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I thought we were done with the sleep regression...

108 replies

Nousername2015 · 13/06/2016 05:34

On my knees here. Ds is 5 months old and has never been a great sleeper but I'm running out of ideas and patience now. He cannot/will not sleep for more than 3 hours at a time. Before the 4 month sleep regression hit we could get a 4/5 hour stretch and then another 3 hours which I was more than happy with. We were at a christening yesterday with most of our nct group who were talking about the 8/9/12 (!) hour stretches they get at night which has convinced dh that there is something 'wrong' with our baby. I'm just tired, he's bf so the night wakings fall to me to deal with.

Bedtime is 7pm, room is dark, white noise is playing. Change into bed clothes then big breastfeed. Sometimes he will fall asleep when feeding and I can put him down, sometimes it's a couple of rounds of twinkle twinkle with rocking. Where I can I try to put him down slightly awake.

He has a dummy and sometimes also holds a comforter as his hands can be busy if he isn't properly asleep. He never gets into a deep enough sleep where the dummy falls out. We usually end up cosleeping from 4/5 onwards as he won't settle.

If he's been asleep less than 3 hours he usually gets rocked to sleep if he wakes, otherwise it's a feed. He's a great napper and goes down about every 90 mins in the day.

Any suggestions/advice would be very welcome. I do get annoyed and frustrated at still being up 4+ times a night and I know that dh wants to try leaving him to cry which I'm not sure about. I think we'd be handling this better if every other baby at any groups I go to wasn't some kind of magic sleeping machine! Sorry for the rant.

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LittleElephant123 · 16/06/2016 10:46

mya your not doing anything wrong. My HV is useless too. Is happy with my girl because she's putting on weight but she's not the one who's baby won't feed or sleep. This morning I got up and had a big cry in the kitchen because I'm so tired. Hang in there! I'm sure it'll pass soon - for all our sanities Halo

AliceInHinterland · 16/06/2016 10:47

You're not doing anything wrong - he is just a baby and they go through these phases! They are changing so fast and sometimes it just knocks them out of whack. They are not little machines to be controlled and 'fixed', they are amazing little people to be enjoyed. Go with the flow, do whatever it takes to get some everyone back to sleep quickly (feeding, cosleeping) and stop beating yourself up. Perfect a response for when people ask how he sleeps that does not make you feel like a rubbish mother (because you're not).

MYA2016 · 16/06/2016 12:07

Alice I feed // cosleep // pick up and cuddle etc totally led by him but I still am having 2 hrs sleep at night (3 if I'm lucky) for the last 2 months.
My hv tells me I'm wrong for cosleeping and feeding to sleep.
Others tell me I'm wrong for not giving him solids
My husband tells me he shouldn't be in our room let alone our bed.
And at the centre I'm a tired crying mess trying to pretend I'm happy and coping fine!

Little elephant I hope things get better for you soon too. I know we'll probably look back in a few years and wonder why we let these days get to us but when you're living in the moment in the thick of it its really bloody hard Flowers

LittleElephant123 · 16/06/2016 13:57

It is so hard. I've not even told the HV about her cosleeping with us or the fact I've started her on solids. Can't be doing with being judged and told it's the wrong thing to do. They are such hard work but love them to the end of the earth. Monkeys. If I manage to find anything that helps ill let you know.

Have you started your LO on solids? Does cosleeping help you at all?

MYA2016 · 16/06/2016 14:07

Well he sleeps in a cosleeping crib attached to the bed but even that isn't enough anymore and he wants to be in out bed. The only difference it makes in our bed is that he'll fall asleep without screaming but he still wakes just as often

I'm starting on solids tonight actually... With a pea puree. I'm not expecting miracles though!
how old is your LO and how long have they been on solids?
My hv said wean at 24 weeks and he's 21 weeks. I really don't think 3 weeks is going to do him much harm!

