2.5yr old screams the house down before bed every night please help!

[Mummy2thomasandbump]

Hi my 2.5yr old is becoming very difficult to put into bed at night so any advice would be helpful. He has a routine which starts early at 5ish every day.. will be dinner between 5 and 6 bath time then he will watch In the night garden on TV then the bed time story (on cebeebies) then we brush teeth and go to bed. (He will not sit for a story I keep trying also if he does for a few minutes it normally ends up with him ripping the book up.) Upto this point he is fine no tears it's only when I turn around to leave him all tucked up in bed and close the baby gate, He starts screaming and I really don't know what to do. I've had to put baby gate on his door because he just keeps coming out otherwise and for weeks I was persistent in putting him back it didn't work. Also he used to get out and climb into my bed in the night which I also don't agree with. He always was such a good sleeper but recently in the last 3 months he is even waking up at say 11pm before I go to bed and then just will not go back to sleep which then results in us both being knackered the next day. Am litterally at my wits end with it.. I've tried all sorts of different approaches. Being calm, and shouting and 9/10nothing works. I'm 22 weeks pregnant with baby no.2 and I'm actually dreading Thier arrival as I feel like I'm failing miserably at looking after the child I've got. I love him to bits but it's driving me insane. Someone please help.

I would cut out screens before bedtime. Ideally they really should not be watching TV before bed. Makes them hyper. Dinner, bath, PJs, if not a story then a hug and lights out. I will say it is a little unusual for a 2.5 year old to be ripping up books (but I had a placid kid so maybe I am wrong).
He is old enough to be spoken to. You can have a visual chart of what you are going to do and you tick it off. Then you can say that you will sit with him, do 10 pats (or 20 pats) and then you will sit a bit longer in a dark corner and then Mummy does bye bye. If he manages this then massive praise.
Also a simple chart where if he falls asleep independently for say 5 days he get a toy car or whatever.
When you have tackled this I would then move on to the night waking.

Try board books and shorter stories at first. But a bedtime story you actually read is a good habit to get into by 2yo.

I assume he's in a bed, with you mentioning him getting up? Was there any specific reason to move him out the cot? Many toddlers get a decent amount of security from the cot bars (and a solid, closed bedroom door).

To make it work at this age needs consistency and very firm boundaries. Have a short routine you do in putting him bed:
Put in bed
Tucked in
Kiss
Have a mantra you say: "sleep time now. We lie quietly in bed to sleep. Nan night"
Leave

Then be consistent. Every time he gets up, the moment he gets up go to him immediately, return to bed and repeat the above - tuck in, kiss, mantra, leave. Do it repeatedly, over and over again. Every time. Always the same. Middle of the night, bedtime, silly o'clock in the morning - go to him straight away, return to bed, say mantra, kiss, leave.

Is he very verbal?

I would change up your routine. No screens after dinner.
Bath poured at 6
In bath 6.10-6.30
Washing, out bath, brush teeth and hair takes ten mins.
Into bedroom, pyjamas, two stories. Lay down and shush.

If he won't do story books, can you play a story cd? And lie with him for a bit?

Does he nap? If he's up at 5, having dinner at 6pm then a bath and starting bedtime, he can't be getting more than 10 hours broken sleep a night. It sounds like he's painfully overtired by the time he gets to bed. I would suggest no screens after about 4.30 and in pjs starting the actual go to sleep part a good bit earlier than now.

Well we are currently awaiting speech therapy for him as he doesn't really talk and yes is very behind with his development... but this has never ever affected his sleeping until last few months. He isn't silly he knows when bed time is. And as for no screens I completely get that it can over stimulate etc but I work 3 evenings a week and do not know what my husband is doing with him.. seems everything I try he (my husband) undoes all the progress I make with my son. So im trying to find something we can both do and he will stick too. He has been in a Bed since about 1.5yr as he was climbing and falling out of his cot and actually hurting himself, otherwise he would have been in a cot until 2yrs. 9/10he doesn't nap in the day and if he does its around 11am for home longer than an hour.