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Sleep

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Original poster

Getting baby to sleep without feeding

10 replies

hannahjj · 23/05/2016 20:45

Hi, I need some advise please!
My baby girl is 6 months now and has always been breast fed to sleep, at first she would feed and then I would place her in her crib and she would sleep, that soon went to pot and some how I'm not too sure how she's ended up sleeping next to me in my bed half the time with a boob in her mouth, she sleeps well and doesn't feed in the night she just wants the boob in there for comfort I guess.
This isn't ideal for various reasons one being my husband sleeping on the edge of his side and literally falling out of bed one night he has that little room 😂 Baby sleeps next to me and I go in the middle, anyway I need to move her to her own room and cot but have no idea how to, if I feed her to sleep and put her down she sleeps for ten mins and then wakes up looking for a nipple and then gets upset when there isn't one, she has never taken a dummy so that's no good, I can't let her cry it out as I can't bear it and have read so much about Romanian orphans who were left to cry etc it's put it off that for life so I have no clue what to do!
She has a sleeping bag, a good bedtime routine, she just wants a warm boob to snuggle up to, I feel like I've broken her and she will be like this forever!
Any advise or tips to get her to settle in her cot by herself will be greatly appreciated!!
Thank you xx

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FifiFerusha · 23/05/2016 22:06

Can you introduce a comforter and place it between her and you when you feed her for a few weeks until she associates that with the comfort of feeding/ sleeping? Carry on as normal though until she gets used to it. Then have a go at putting her down very drowsy with the comforter near to her(in cot right next to your bed??) Then, after a while putting her down gradually less and less drowsy and then hopefully the comforter will be a sleep association. Finally she may even take to it in her own room. I have always given my DS a comforter to play with as he feeds and now when he settles himself he will suck on it( took a few months of shh patting/ stroking from me as well though and he only SS for bedtime, not naps really) I know this may be easier said than done mind. Maybe someone might have a better idea than me x x

Sparrowlegs248 · 23/05/2016 22:10

My ds was like this. It all.improved when he started sleeping on his front when he learnt to roll. Now at 10 months I still feed to sleep then pit him down on his front at 6.30-7pm. He tends to sleep til 12/1 although it was 9.30/10 to start with. At 12/1 I bring him into bed, short feed back to sleep til 4)5 then back off til 6. Or wide awake.....

Coconut0il · 23/05/2016 22:41

You haven't broken herMy DS2 is 9 months and likes to sleep as you describe. No advice to do it quicker but my DS1 was the same and he just grew out of it. It was a slow process, we moved from feeding to sleep, to cuddles and singing, to a story. He got there in the end. I'm sure someone will have some good advice but just wanted to let you know it won't be forever!

Original poster

hannahjj · 24/05/2016 08:39

Thank you everyone, I think I will try the comforter and see if I can get her to take to that.
Spent 3 hours last night trying to get her to sleep in her cot, fed her and put her down asleep and she would last 10 minutes and wake up when she started looking for a boob and there wasn't one, and get upset, did this over and over until 9.30 and then cracked and bought her downstairs and was alseep on me within seconds. Gave up then and she came to bed with us.
I suppose at least I am vaguely getting her used to her cot, even if it's just for 10 mins 😂

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peardroplets · 24/05/2016 09:34

Google the pantley pull off or have a look at the no cry sleep solution book.. I'm sure she will protest a bit but if you keep trying it you might get results in a few months. I started doing it around four months then around six months she started occasionally delatching herself a few seconds before falling asleep. Then i started getting her off the boob a bit earlier before she was too zonked and now she generally drops off at ten months on her own though it has been a slow process with lots of baby steps. It helps to have a really dark room with the same relaxing music on at bedtume. My DH also lay in the other side of her so she felt nice and secure while she was learning to drop off on her own. now we can put her down in her cot and lie in the bed next to her while she burbles and kicks around for a bit then will drop off on her own. Good luck x

bunny85 · 24/05/2016 10:51

Watching with great interest, as my son is also 6 months old and you could literally be describing my situation in absolute detail, except for now we moved our daddy to the other room, the poor thing was sleeping on the edge and squashed badly.

Me and ds still co-sleep. He also wants boob every time he wakes to go back to sleep. However, a few nights back he woke up next to me and started crying for boob as always. I was so deep asleep and was desperate for sleep that I just stroked, patted and cuddled him and shhushed him as I so couldn't be bothered to feed and to my huge amazement...he went back to sleep!!!! I was so shocked I actually woke up but oh my gosh that was unbelievable. Since then, I always do it first before giving the boob. Sometimes he goes back to sleep and sometimes he doesn't, so then I feed of course. I also read No Cry Sleep Solution and some ideas I found helpful.

Was so relieved to read pp's that they grow out of it eventually... At the moment he wakes every 1-2h and its so hard

Wishing you all the best!

Original poster

hannahjj · 24/05/2016 17:04

Glad I'm not the only one! I think it's just too easy to stick a boob in her mouth in the middle of the night and we both go back to sleep, I'm gonna give the patting and stuff a go tonight and see what happens! I'm sure she eill grow out of it like most things but just wish there was some quick easy way to do it 😥
I will google the pull off thing and have heard the no cry solution mentioned before so will try that too, at least we get the most cuddles that's one good thing about it all. Thanks everyone xx

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FifiFerusha · 24/05/2016 21:24

Just to warn you shh patting takes a lot of perserverance as they will object for a while until they get used to it. Again I would start by putting her down really drowsy after a feed as she is used to that and then gradually putting her down and shhhh ing when less and less drowsy etc...They will cry, then calm, then cry, then calm etc.. At least I found that with my DS but after 4 months it irritated him and I found shh stroking(stroking his chest) worked better. Don't give up at the first hurdle, be determined and it may well work eventually. However, it may not be for all babys. . .good luck x

Original poster

hannahjj · 26/05/2016 09:45

Ooh had a mini breakthrough last night! She was in her cot randomly rooting around for a nipple and I stuck a dummy I found in the cupboard in (she has never taken one) and she sucked it and fell asleep!!!! Didn't last long cos it fell out so you have to go and stick it back in but at least it worked for a while, it's a kinda progress I guess! X

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FifiFerusha · 27/05/2016 13:58

Yay, go with the dummy then if she likes it. They are very useful. Unfortunately my DS never took to them :( Hope all is going well x

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