whole time needing settling but even if comfort she isn't that happy. Was really bad from 3am to 7am.

I'm describing one night only but she's just got really angry about being in the cot, wants picking up, wanting to breast feed all the time etc.
There is nothing wrong with her - Take a nap time, she's 30min in, can't comfort at all and is completely fine if you then get her up and light on etc.
It sounds to me like for some reason the separation anxiety kicked in but my wife is exhausted and crying. We tried to use my wife to comfort her to see if we can get her back to how she was and then try to swap again but she's now just really difficult with her also. When she put her in the bed with her, she was still really upset for 2 hours etc.

We are not averse to comfort or cry it out etc but none are working. At the same time, my wife is exhausted and getting depressed about it so I don't really want to put things back to how they were.
I wonder if I can do a middle ground with the baby as other threads suggest for the mums, i.e. I put cot side down and attach to the bed etc.

Any advice appreciated,

Could baby cosleep all night either with you, your wife or in the middle of both of you?

hi, yes, we were just thinking she would sleep best if she was in a cot and not disturbed etc.

Shes telling you she doesn't like being in her cot. I was asking would she sleep in your bed, if you let her?

I'm co sleeping with DS2, 17 months. I still feed him sometimes in the night. He's had a good week this week and we've not had many wake ups but he has had phases where he's been up for longer periods in the night, it usually happens before a new tooth breaks through.
We just do whatever we need to get the most sleep. If I'm at work in the morning DP will take DS2 downstairs so I can sleep. Then he sleeps when I get back ( he works shifts). We take it in turns as much as possible so at least one of us is always rested.
In your situation I think we'd take it in turns to co sleep with her so the other was undisturbed.

Is she about to walk? I found with DD sleep routine when totally off track whenever a big developmental leap was "brewing". Things would then settle back down in the weeks that followed