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Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

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Original poster

Where do I start, sleep training, need help??

28 replies

SLKsMum · 08/09/2016 14:09

Help appreciated please. I have a seven month old son who is used to being held/cuddled to sleep then placed into his sleepyhead in his crib. He went into his own room and big cot bed last night but is still in his sleepyhead (which he's about to outgrow and husband refuses to let me buy the bigger one)! He has a dummy and is breastfed (wakes 3-4 times a night for a feed still)! I did gradual retreat with my daughter when she was 10 months old and it worked like a dream (we took the dummy away when she was 9 months). So I'd like to do gradual retreat with my son too but I don't know whether to take the dummy away and the sleepyhead away first? Both at the same time or one after the other? Which one first? I really want to start sleep training next Tuesday/weds as daughter will be in nursery and husband will be off work for a bit to help out too. I start back at work in a few weeks too and can't carry on this tired. Any advice will be greatly received... TIA XXX

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DappledThings · 08/09/2016 16:39

No real advice but I could have written your post about my DS. We start sleep training on Friday and we are taking away dummy but keeping the Sleepyhead for now. Good luck to us both!

Original poster

SLKsMum · 08/09/2016 18:07

Thanks DappledThings, nice to know we're in the same boat! Let me know how you get on. I'll keep you posted too xx

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MYA2016 · 08/09/2016 22:17

When we moved ds out of the sleepyhead / crib combo I'm not going to lie we had a nightmare first few days in his cot.
I couldn't even get him to stay asleep longer than 10 seconds without him flapping his arms and having a meltdown . I got dh to put the sleepyhead in the loft so we didn't give in and we started putting him down on his tummy and quite quickly he started sleeping through the night finally.
Ds would never take a dummy so have no advice on that bit.
As for the night wakings I hope the sleep training works. We gradually moved to formula at 6.5 months and I would also send dh in during the night and it's really helped us. He's now nearly 8 months and like a different baby. I'd recommend that if your baby isn't hungry try sending your partner in for at least a couple of the wakings.
Good luck :)

FabFiveFreddie · 08/09/2016 22:21

Marking my place as I have a similar aged DS who I want to start sleep training as his older DD is now on a regular school schedule. He wakes once or twice for a feed, once or twice as his dummy has fallen out/wants to get into bed with me. Need to crack this in the head.

MYA2016 · 08/09/2016 22:32

Also try white noise. We really underestimated the power of this! Ds was waking up on average 8x a night for 4 months. Putting him in his own room with white noise in the background (just an app on a tablet in the corner of the nursery set to 'car noise') was a game changer

Rozdeek · 08/09/2016 22:33

We're doing controlled crying with my DS after 2 months of horrendous sleep. It's working really well.

Original poster

SLKsMum · 08/09/2016 23:20

Thanks so much for the help everyone. I decided to just try putting him down in his cot bed without the sleepyhead tonight. No chance! He was flapping about like a flappy thing!!! Put it straight back in as I wasn't planning on starting tonight (just wanted to dip my toe in the water) but I'm not looking forward to doing it for real now! Do you use white noise all night? I have a little soundbox but I set it to 45 mins before I leave the room. I could have it running all night but it'll go through batteries like nobodies business! I wish he'd take a bottle of formula too. I keep trying different brands but having no luck at all. Would make me feel much better about going back to work knowing he'd take at least some milk. X

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dinodiva · 09/09/2016 06:29

Could you put rolled up towels under the sheet to replicate a sleepyhead, and then decrease the size or move them slightly apart over a period of time to wean him off it?
My DD didn't take a bottle until around 7-8 months when weaning was well established and she got used to other things in her mouth. MAM bottles seem to work best for her.
In terms of sleep training, gradual retreat worked really well for us. I did it at 7 months and recently revisited it at 11 months - we found it didn't stick due to developmental changes, teething and weaning from BF to bottle. Good luck!

MYA2016 · 09/09/2016 10:30

We tried the rolled up towels but it didn't work for us but sleeping on his tummy did (I'd never have done this before he could roll over though).
With white noise we leave it on all night - because it's on the tablet we just leave it on charge.
My friends 7.5 mo has only just started accepting formula so keep trying :-)

Original poster

SLKsMum · 09/09/2016 12:32

Thank you so much for all the pointers. I know I've done this before but I feel so lost this time round. As I did all the sleep training with our daughter, I think my husband is just expecting me to be able to fix things overnight. The sleepyhead really needs to go as he gets quite warm in there especially with the humid nights we've been having. So far today he's napped for a total of 10 mins on his own. He'll sleep all blooming day if I cuddle him though. My poor daughters feeling neglected and I've still not managed to get the food shopping unpacked!!! I need him to self settle just so I can get a bit of my life back. I've loved cuddling him to sleep but I think it's time I regained some normality and actually looked after everyone else in the family (including myself)! Just hope we make decent progress! Thanks again for helping and listening. You ladies rock xxx

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Rozdeek · 09/09/2016 12:35

Can you really not upgrade to the bigger sleepyhead? We got ours on eBay for £40

Icklepickle101 · 09/09/2016 12:36

Just putting DS down for a nap but will reply soon!

Icklepickle101 · 09/09/2016 12:55

My DS is 7.5 months and I could have written your post!! We never had sleepyhead but used rolled up towels under the sheet and I want the dummy gone by 1!

