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Original poster

Anyone up? Could do with a handhold

98 replies

Zaurak · 08/06/2016 23:23

I know I haunt these boards but I'm at a real low tonight. Ds (8mo) is not sleeping. Again. I'm averaging under an hour of sleep a night. I just can't cope.
Sitting in tears next to an inconsolable screaming baby and frankly want to chuck myself out the window at the thought of another day with zero sleep.
Sorry. Just needed a vent.

OP posts:
Comfortzone · 08/06/2016 23:51

After a feed I would have a large blanket wrapped around baby and some calpol/bonjela

gentle swaying or rocking while you sing quietly to him (difficult I know when you're exhausted)

but if he settles with you like this which worked well for me then I lay down beside them all wrapped and snuggled

A dummy also helped loads once baby was fed, burped etc wrapped in blanket, held and sung to.

GraceGrape · 08/06/2016 23:55

From a completely untrained perspective, it does seem unusual that he cries so much at 8 months without there being some underlying cause. It sounds like it's very difficult for you to get help from your GP.
Remote possibility, but have you tried going dairy-free? Cow's milk protein intolerance/allergy can make for very unhappy babies.

Original poster
Zaurak · 08/06/2016 23:57

We do co sleep. Well, co-lie. There's wry little sleeping involved. He feeds all night. I lie in increasing discomfort.

No bonjela here! It's banned 🙄 Will pick some up next time I'm in the uk... Possibly also gin ...

I try to give him liquid paracetamol. He goes crazy when you try to dose him. I've never got a full dose in and believe me, I'm handy with a syringe. Won't be fooled by mixing it in with anything either. It took two of us to pin him down and dose him today. I'm going to try the suppositories I think (sorry ds...)

We do feed lying down. He tries to feed all night which makes it impossible to sleep. He won't take a bottle. I'm working on it - trying every day to get him used to a bottle but he wont bloody take it. If he did I'd be leaving him with dh overnight

Sorry, I know I'm moaning. I know there's no magic answer. I know it will pass. It's just I feel a bit on the brink tonight

OP posts:
Cel982 · 08/06/2016 23:57

If you're not already doing this, OP, take him into the bed with you, put some pillows behind your shoulder and back on one side to support you, lie him on your other side and let him latch on. If he'll feed happily in that position then you can sleep that way too. I couldn't have got through the nights without co-sleeping.

neolara · 08/06/2016 23:57

You poor thing. My ds screamed and screamed.when teething. Calpol was useless. Neurofen worked much better. I think I gave him Neurofen every night for about 2 months.

Any chance you could hire some for a couple of hours a week to take your ds for a walk so you can go to bed.

In retrospect, I'm pretty sure my screamy ds had a dairy intolerance. Screaming, vomiting and constant rashes. Could that be a possibility for your ds?

MeMySonAndl · 08/06/2016 23:58

That sounds very very though.

Look, you need to take a step back, it is too much and it is not going to be sorted tonight. Let baby with dad, get yourself to another room and close the door. He might scream all night, dad might not sleep at all, but you are the one that needs to be at the front of the queue tonight. Let it be and have some rest.

Tomorrows is another day.

Cel982 · 08/06/2016 23:58

Sorry, cross-post! Is there any way you can sleep with him latched? Body pillows made a huge difference to me.

GraceGrape · 08/06/2016 23:58

Sorry, just re-read that. Obviously strangers on the internet are not the best people to give medical/dietary advice, just trying to think of something you could try. Had two reflux babies myself and would have gone insane GP support.

Original poster
Zaurak · 09/06/2016 00:02

I guess it could be a dairy intolerance...

OP posts:
Original poster
Zaurak · 09/06/2016 00:04

I find it really hard to sleep with him latched on. I had spd very badly and I'm not recovered- lying like that is ok got a bit but it soon becomes painful. He feeds, and naps but I can't sleep that way. It's still better than anything else I've tried

OP posts:
Comfortzone · 09/06/2016 00:08

Hang in there keep posting

In that situation, I would firstly if you have a bouncy chair sit him in there, put cartoons on the tv or via youtube and let him sit for half an hour

Get yourself a bowl of cereal/cup of sweet tea/biscuit sit next to him but you don't need to hold him he knows you're there

calmly (I know sorry) talk to him about the cartoon etc etc

Give yourself a break you are doing all you can - take a half hour break, let him settle with a distraction such as cartoons etc

If you have a dummy, give it to him while he's distracted
If you can express some milk into a bottle and just pass it to him while he's distracted he will naturally lift it to his mouth and figure out that he has to suck it to get the milk out
Keep near to him not out of sight and chat about the cartoon

The distraction is key to getting his screaming to stop

then everything else can be tried

Once settled with a dummy or bottle hopefully you can lay beside him on blankets cushions cartoons still on tv quietly and lift him out of the bouncer once he has possibly hopefully dozed off in there - or leave him there to sleep - up to you

Really want to help you OP

Original poster
Zaurak · 09/06/2016 00:16

Thanks comfort I've been trying since day 1 to give him a dummy - he's interested in them to chew/fling but will not suck them. I've tried everything short of gaffer taping it on and every different model I can find.