LittleElephant123 · 16/06/2016 15:17

She is 22 weeks tomorrow and I started weaning hee at 17 weeks exactly lol. Some may call me terrible but it was the best decision we made. I started because she started refusing hee bottle and I was worried sick so thought we'd try with solids and see how she got on. We were so surprised at how well she did the tongue reflex didn't happen at all so I was over the moon. Now she's on a lunch and a dinner. She loves her veggies but not so keen on fruit - but I suppose I can have it all ways. She's still not interested in milk during the day she averages around 7 oz during the day then takes between 14-17oz during the night. Can't seem to find a breakfast that she likes tho think she's going to be like her dad - just wants coffee Wink. Use your own judgement - if baby doesn't take try again next week or in a few days. We've been giving our girl her sippy cup with water during meals - she loves being a fountain.

We used the Ellas kitchen puches at first and now are onto the jars because there's more in them.

Usually LO is ok in bed with us but last night she wasn't settling at all doesn't help her dad's snoring wakes her up lol.

Let us know how you get on with solids! Good luck and enjoy!

Nousername2015 · 16/06/2016 16:01

Flowers mya that is so tough. You are doing a great job, I know it doesn't feel like it but you are. Like so many others have said I'm holding out that this will pass eventually. Have a chat with your dh, it's important that you communicate. Keep posting on this thread and we'll get through it.

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AliceInHinterland · 16/06/2016 16:23

MYA2016 I didn't mean to sound harsh, it sounds like you are giving everything you've got to your baby, but it's the expectations of others that are making you feel so rubbish. I know that was the case for me - I was so used to being in control of my life and found just going with the flow very difficult and at odds to what the rest of the world seemed to think was right. It is so, so difficult. Your baby is very, very normal otherwise there wouldn't be a million threads, books, and websites on the issue.
As an aside, my DS was worse on solids for a bit while his little digestive system got used to them.
Be very kind to yourself. It helps me to think of myself as just a bit mellow in the day rather than totally exhausted, so I do things slowly, am not very quick thinking, but it really doesn't matter.

Handsoffmysweets · 17/06/2016 07:10

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

MYA2016 · 20/06/2016 09:55

How is everyone getting on?
I thought I'd update... We decided on Friday night to try him in his cot in his own room. I was very reluctant as I thought it would just mean I would be up out of bed all night.
My ds seemed to have developed such a fear of bedtime that even walking into our bedroom would send him into meltdown.
anyway we decided to start giving him a book and his final feed downstairs and then carry him up and put him in his cot and shhhh him with the music on his mobile.
I know I am going to be jinxing this now but for the past 3 nights...its actually worked. And he has all of a sudden started sleeping till 1.30am, then 5.30 and finally getting up at 7am.
anyway I have come to learn that everything is a phase so I'm not expecting this to continue... but thought I'd share.
Last week I really was feeling totally lost but tweaking things and moving him to his own room seems to have really helped him sleep better.

LittleElephant123 · 20/06/2016 10:19

That's so good to hear MYA! Grin. Fingers crossed it keeps up and gets even better! Does he go back down ok after his feed?

We're still pretty much on the same boat I'm reluctant to leave her in her room incase we seep through the baby monitor because we're just so tired. And she spits her dimmy out so much so im constanconconstantly up giving her it back.

Still not taking milk through the day and only at night. However I have started giving her weetabix in the morning with her milk (she does not look impressed 1 bit) but will take a little so better than no milk at all I suppose.

We were up at 4am this morning thinking it was play time I eventually got her back off to sleep at around 6am by rocking her. She's having a nap just now so I'm grabbing 5 minutes to myself Brew

MYA2016 · 20/06/2016 11:06

Yeah after his feeds he'd going straight back down. Easier than he was in the snuzpod strangely?
Are you still giving her other foods or is it just weetabix?

