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Original poster

***Co-Sleepers sign in here!!***

55 replies

4aFriend · 12/02/2007 17:36

A friend of mine co-sleeps with her 1yo DD most nights. Her HV gave her a hard time about it and told her that she should be sleeping in her own bed and to use controlled crying (sound familiar? does for me!!)

As far as I know she isn't a MNer but I thought I would just show her that there are a lot of co-sleepers out there and not to feel badly about it! (and maybe bring her over to the MN side! mwah ha ha ha!!! [evil emoticon])

I'm going to let this go for a little while then link it to her. SO if you have anything negative to add - DON'T! Start your own thread. This is a warm and fuzzy thread only!! I know i can count on you all to help her feel better!

TIA!!!

xxxx

OP posts:
Indith · 12/02/2007 20:37

oh dear getting all geeky and excited that you fit into the research mumto!

tibsy I imagine so....

Anyway back to fuzzyness. Warm cuddly baby......

NineUnlikelyTales · 12/02/2007 21:57

We co-sleep with our DS (5 months) too - and we love it! When DS was in the crib next to our bed he just grunted all night and woke up every half hour. I love sleeping next to his cuddly little body and he loves it too. I'm not so keen on getting the occasional wet - or worse!- nightie, though..

Some HVs should just mind their own flaming business.

bartuki · 12/02/2007 21:58

ds is 15 months and has been co-sleeping since he was born - it felt like the most natural thing to do and that's where he was the happiest. He has been a very happy and contented baby. We have a sideless cot against the bed which gives a bit more wriggle room and he has his own blanket so as not to get caught up in the duvet. Both dh and I love it this way, it's so gorgeous to wake up to his yawny smiley face every morning (but quite a lot in the night too as he still bfeeds but being able to stay horizontal makes it all the more bearable).

archiesmummy · 12/02/2007 21:58

I only started co-sleeping with DS when he was 10 months or so, but he stopped waking up so much in the night and we both got more and better sleep I think.

Also, it is lovely cuddling upto my little boy.
The only downside is we only have a queen size bed so DH doesn't fit as well..

And yes Indith, I am familiar with the research and it seems to be that position you automatically take... Very protective!

Posey · 12/02/2007 22:02

Co-slept for a long time, but ds is now 4 and spends most of most nights in his own bed. But he still wanders in and sleeps with us from time to time. Really wished I'd done it with dd. Probably wouldn't have felt quite so cr*p if I had as I would've got more sleep.

Haven't read the whole thread, so this may have been said, but get her to read 3 in a Bed by Deborah Jackson. Fantastic book.

funnypeculiar · 12/02/2007 22:47

this is the lovely Dr Sear's peice on co-sleeping - his 'observations' on his & his wife and his lo's sleeping habits made me cry ... but then I am a bit pathetic!

ludaloo · 12/02/2007 22:55

We do

I have done it with all 3 of mine. DD1 is now 5 and is very happy slleping in her own room and own bed now, DS is 3 and he also sleeps happily on his own now. DD2 is 18 months and still sleeps with us...soon to be moved in with her big sisters room, in her own bed.
Around 18 months - 2 years they seemed happy and content, and had no problems sleeping on their own. Up until then, the cot was right up against our bed with one side down...so an extention really...it gave them enough space of their own, and enough comfort for us all to sleep well

ludaloo · 12/02/2007 22:58

Oh...and I still get the older two climbing in at various stages throughout the night, dh usually has to either sleep on the very edge, or relocate

lori21 · 13/02/2007 10:45

I spoke to my HV because me lo was not sleeping (still isn't) and she suggested co-sleeping as a solution. . It is like all things in life everyone has a different opinion including health professionals. I love co-sleeping although as my lo is not a good sleeper, even in our bed, I sleep with him on a mattress on his bedroom floor. THe book 'no cry sleep solution' has some great tips for making co-sleeping safe and for how to go to baby sleeping in their own bed if that is what you want. Oh yeah the midwives in hospital suggested co-sleeping as well nd I was given a booklet on how to co-sleep safely from the midwife when I got home so lots of positive vibes in my area.

TLV · 13/02/2007 16:41

dh and I say that we are not co sleepers but i have admit we are (dd goes to bed in her own cot but usually wakes same time every night and comes in with us) we want to move into our own room soon but not sure how to handle the transition so any advice most welcome dd is almost 20mths and we have found ourselve craving adult time in an adult bedroom and it would also be nice to lay in bed and read the with bedside lamp on which we can't do as dd is in our room still

TLV · 13/02/2007 16:47

should add tho it is lovely having her in the bed with us as she cuddles into us while she sleeps and is always really happy in the morning, and in some respects i'm dreading not having her in our room

ScoobyC · 13/02/2007 20:33

Hi I've just discovered mumsnet and was looking for stuff on co-sleeping so excited to see this thread!

We fell into co-sleeping with ds (8mo) because he had colic for the first 3 months and wouldn't sleep anywhere other than in my arms. I was really nervous about it to start with but once we got the cover situation sorted (ditched the duvet and got blankets and sheet) and got used to it, we all love it!! It's hard to imagine there's anything nicer than sleeping cuddled up to a snuggly little baby and dh and I both get more sleep.

