Controlled crying...what was the longest your LO screamed the place down?

[Tinks15]

1.5 here...she just dont give up!

I actually find it quite upsetting that I can say I was suicidal from lack of sleep and my DS was miserable and people still have their judgy pants on

Unicorn don't worry about it. People judge all the time. It is a MN super myth that all these perfect people walk around all the time never judging people. What you need to do is be confident in your own judgements and don't give a flying feck about other people's judgements.

Im certainly chilling and reaping the rewards as all my children have slept 11 hours at night since I did controlled crying thank you !

Well my babies asleep after 35 minutes of crying and me checking every five.
I'll enjoy my evening now instead of rocking a baby for hours on end .
Thanks

And she doesn't look damaged does she ?

She's a cutie for sure

What use is a happy baby if the parents are too exhausted to do anything with them.

'Your baby will sleep eventually, chill and be nice, it'll reap the rewards.'

But I've known 'babies' take 5 years or more to properly sleep at night. That's five years of sleep deprivation for child and parent - making it pretty hard for anyone to properly 'chill'!

I do think an awful lot depends on the child. Some babies it is true settle themselves into sleeping well at night pretty much of their own accord. But for some there really isn't a great deal else to be done beyond letting them cry in some shape and form, somewhere along the line.

Though I don't dispute 'be nice' - I'm all for that!

Abuse ?
Hahaha hahahaha
Grow up

You expect it as new borns hi don't however eclectic babies of 8/9 months plus and up to pre school age children to be up and down crying all night. Nutritionally they don't need to feed and quite frankly when the body repairs itself in its sleep it's vital for all concerned to get some.

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup Similarly, however many people say CC did not damage their children, but they learnt to self settle and are happier, you clearly won't believe them.

Oh and op, ds2 was nearly 2 hours the first night. 20 mins the second. In the third I put him down, he smiled at me, turned over and went to sleep.

Intentionally letting a tiny child cry is bloody weird. I don't get this 60s/70s method of 'training'. If you want to train something, get a dog. I mean, obviously it's not neglect but just.... why? It's fucking knackering having a wee kids whatever you do. I'd rather do it without unnecessary distress. A bit of mild whinging is fine but not proper crying.

And I don't think it's going to cause damage, especially within the context of a loving home, but it's completely incongruous with everything else we do with our babies. It's also not evidence based. It's based on nothing beyond opinion and the belief that kids must be shaped, rather than helped to develop normally. Sleep deprivation is awful, but tough.

waitrose

Sorry which part of my post did you miss? I spent 2 months trying to feed, cuddle, bed share, rock etc etc. He got hysterical. Utterly hysterical. He was less hysterical during the controlled crying than he was when I was trying to comfort him to sleep.

Your assertion it is abuse is completely disgusting. I work with victims of child abuse. Believe me when I say cc is categorically not abuse.

HeCant

My DS hates bed sharing.

The amount of self justification by those who do controlled crying is hilarious. If it's not a problem, why justify it to strangers on the Internet?

smart

So in your opinion it would have caused me and DS less distress to scream every night at bedtime, wake every 30 mins for 2 hours and be chronically sleep deprived? To have me unable to think or speak of function from lack of sleep?

Those things are preferable to one evening of crying? Yes?

I actually think the lack of compassion on this thread is staggering.

I've said I was sucidal. I have no family or other help. If I didn't do something I would not have been able to look after my baby.

If I had said this about breastfeeding and turning to formula and received the same responses that would be completely unacceptable.

I'm actually in tears.

Talk about projection....

Unicorn, just dont read it... it always gets this response on here. In real life no one has ever criticised me to my face.

2 hours... she's slept through the night for 2.7 years since.

I hear you unicorn. I was determined to be a crunchy earth mother. I breastfed, used slings, cloth nappies, cuddled to sleep. Tried co-sleeping but none of us were getting any sleep. My 2nd and 3rd kids were terrible, terrible sleepers. They brought me to my knees. It's the only time me and dh have argued and I have felt like I was teetering on the edge of depression. I was miserable and exhausted and had no patience with my older children. Meanwhile the baby was exhausted and miserable too.

Something had to give. I tried every gentle method known to man, consistently. None worked. By just over a year I was desperate and did cc. I don't regret it, I don't feel I had a choice actually.

unicorn

I don't think there is anything wrong With how you did things.

I honestly can't see how half the situations we read about on MN are somehow better...

Pissing on teddies

Lying across the mums head

Kicking husbands/wives out of their beds fir years

Effectively imposing seven of clock bedtimes on full grown adults

No way....

Unicorncatsack Ignore. People are weird about sleep. It's like some people think mothers don't deserve it anymore, even though it is essential for wellbeing.

Aw, bless, seriously in no time your kids will be at school and you won't give a shit.

all this 'exhausted' rubbish
Waitrose. you sound like a real judgemental snot.

Unicorn. I totally get you and know exactly what you are going through. I'm sorry you had to go through such a bad experience with the sleep deprivation. It can take you over the edge.
Don't let these self righteous smart ass mums get to you.
You do what is best for your child and you.