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Original poster

***Co-Sleepers sign in here!!***

55 replies

4aFriend · 12/02/2007 17:36

A friend of mine co-sleeps with her 1yo DD most nights. Her HV gave her a hard time about it and told her that she should be sleeping in her own bed and to use controlled crying (sound familiar? does for me!!)

As far as I know she isn't a MNer but I thought I would just show her that there are a lot of co-sleepers out there and not to feel badly about it! (and maybe bring her over to the MN side! mwah ha ha ha!!! [evil emoticon])

I'm going to let this go for a little while then link it to her. SO if you have anything negative to add - DON'T! Start your own thread. This is a warm and fuzzy thread only!! I know i can count on you all to help her feel better!

TIA!!!

xxxx

OP posts:
beansprout · 12/02/2007 17:37

I don't co-sleep but really wish that we did. The reasons why are not for this thread but I hope your friend gets lots of support!

bogie · 12/02/2007 17:41

We do we upsized to a 6'6 bed ds starts in his own bed untill about 1 when he wakes up and won't go back unless he is in our bed hes 13 months. We can't do controlled crying because he doesn't cry he puts his fingers in his mouth and makes himself sick. And i wouldn't really want to let him scream himself to sleep.

PinkTulips · 12/02/2007 17:41

yep, my babies start of the night in the cot and come in during the night and it's lovely, did it with dd til ds was born and she decided after a week of 4 in the bed every morning she prefered her own cot lol. ds is 6 months and not going anywhere soon

love it so much, when the nurses in the hospital told me to do it i was terrified as i thought i'd roll on her but a couple of nights later after no sleep at all i attepmted it and have never looked back, suffice to say ds was born at 11.50pm and spent all night in bed with me and has ever since

fryalot · 12/02/2007 17:44

There were four in the bed.... My dp, dd2, ds and me generally all end up in bed together - sometimes we start off there, sometimes the los start in their own bed. The only problems are: as the babies grow, the bed is getting to be too small and on the rare occasions dp and I are alone there together, we don't know what to do! lol. (incidentally, you can tell your friend that when I was in hospital with dd1 and couldn't settle her, the mws tucked her up in bed with me and there she stayed)

purplemonkeydishwasher · 12/02/2007 18:31

My DS is in bed with us and has been since he was born. He's 16.5 months now. I love having him in with us.

Hooray for nurses and midwives suggesting it, i think that's a rarity!

beansprout · 12/02/2007 18:32

Ds was put in bed with me in hospital too!

Psychobabble · 12/02/2007 18:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

abidabidoo · 12/02/2007 18:38

We do - started by default because she was a nocturnal bf'ing baby, she wouldn't sleep in the moses basket, and I'm way too lazy to do the getting up in the night thing, so didn't even try her in the cot (I knew what the answer would be anyway!).
And then I read Baby Bliss (I think?) and it just made so much sense for our baby that wouldn't sleep unless moving or with us.
I'm so glad we did, despite the frequent bfs, its just so easy to latch her on and just drift back to sleep, I get loads more sleep than my friends. And she's a very secure baby.
I really think if you're breastfeeding and have got a baby that needs/wants frequent feeds it's in your own interest!
And if you're not bf'ing it's another way of being close.

abidabidoo · 12/02/2007 18:39

Forgot to say - it was a midwife who started it when I was still in hospital.

DimpledThighs · 12/02/2007 18:40

co-slept with both of mine. Would not have done ie any other way.

Both moved into their own beds no problem and I loved the closeness and cuddles - esp. on the days I worked and hadn't seen them much that day.

funnypeculiar · 12/02/2007 19:01

We are doind this with dd (now 10 mths) - she settles well (usually!) in her own cot, then wakes any time between 1-4am and comes in with us. Puts her arms round my neck and goes to sleep. Bliss for both of us . We both sleep so much better, and I love my middle-of-the-night cuddles. I'm so glad I trusted my instinct with this one. She is an unusually happy & well-attached little thing - there's lots of good research (sure someone will link!) that says that statistically, co-sleepers are well-adjusted individuals (obviously, not nec becuase of the co-sleeping per se, prob more inidicative of the type of parent who is prepared to co-sleep. (Will try and find that and link for you/her later...)