He is my first so I have nothing to compare him to, but he is incredibly secure and confident and although he has been at nursery 3 mornings a week since 5mo he has never once suffered separation anxiety and is noticeably more confident and happy than most other babies there. I think co-sleeping has a lot to do with it because he always knows I am right there and he has never had to cry to get my attention.

To me co-sleeping feels so natural and right and the thought of him being on his own in a different room without me being within touching distance just feels so wrong. I'm an adult and I don't like sleeping alone, I would hate the thought of him having to as a little baby.

Sorry, I'm going on!! I'm just excited that there are other people doing this - most people I know think it is weird!!

Oh just one more thing, ds is ff cos bf just didn't work out for us and I never turn my back on him!!

Hope it's ok to post as a new person.

XX

ghostofjuliet · 13/02/2007 20:41

my kids are 4 (tomorrow) and 5. we let them co-sleep and didn't touch controlled crying. it just felt wrong to me to tell a baby that i'm not always going to be there...anyway...they do still occasionally come into our room but only if they have a nightmare or don't feel well. infact dd2 doesn't like being in our room anymore, we end up in with her.

Hattie05 · 13/02/2007 20:48

I'm another accidental co-sleeper! Pure laziness meant if my dd wanted night feeds she had to come and get them . From the age of three she started to prefer her own bed, and now four she very occasionally gets in our bed in the early hours, but quite quickly gets out and back into her own bed ( i think she gets too hot with us )

dd2 is 3mths and currently sleeping all night in her cot, but you never know.....

dressedupnowheretogo · 13/02/2007 20:53

i started by accident as i fall back to sleep we im night feeding and dont realise unless hubby elbows she stays in our bed all night i love it but the hubby is scared of it coz everyone says your not suppossed to he's sure he'll squash her

Monkeytrousers · 13/02/2007 20:54

Been co sleeping a lot lately and DS has gotten used to it. He goes in his own bed at first but then comes into mine later. DP is in the spare room for other reasons.

Monkeytrousers · 13/02/2007 20:55

He is 2.5 BTW

tibsy · 13/02/2007 21:51

4aFriend, have already posted on here, but just wanted to say, what a lovely thread have really enjoyed reading the posts myself. it's nice to know that there are other like minded parents who agree that co sleeping is a lovely thing to be able to do for our dc (and for ourselves)

AdelaideS · 13/02/2007 21:58

Don't quite know how I ended up co-sleeping with ds2 (7m), I never intended to but now those hours with my littlest one are precious to me.
I vividly remember waking one morning and seeing his tiny face right next to mine, he was just looking at me and blinking slowly.

ghostofjuliet · 13/02/2007 22:01

i agree that this is feel good thread. i usually feel i have to justify myself.

although i love waking up in the morning having slept right through, i really feel disappointed when i wake up and there's no-one giving me a big hug.

Original poster
4aFriend · 14/02/2007 08:35

I KNEW I could count on MNers to help out wiht a warm and fuzzy thread!!!!
YOU RULE!!!

Such WONDERFUL stories here!

Oh and big WELCOME to ScoobyC!!! I'm glad that this has been a good thread for you too!
Like most of you I always felt that I needed to justify my sleeping situation. But never again. From now on I can proudly say that we CO-SLEEP
BED-SHARE
SLEEP-SHARE
WHATEVER you want to call it!

OP posts:
mylittlestar · 14/02/2007 09:30

So pleased to see this thread as i too feel like I sometimes have to justify co-sleeping with ds (17 months).

Not quite sure how it happened, ds had a couple of illnesses and my lazyness I think!

But I work full time and miss ds like crazy and I just love having him right there next to me when I wake up. Sometimes he'll wake in the night and lean over and give me a massive kiss completely out of the blue - I love moments like that.

I'm not worried as I'm sure when the right time comes for him to be in his own bed we'll all know.

I just trust my instincts on this one and it works great for us

I do agree with the 'being more creative' when it comes to finding time for sex but then after a long relationship that's not such a bad thing - and it's a good excuse to find other places around the house

If it helps anyone - we have bought a larger bed and also a 'side guard' for the bed that we got off ebay - then if dh and I want to cuddle we can put him at the side of us without worrying that he'll fall out.

Cloudhopper · 14/02/2007 09:39

We co-slept with both the children till they were about 1, and after that if they needed more reassurance.

There was nothing so cute as being woken up in the middle of the night by a little hand touching your face and babbling.

Very fond memories of it, highly recommended.

gingerninja · 14/02/2007 19:49

This thread warms the cockles. I co-sleep ocasionally. DH isn't keen as he thinks he'll squash DD so sleeps in the spare room which isn't an ideal scenario so it doesn't happen often. I'm interested to know if you guys settle Lo's in their own cots first and join you at some point in the night or do they just go to bed when you do?

I'd really like to do it more often because I LOVE waking up snuggled next to my lovely baby and she sleeps better too but I don't want to do something that in a few months time I'll decide isn't working and then struggle to get her into her cot. Also, not sure what to do with DH. Leave him to the spare room?

BikeBug · 15/02/2007 10:29

Just signing in as another co-sleeper. DS starts off in his cot then I take him to the spare bed (double futon) when he wakes if it is after midnight. I sleep better, he sleeps better... He's 11 months now and won't fit in with me and DH in our standard double bed, but DH and I can start the night together and DS and I finish it. I get all the cuddles round here!