We started weaning last week. I've also started combination feeding him. So now I bf when he wakes and before morning nap, then give him some pureed veg at 11.30 followed by 2-3oz formula (will never take more). Then another bf about 2, 2-3oz formula at 4.30, more pureed veg at 5.30 and then formula at bedtime at 7.30.
I then bf him for any night feeds.
He has always eaten little and often... only bfs for 3-4 min at a time max and only ever one boob per feed. So I'm really consciously trying to get him topped up in the day because if it was down to him he would go 5-6 hours in the day with no feed!
Sorry to hear you were up at 4 :( that sucks

Nousername2015 · 20/06/2016 16:45

That is definite progress MYA! We had an awful weekend, things got to breaking point really and we were both so tired we were just arguing constantly. We were at the in laws so I was getting torn to shreds, 'he's hungry, you need to give formula' etc. Anyway last night I gave him some pureed veg 1hr before bed and he slept 5 hours and then did another 3 after a feed, then another 2 after another and then I brought him into our bed for a bit. Will repeat tonight and hope for the same! Was hoping to just do baby led weaning at 6 months but we are only a couple of weeks off and the pressure from the mil and husband was too much.

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MYA2016 · 20/06/2016 20:31

Haha that's the exact reason I caved too! We went to Devon with MIL and aunties in law and for 4 days I had to sit and listen to how I was starving my poor baby by only giving him breastmilk.
I'm annoyed at myself that i felt pressure to cave in but it actually does seem to have helped (annoyingly).
We have to go by our babies and not the hv... my hv is coming tomorrow and I'm going to tell her and then wait for the backlash! I realised earlier he's actually 23 weeks (thought he was 21 hahaha) and she's always said wean at 24 weeks so I really don't think it's bad.
Sorry to hear you and your husband have been arguing. That's the exact point we were at this time last week.
One minute he was telling me I needed medical help before I had a mental breakdown, the next he looked like he was having a breakdown himself and was shouting at DS like he was a naughty teenager! Then telling me he never ever wants another child etc etc etc. We have got on a lot better the last few days.
Funny what sleep deprivation does to you.
Keep me updated how you get on tonight

LittleElephant123 · 20/06/2016 20:50

Yeh I'm still giving her lunch and dinner. With some fruit also depending on if she has taken milk or not. Today looked like

Offered bottle at 4.30 took 3O
8.30 offered bottle refused
9 had some weetabix and explored toast with milk in a cup
11 took 1.5oz
12 lunch
3pm 1.5oz
5.30 dinner
8 4oz.

Is now in bed been in 3 times already hope this isn't what the night is going to be like. My girl has always been little too the most she has ever taken was 5oz every 3 hours and I think that was a grown spurt.

Glad you and your husband have been getting on better this week! Me and DP have been snapping at each other more so me than him but we keep saying to each other we don't mean it we are just so tired. Glad you are making such great progress! I'm toying with the idea of moving back into our room and leaving her on her own in a few days to see if it makes a difference.

Good luck with the lecture from the HV I'm going to baby clinic on Thursday to get her weighed and I hope the question doesn't pop up. . . .I'm not great at lying Halo.

How did your boy like his solids? And don't get me started on in laws Hmm. Apparently it's great she's not taking milk during the day . . . . Maybe for her but what she fails to realise is she still needs her milk and is constantly up during the night for it grrrrrr.

Nousername2015 · 21/06/2016 07:43

We didn't do as well last night but certain not complaining! Got 4 hours, 3 hours, 1.5 hours then brought him into our bed and got another 3 hours. Actually reading that back it's bloody brilliant! I'm still comparing myself to the nct wonder sleepers.
It's really annoying that so far giving him a bit of puree seems to be working. Luckily I'm not seeing my hv for ages. He's 23 weeks though so not far off needing to start, it's not like I've jumped on it at 17 weeks like a lot of people I know in real life have.
How were your nights?

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LittleElephant123 · 21/06/2016 09:24

We had a rubbish night. Today we were up at 3.30 managed to get her back to sleep at 5. Up at 6. Up at 7. Up at 7.40. Not to mention being up at 10, 12, 1, 2. I burst today. What was really annoying was OH kept snoring and disturbing her just as I had settled her. No matter how many times I kicked his legs or elbowed him didn't seem to wake up and turn over Angry. Don't think my little monkey will ever sleep.