I didn't with ds (partly becuase he was my first and I was nervous, partly becuase he was more of a co-screamer than a co-sleeper...). Incidentally, we did everything 'right' in h/v type terms with him (hardly ever got him out of his cot/didn't bring him in with us,tried crying him down etc etc) and he STILL didn't sleep through til 18mths ...and still frequently doesn't(just 3). Crying down is not (imho) the panacea to all sleep-ills that it is made out to be

lockets · 12/02/2007 19:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LaidbackinEngland · 12/02/2007 19:23

Co-slept with DS1 (age 10) until he was about 4. Currently Co-sleeping with DS2 (age 2 1/2) and expecting no 3 in 4 weeks.

Both boys slept through from very early on and helped themsleves when they wanted to breastfeed. Both very well attached. DS1 settled in his own bed quickly when he was ready.

We have a big, low down bed and can all fit in at a push. It's fab

Means that you have to be a bit more creative around the times/places you have sex - but hey - that's no bad thing

brandy7 · 12/02/2007 19:25

i coslept with ds now 12 till he was 4, then he decided to go to his bedroom on his own.

currently co-sleep with ds aged 2.3 years and probably will till he decides to get in his own bed, which is at the bottom of my bed

Hulababy · 12/02/2007 19:25

I coslept with DD, albeit with the aid of a bedside cot (got at 2 weeks), until she was 16 months and then on and off till she was 4yo - even now (nearly 5) she come siin with us every so often, especially if poorly.

mumtogusnalbie · 12/02/2007 19:40

Hello everyong - I co-sleep with my DS1 & DS2 who are 4.7 and 2.10. I co-slept with both of them from birth. They both have their own beds and they start off there but are always in my bed in the morning. I have a superking size bed (specifically bought when DS2 was born because didn't want to make DS1 stay in his own bed). The boys don't wake me when they come in and so I get an excellent nights sleep every night. I have to say that I am a single parent so don't have to worry about the "relationship" side of things!!
Dread the time when they decide they are too old to sleep with me. On the odd occasion that one of them has stayed in their own bed all night, I wake with a start and have to go and check they are ok!!!
Co-sleeping rules!!!!!

BernieBear · 12/02/2007 19:41

I co-slept/sleep, initially because I needed sleep and ds was breastfed and now (he is 2.10) because he creeps across landing with armfuls of toys, throws them onto bed, climbs in and falls asleep. He goes to sleep in own bed now though and does, occasionly sleep all night in there (oh and I miss him when he does) but I get to get up at 7-7.30 when he co-sleeps and 5.30-6.00 when he doesn't. Guess which one I prefer

Nothing wrong with it whatsoever, although ask me that prior to having ds and my answer would have probably been different!

suejonez · 12/02/2007 19:43

aren't you wrorried about them falling out of bed? I co-slept with my DS in KAzakhstan for 3 months but had to put the mattress on the floor in the end as I was so edgy about it.

mumtogusnalbie · 12/02/2007 19:54

my bed is quite high and my DS2 has fallen out of it on a couple of occasions but because he is so relaxed when asleep he does not hurt himself and actually hardly even wakes up!!

tibsy · 12/02/2007 19:55

like many of the mums on here, my dd (5 1/2 months) starts off in her cot, then generally ends up in our bed when she wakes. i love it too!!!
did exactly the same with our ds and that was 12 years ago. he's no longer co sleeping, tho has been known to jump in to our bed with dd on the weekend, kicking us out

TrinityRhino · 12/02/2007 19:57

do we have to be completely happy with our co sleeping situation to come in here?

Indith · 12/02/2007 20:16

ds is just a month old and I love it! In his crib in our room we just all disturb each other, in our bed he only wakes for feeds. Have been putting him down in his own room recently and I think I now have the best of both, snuggle with dp at first and at some point in the night when ds won't settle after a feed I take him to bed and curl up around a little baby.

Has anyone seen the sleep studies done by Durham uni? Very interesting that bf mums sleep in a certain way protecting their baby but ff mums tend to move much more and turn backs on baby. Not trying to start a battle I just thought it was interesting.

tibsy · 12/02/2007 20:30

havent come across that indith but bfing support worker informs me that bf babies are lighter sleepers than ff babies. wonder if thats because more co sleeping babies are bf. is that the case?...

mumtogusnalbie · 12/02/2007 20:32

Indith - that may be true because I ff my boys after 6 weeks of bf and I now sleep with my back to them. DS1 likes to curl up around me though and often drapes a leg over me too!!

mamijacacalys · 12/02/2007 20:35

Another positive story...

Co-slept with DS until he was about 3 and moved into his own bed in our new extension.

Am currently co-sleeping with DD (7 months).