Is it Ok to leave 4 month old to cry to sleep?

[Cinnamon84]

I've been struggling for ages to get my 4 month ds to nap in the day. (Have written loads of other posts about this)
At night he is rocked to sleep, put in bednest then after breastfeeding he lies down next to me. He sleeps from about 7.30 pm - 7.30am, feeds every 3-5 hours but goes straight back down. This is fine and there doesn't appear to be problems here.

In the day I've tried feeding him, going out in pram, bouncy chair, swaddling, white noise, sitting still, dummy... I just can't get him to nap so I normally resort to holding him and bouncing on yoga ball (normally figits and cries but eventually sleeps) and then lay him down on the bed til he wakes (normally after 45 mins) or I take him out in the sling (yesterday I walked for over 2.5 hours and he slept for 1).

Today he woke at 7.55 and between then and 3 I managed to get him to sleep twice and both times woke after 10 mins. A community nurse came over to try and help and while she was here he constantly tried to fight sleep. She instructed me to put him in his gro bag and leave him in his cot- his shouts and cries eventually turned into full blown screaming, bright red face and sounded like he was choking.

She said babies need to learn to self soothe, which I agree with and that I need to leave him to cry. This doesn't seem right to me but I don't know if I'm being too soft? I know I need to break the cycle of soothing him to sleep but I don't want him to feel like he's ignored when he cries.

I've just started feeding him and he has finally dropped off!

Ps good luck with the reflux meds- it's a killer.

Cows milk protein allergy can also cause reflux so something to discuss with GP maybe??

Gaviscon is rubbish for silent reflux and just gives you the constipation issue to deal with as well. Are you bf or ff? You could try asking for carobel if you are ff. Works to thicken the milk but doesn't make them constipated.

Hope you get on ok at the Drs.

A 4 month old is in no way able to self settle. If you leave your baby to cry it out now, you will ruin the precious attachment your baby is forming with you from birth until age 3. Babies only go quiet because they give up hope of anyone being there for them - surely that is not what you want. I am strongly against any form of sleep training whatsoever, even more so a 4 month old! They learn to self settle in their own time, you cannot force them, you can only force them to give up hope, which is not nice.

Hey, mine is 4 months too, and sleeps through the night aswell. I was wondering the same thing, I think personally its okay to let your baby cry but try not to start randomly, maybe say baby's crying for no reason during the day just let them cry fire 2 mins then go speak to them and pick them up. That way they cry less when your away coz they'll know your coming back that way when you put them down for a nap they cry less for shorter time. I'm trying this and my baby seems to now just cry for a couple mins and then get bored. Fingers crossed for nap time tho haven't tried it yet! Also ignore mfs saying it's never okay blah blah it's whatever your comfortable with :)

Also just FYI me and my baby still have a great connection and he smiles when he sees me so, every baby is different so go with your gut 😉