Will this get better

[dividedmansions]

11 week old DS. For about a month he was sleeping one 4-6 hour stretch at night then going back to sleep for a few hours then one other feed. About three weeks ago he started waking every 3 hours for a feed (EBF). Now it's every 2 hours. Can't be a growth spurt, it's been too long. I've tried resettling him when he wakes without feeding (dummy etc) but no joy.

Im so desperate for a long stretch. There is no point in oh giving him a bottle. We have no spare bed so I would hear him wake up anyway.

Does it get better. Any tips? I don't understand why he started longer stretches then stopped

I sympathise with you, it's torture.

You will get lots of different opinions on this but in my experience (2 EBF DC) a couple of keys questions to ask yourself:

1. is he getting enough feeds in the day? Try to up the daytime consumption so his nighttime needs are less.
2. is he getting enough sleep in the day? Sleep breeds sleep, at 11w he should be having not much longer than a couple of hours between naps
3. have you ruled out any health problems like silent reflux, colic etc, is overall weight gain good?

Good luck and congrats on your new baby. I can't (sorry) say that it gets easier, my experience is all babies at all stages are different, but things will change and you won't be in this stage forever.

Thank you for your reply. In answer:

1. I think so - he feeds roughly every 2.5 to 3 hours. But he does not cluster feed in the evenings and has never done so - I have no idea why. I do try to offer him boob more often in the evenings but he gets cross if I offer it and he isn't hungry.

2. I believe so - I'm really anal about this actually as if he gets remotely overtired he gets very upset. I'd say he can only manage 90 mins awake before needing to nap. He tends to have one long nap per day (about 90 mins to 2.5 hours sometimes) and then a few shorter ones. Last nap about an hour before 'bedtime' which varies depending on him but is usually 7 at the earliest and 9 at the latest. He won't however nap properly unless swaddled in his cot with the curtains closed - so exactly the same as night sleeping.

3. yes he's generally v happy and content baby. Weight gain is good. At night when he wakes he literally just wants to feed and goes straight back down again (mostly).

I just can't understand it as he's clearly capable of sleeping for longer stretches as he was doing it before.

My 15 week old is exactly the same, I could have written your post. First we started upping the day feeds to rule out hunger. Once I was confident he was getting enough calories in the day, I have now started to resettle without feeding between 11ish and 5ish. We've been using baby whisperer method of pick up/put down. It takes some perserverance but lack of sleep was killing me and I needed to break the habit of him feeding constantly throughout the night. We are only two nights in but I've been surprised that it has worked in so far as he's gone back to sleep eventually each time without being fed and it's only taken 20 mins each time really.

I would also look at maybe changing daytime naps from being in the dark to make sure he knows difference between night and day.

Thanks Casablanca. I'm confused on the day time naps thing tbh - I was originally doing that so he learned the difference but then I read all naps should be in baby's "sleep space" so they get used to sleeping in cot etc. Also if he's not in the dark he tends not to stay asleep very long and then gets grumpy and overtired. But I may try switching back to living room naps over the next few days and seeing if that helps some.

Ill try harder to resettle without a feed. I don't mind doing one feed at night or even two - say at 3am and 6am. He's so easy to settle after a feed that it's not a big deal - I literally just put him straight down in his cot. It's the fact there's no initial longer stretch that's so exhausting.

I offered him boob just now even though he wasn't asking and he took it so I'll just keep trying that too. I did dream feed him last night at 11 but it made no difference as he was awake again at one...

It sounds like you're doing brilliantly, certainly no alarm bells or warning flags.

Unfortunately, babies do just change, especially in the early days. One of the drivers for this is developmental leaps (see the wonder weeks) too, these vantage place over w couple of weeks and be quite disruptive for the baby.

I know you want the longer stretch, but having had two EBF myself I would honestly implore you to sleep when the baby sleeps and do what you need to get through it. I know I balked st this when I had my pfb but looking back, there was absolutely no real reason for me not to other than the fact that I was trying to force DS to confirm to my daily routine and not his own.

This is honestly the only time you will be able to catch up on sleep. The need to do so can go on for many months (our 4month sleep regression last over half a year, I was in pieces), but babies gradually need more and more from you throughout the day. I know this seems difficult to comprehend now but just don't needlessly blow yourself up, if you can get half an hour nap when baby does, take it.

This part will change again as suddenly as if started, I think they just like to keep us on our toes and remind us who's boss!