We had been cuddling to sleep with dummy until about 2 weeks ago and then tried to do PUPD but it was hell and took over 2 hours with lots of tears so we have started gradual retreat. We started Monday with sitting in a chair very still and just holding him, no rocking no white noise etc and then putting him in his cot when he was asleep (cold turkey on the diy sleepyhead!) that worked so well we moved on to next step last night and I sat in his cot cross legged and cradled his head in my hands in my lap but had him lay on his cot and again that worked well as he still felt me there! In a few days I'll let go of his head but sit in there still, then sit next to the cot and then a bit further away every few days!

We've gone cold turkey on dummy for day time naps but I'm too scared to upset the calm at bedtime so we will tackle that later!

Good luck

Original poster

SLKsMum · 09/09/2016 14:50

I have looked on eBay and there are some for around £70 but think husband is more reluctant to keep using something that will eventually need to go anyway. I can see his point but have a nagging feeling our boy will be stubborn about this!

Well done icklepickle, sounds like you've made a good start! Please keep us updated on your progress. Fingers crossed for you xx

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MYA2016 · 09/09/2016 15:01

OP it's entirely your choice but my main reasoning for not getting the bigger sleepyhead was because I didn't want have to lug it around every time we went anywhere till he was 3 or so years old.
As I'm going back to work soon he'll be going to childminder / family etc and I needed him to be able to be put in a travel cot without the sleepyhead as it's much bigger :-)

Original poster

SLKsMum · 09/09/2016 19:35

Mya, that's a very good point. We go away to visit family quite often and I imagine holidays would be difficult as it would take up a whole suitcase !
Decided to give the dummy the heave ho tonight (partly as I've forgotten to bring one upstairs)!!! Fingers crossed we can start to get him off these crutches and get him self settling soon xxx

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MYA2016 · 09/09/2016 20:54

Good luck! Let us know how it goes :-)

DappledThings · 09/09/2016 21:25

OK, started the "spaced soothing" at 6.50. After 20 mins we were up to intervention every 3 mins and he went to sleep for 30 minutes. Woke again, started again and after 40 mins of more spaced setting he went put again. Been asleep 70 minutes now with no dummy and no rocking

DH did it all, I was on timer duty. On tenterhooks now but feeling good!

Original poster

SLKsMum · 09/09/2016 23:11

Well done DappledThings, sounds like you're off to a good start.

So far so good here without the dummy. He took a fair bit longer to settle but managed 3 hours of sleep. Just woken for a feed now and fallen straight back to sleep. Fingers crossed I can get him back in his cot without waking him. Feeling positive though (and have binned all his dummies)!!! X

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DappledThings · 10/09/2016 07:53

Ok, we had wakings at 1.15 and 4.50. Both were dealt with by some more spaced soothing. He was hardly really crying mostly, just grumbling. 2nd one took longer to settle, the 1am took only one going into his room. Got him up at 7.

Boobs were pretty full and sore after going from 2-3 feeds a night to none!

Original poster

SLKsMum · 10/09/2016 12:09

Good work DappledThings, that sounds like pretty successful night. Hope your boobs are better after some morning feeds!

I had to go in to ds 5 times last night. Only settled after a feed each time (not sure that's a good idea but can't be waking the whole house up 5 times a night). Twice he fell straight back to sleep and the other times I needed to rock him. But he went back into his sleepyhead each time.

He's been harder to settle for his naps today and hasn't stayed asleep for very long at all. As a result I have an overtired clingy boy. He was quite attached to his dummy so think this has been a rough morning for him.

I'm going to take the sleepyhead away as of Sunday/Monday I think. Then start gradual retreat on Tuesday. Poor boy will have a tough week. I feel a bit crap that my last week of maternity leave will be spent sleep training but I know the long term benefits are immense to us all!

Good luck with it guys and thank you for your support, it's helped so much xxx

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Original poster

SLKsMum · 10/09/2016 20:31

Oh my goodness. This no dummy business has been rough! Every nap has been so short and a mega fight to get him to sleep. I'm so discouraged about starting the sleep training if this is how he's resisting change. I remember the first day doing gradual retreat with my daughter was horrid but we've not even started and I already feel like a horrible mum and still cuddling him to sleep (eventually)!!! He's just shouting and screaming and running his eyes. Been like this for every nap and I'm done in. Really need some words of encouragement here ladies. 😢 x

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DappledThings · 10/09/2016 21:28

2nd night was 35 minutes of going in and soothing every 4 minutes. He's been asleep now for 2 hours. It's worth it!

Original poster

SLKsMum · 10/09/2016 23:54

Well done DappledThings it sounds like you're making such good progress.

He seems to only settle after a feed. Hoping I'm not giving him another sleep prop.

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Original poster

SLKsMum · 11/09/2016 21:32

Dear lord. It's getting harder and harder and I've not even started sleep training.

I'm at a loss! Now without a dummy he's screaming until exhausted. The only thing that's changed is I've taken the dummy away. I was going to take away the sleepyhead but I can't face it. He's only just gone to sleep after an hour of screaming. Should I try the gradual retreat like planned on Tuesday and take away the sleepyhead at the same time? I'd be tempted to keep it there if I didn't think I'd have a struggle getting rid of it at a later stage.

If I put him down he screams blue myrder. When I pick him up he does enormous burps so I think it would be better for him to be able to roll about a bit to help him bring up his wind. Or can I pick him up every now and then doing gradual retreat? I guess that's not the point and is too stimulating?!

I feel so lost. It's not supposed to be this hard before I've even started sleep training! Any words of advice, encouragement or commiseration would be so greatly received. Please help and deflated and unhappy mummy xx

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