22 month old sleep routine

[Butterpuff]

Our DD wakes around 7, naps for 1-1.5 hours after lunch we try to make that 12.30-2 if possible. Eats with us 6.30-7 then goes up to bed at 8. Routine is book downstairs then up for PJ's, teeth, cuddles then into cot. Both nap and bedtime she needs to have her pack rubbed to settle to sleep.btjis can take up to an hour. She has lullabies playing. If we leave the room before she's asleep bthen 9 times out of 10 she will stand and call out cry until we return. Then take ages to calm down bad she really winds herself up.vwe have baby 2 due in a couple of months and simply can't spend an hour leaning over the side rubbing her back. Any ideas of gentle ways to make the soothing time shorter and the self settling more common. Thanks.

Hi there

If you want to do this the gradual withdrawal way, it's not about sneaking out before she's asleep. It's about always (for now) staying until she is asleep, but reducing the amount of reassurance she needs.

For example tomorrow try rubbing her back until settled, then staying in the same lent-over position but stop running. As soon as any fuss is made, rub his back again and when settled remove hand but stay leaned into the cot.

Do that for a few days/weeks and you can start standing up when you remove your hand. Still stay right by the cot and always return to the back rub if needed, but get him used to it not being constant rubbing.

Then rub back to settle but step away from cot when settled. Go back if needed but then withdraw back when settled.

Keep going in this way until less and less reassurance is needed.

Overall routine sounds good - at that age they probably understand more than we give credit to, so make sure you explain what you are doing i.e. I'll stroke your back while I count to ten then I'm going to hang up the laundry, I'll come back and check on you in five minutes (if you are comfortable with controlled crying approach). Or I'll stroke your back while I count to ten then I'll sit here til you go to sleep if you'd rather do gradual retreat. Does she have a comfort blanket or soft toy to cuddle? I have found both to be great for self settling.

Thanks for the advice. Before a cold, Christmas and some teething problems we had three nights where a good night and maybe 5 minutes comforting was enough and we could leave her awake but happy to fall asleep. But that was a couple of months ago now. So I know it is possible. I'm not happy with cry it out so I suppose it's a gentle retreat over a long time. I like the idea of explaining what we are doing as we reduce the time spent rubbing her back. Thanks again.