8 month old, won't sleep alone for more than 45 minutes

[Squishysmama]

Hello mums! This is my first post on mumsnet and I'm really desperate for some advice. My son is 8 months. Never been a good sleeper, 4 month regression hit us badly, and started us cosleeping which continues... the main issue we have is his evening wakings.

He goes down around 730 and will sleep c.30-45 mins before it starts... if we get him back to sleep it'll be another 45 mins before he's screaming again. This continues until we take him into our bed but most often he's in the living room with us by 9! Sometimes I take him into bed but often I just want a bit of evening!

He usually goes down drowsy and can sleep for 5-7hrs straight once he's in bed with us so he can sleep at stretch! Really don't know what to do with him, don't want to do CC but he's too stubborn to fall asleep using pupd or any other method.

I'm taking him to a cranial osteopath shortly so hoping that'll help but any advice would be welcome. Apologies for length of post...

No advice to get you out of the situation, but you're not alone. I normally go to bed with DS2, read or go on the Internet once he's asleep. We have co slept since night one. I don't mind it that much, I did the same with DS1 till he grew out if it. My usual bed time ehenn I'm at work is about 930/10 anyway. I'm sure someone will have better advice but remind yourself it won't be forever.

No real advice I'm afraid but just wanted to say hang in there.

My DS2 is almost 10 months and his sleep is gradually improving (cue it all going wrong tonight!). He would also wake every 40mins from 4 months old. Co sleeping he would sleep for 5-6 hours. But I'm really not a fan as my DH and I can't seem to sleep properly when he's there. So I have been persistent at putting him in his cot. I still have to hold him until he's asleep - otherwise he just stands up or sits clapping his hands . When he wakes I try settling him in the cot but if he resists I do pick him up (I worry he will wake DS1) and cuddle him back to sleep. He is getting the message I think. Last night he slept from 7.30pm to 9ish. Fully settled again from 9.30 and slept until 4, quick feed then back to sleep until 6.30am when he was woken by DS1.

Coconutoil and twoms

Thank you for your replies. It is reassuring that you're in the same position, it can be very lonely when every other baby I know seems to sleep through the night in their cot!

Coconut0il, when did ds1 grow out of it? Thankfully dh and I are relaxed about ds sleeping with us but I do worry he'll be in with us for years to come.

TwoMs that's great! I really don't mind wake ups it's just nice to have a couple of hours alone in the evening! (Hope it didn't go wrong last night after you wrote that!)

Hi OP,

I'm in the same situation, I have an almost 9mo DD who has pretty much always slept with us, which for the most part has meant either me/DH having an absurdly early night and just pissing around on our phones for a couple of hours.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a bit of an evening to ourselves, but honestly when we tried starting the night off with her in the cot (all 3 times we tried!) she would just wake every 30 minutes so it wasn't exactly relaxing! But like you, our LO sleeps really well when we are next to her, which I just take as an idication that it's what she needs.

I started a thread the other day (if you co-slept/didn't sleep train) asking for other peoples experiences in this situation, it's worth a read if only to make you realise you are not the only one to do it this way.

And for what it's worth, since I accepted that this was the best way for all of us to get the most sleep and the least stress/tears, I've really been able to enjoy falling asleep with our little terror nestled in between us, it's nice to know that she is falling a sleep feeling safe, happy and loved.

He was probably about 2 and a half, after that he could start the night in his own bed but still came in with us if he woke in the night. It stopped totally when he was about 6.
I did miss the quiet cuddles when it stopped.

Hi sapphire123

He usually goes down drowsy and puts himself to sleep at bedtime after a routine. His wake ups usually require us to rock him back to sleep unfortunately!

Thanks for everyone that comment, just thought I'd update you all, I took baby to a paediatric osteopath yesterday due to his sleep issues as well as a history of digestive concerns (lactose intolerance, constipation etc) they diagnosed tension in his diaphragm?! I'm not a huge believer in such things but he did spend yesterday afternoon laughing and smiling and then slept in his cot 7-11 albeit with us having to go in a few times to pop his dummy back in. Although even then we had none of the hysterical crying and refusal to sleep, just a sleepy baby who went back relatively easily. Tonight so far seems about the same. This was totally not a miracle solution but does seem worth while. We're back next week for more treatment so fingers crossed we see more improvement. Thanks again for your words of support and helping to maintain my sanity