I genuinely think there's a physical cause for all this. I wish he could tell me what's wrong. I'm beginning to worry there's something mentally wrong.

OP posts:
Comfortzone · 09/06/2016 00:17

Has he settled a little bit since your first post? What have you tried so far?

Original poster
Zaurak · 09/06/2016 02:35

He screamed until 2:3o. Then I just fed him again. It's the only thing that ever works. He slept for 40 mins or so and is now awake. It's broad daylight here (despite blackout blinds) So he won't go back to sleep again now.
He will feed and doze very very lightly. if i turn over he will wake and scream. If I get out of bed to go the loo he will wake and scream. If I stop feeding him he will wake and scream.

OP posts:
fluffikins · 09/06/2016 05:32

Is definitely consider cutting dairy

HalfStar · 09/06/2016 05:37

Whereabouts are you OP? Hope you are managing to doze. So feel for you as have been there. Out walking with my toddler right now in fact as she decided to wake up at silly o clock. Please go to GP and write letter or state that you are worried for both of your safety. You will go insane listening to that screaming apart from anything else. Our dc was a bit like this and there was a medical cause we think - she is a transformed child now despite this mornings shenanigans. Keep posting x

HalfStar · 09/06/2016 05:40

And your husband needs to do more - take him out in buggy or car etc.

waitingforsomething · 09/06/2016 06:30

I'm really sorry op it sounds fucking awful. My baby was a horror until 8months when he suddenly got it so It can be quite a sudden transformation. Seriously he was up all night.
Ive only had time to skim but will he take formula from a bottle or cup? It could fill him up a bit, discourage the boob snacks and help you.
Where do you live? I also live abroad (in Asia) but there are Western gps here that cost a lot but are totally worth it for issues such as reflux. Is this possible for you or are you already in a Western country.
If you're in the same abroad-land as me I will be with you immediately!

Comfortzone · 09/06/2016 06:48

Ok - so - hot shower for you while he sits on bouncy chair then something to eat for you

Then make another GP appt

also seriously try the distraction technique - could be he's also picking up on your understandable stress from what you're having to cope with

as I said previously, try distracting him with cartoons, sit with him on floor telly on box of toys etc

he's also possibly needing some extra mental stimulation too as they can be very curious at that age

this weekend your dh needs to take him out to park if there is one/out away for the whole afternoon while you sleep!

find a mums group get a mothers home help similar to UK Sure Start I'd it exists where you are

mumsmet posters will try and help u

and coffee for you too

does he ever sit and play in the daytime? does he get fresh air in the day so he's tired at night? what's his routine? bananas helped calm my baby at that age too

I'd put her in the high chair with safe foods to experiment with while I chatted to her but it gave me a break from holding her all the time

Comfortzone · 09/06/2016 06:49

sorry prob not helping but racking my brains to suggest what helped me survive that age when dd was similar

WalkThePlank0 · 09/06/2016 06:59
Flowers

I've seen your posts before. Sorry you're having such a rough time. This sounds terrible. Agree you must perserve with the Dr. Is there anyway you can stay with family, this counts as an emergency, I think? Can you come back to the UK? I agree that you should push the Dr for a referral. Can you do this here, in the UK? At the very least is there a babysitting service where you are? Or a nursery?

dizzyfucker · 09/06/2016 07:11

I have no advice, it sounds like you have tried everything. I went through exactly what you are going through. I cannot help other than to say that my 6 year old is currently asleep in his own room.

It does pass, I honestly can't remember how or when but it does. Flowers

Footle · 09/06/2016 07:12

Can you take him to a paediatrician ? In some countries you don't need a GP to refer you. He really doesn't sound well : no wonder you're feeling so awful.

pocketsized · 09/06/2016 07:27

I would definitely consider cutting dairy from your (and his) diet. DD was like this, she just screamed all the time, wanted milk constantly, never slept for more than an hour or so and even rhen didn't aeem settled. It was awful, I got terrible PND and I really thought I would breakdown. When they finally suggested a milk allergy and we cut dairy it made a world of difference. Her sleep still isn't great, but it's so much better, there's very little screaming and it's very managable. It might not do anything for your DS, but it sounds like you have such little support from your Dr thatit might be worth a try. It takes a couple of weeks to make much difference, and it's worth being aware that quite a few babies who are allergic to dairy are allergic to soya, so maybe be a bit careful about adding in too much replacement soya.

It is awful, and you have done so well to get this far in circumstances that are really tough.

WonderMomma · 09/06/2016 07:36

Download a white noise app onto your phone and play out white noise, it helped with both of mine

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