Nousername2015 · 22/06/2016 12:43

elephant, my night was much the same. Just when I thought there may have been a tiny chink of hope...

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LittleElephant123 · 22/06/2016 22:22

Aw that's pants. I hope things get easier for you! How's your LO getting on with solids?

We had a better night last night still not great but better. She ate more during the day yesterday tho. And today she's ate even more a little breakfast, lunch and a yoghurt then her dimmer and fruit. With a few oz of milk at any given opportunity.

Going to get her weighed tomorrow I hope they don't ask anything lol Halo

MYA2016 · 23/06/2016 08:53

How did you both get on last night, any better?
My ds is still doing really well for now, last night he only woke at 3.10 (although he was up for an hour) but I still get the fear every night because of how bad things have been for over 2 months.
I've found that doing a massive overhaul of him routine in one go really has helped although I never thought it would.
Started him on solids / last feed downstairs / moved to cot on his own room.
I really hope things get better for you both soon. I'll keep you posted as to whether things stay okay for me

LittleElephant123 · 23/06/2016 10:47

I'm so glad your DS is doing so well Mya!

We took the plunge last night and moved out of our DD room! It seemed to have helped a little. She got up at 11.10 for a bottle then 2.50. Only stirred once in between she lost her dummy. Then started stirring at 4.30 OH automatically jumped up and made a bottle she only took 2 but it was enough to get her back over as when I went in the legs were out the covers in the air grabbing the toes lol. Then at 5am she woke up again so I went in and made a bed using another quilt and lay on the floor with her and that was us until 8.15! Smile I'm taking that as improvement lol. We even managed to watch a movie!

I felt like I had abandoned her it was so strange being in a room without her. Hearing her little noises. Don't think I slept properly tho was too scared incase I slept through the baby monitor.

Just back from baby clinic DD now weighs 17lbs8oz!! We chunk. Was another HV today who was lovely. Asked the dreaded question have I started weaning. She was so supportive and reassured me about her not taking milk during the day as long as she's getting water and giving enough wet nappies. Not to worry especially since she's having 2 established meals a day.

Nousername2015 · 23/06/2016 12:32

We had a pretty dreadful night. Up pretty much every hour. I think we may have to consider moving him but I'm a bit of a panicker so I don't think it will necessarily mean more sleep for me. I might swap sides with dh as the first step, he sleeps more soundly than me.
Weaning is going well, he's only on 1 meal about an hour before bedtime but he's wolfed down all the

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Nousername2015 · 23/06/2016 12:34

Oops sorry! Veggies so far.
mya I'm so pleased things are going so well! Enjoy catching up on some much needed sleep.

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LittleElephant123 · 23/06/2016 12:42

So sorry things still aren't great for you. I was quite reluctant to leave DD in her own room I just kept saying to myself I have to do it 1 day. Had the monitors up the loudest and left our room door opened. Might be worth a try? If it doesn't make a difference you could always move back in.

Glad he's enjoying his food!

Ladylolly · 23/06/2016 15:22

Reading your posts has made me feel so much better.
LO is 25 weeks and we've been battling with no sleep for the last 5 weeks.

Was a super 7hr sleeper up until 3 months then hit a regression. Got it back to two wake ups and then BOOM up every 45mins - an 1hr. The best night we've had was a 3hr stretch.

Questioning my mothering constantly and wether I've caused his sleep issues due to feeding/rocking/singing him to sleep and feeding him back to sleep.

We have a good bedtime routine and he settles quickly but is usually up 45 mins later.

Can be a great napper but most of the time will do 3 X 45 mins naps.

We are now bed sharing which has made it slightly bearable, but is a bone of contention.

Interested to hear that going into their own room has helped as it's probably the only thing we haven't tried.

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