'Sleep is for the Weak' for anyone with August/Sep 06 DC's

[justJAM]

GM, Cruise and anyone else with LO's born around August/September 06' - this is a support thread for when you have no clue as to why your LO is doing the exact opposite to what they were doing last week and when you are thinking WTF????
Post on here and we shall all compare notes and comfort each other!!

p.s. kiera, i certainly didnt think you were advocating medised to well lo's for the narcotic effect and am sure no one else did either
would be nice to think we could get the elixir of sleep over the counter from the chemist tho!! as well as elixir of youth, weight loss, memory gain,.....

awful night. ds took from 6:30 - 9:15pm to settle . up at 11.35, 1.10am, 2.35am, 3.00am, 3.30 till 4.40am, 5.10am . feel like shit today. i dfon't know what to do

cruise - sending you a big, big, big cyber hug its not what you're doing or not doing, they're just contrary buggers and like to keep us on our toes!! i know it's bloody frustrating when you have a few good nights and they show you that they can do it, then bang! it all goes to shit again.
i have tried just about every suggestion that i've been given i think (will write them down one day, just for a laugh) but sometimes, it just doesnt seem to matter what you do,..
its ironic that i have a VERY relaxing job (not that i'm working at the moment) and i havent been this stressed in a long time since becoming a new mum again.... chin up, everyone's here for you

cruise - remember the good nights!

it seems for all of us the general trend is very slow gradual improvement with a few bad nights thrown in?

marls - yes I have tried offering more in day but he won't feed unless hungry. he is a v efficient feeder though, takes all he needs in 5 minutes flat day and night! Why the suggestion of me feeding him for a couple of nights rather that expressing? expressing is a new thing we are trying so dh can feed him and I can get more than 2 hours unbroken sleep!

re co-sleep have found that this has stopped working for us, as lo struggles to get to sleep next to me, settles better in his cot. don't know whether to be or . still in desperation he often comes in with me for a feed and goes back out again when he doesn't settle...

well we tried the dream feed last night and had a worse night for it or was it just co-incidence? fed lo at 8pm, dream feed at 10pm, still woke at 12 for bottle from dh (not habit as wakes at diff times), took 4oz ff as I was only able to express 2oz after the dream feed. but then woke again at 2.45, 4.45 for bfeed then slept till 8.45, which would have been fab had ds1 not got up - aaaargh!

he is napping better now though in the day - I find I have to leave him to cry as obviously he would rather play with mummy - but he settles quickly, only took him 8 mins just now

feeling crap though as lost my temper with ds1 last night he's 3 and is refusing to wash his hands after going to the toilet atm and it drives me mad, also he wanders around without pulling up his pants and trousers, rummages through the bin in the downstairs toilet, sticks his hands down the pan...so its the hygiene aspect that riles me esp with lo around. I know he's doing it for attention and perversely it makes me angry rather than giving him the attention. Last night he spent 45 mins of repeated time-outs then dh rang to say he'd be working late, lo was grizzling and wanting to go to bed, I was trying to cook dinner which ds1 prob wouldn't now eat as had gone into melt-down and I just snapped. feel like such a crap mother now. had to drag ds1 into pre-school today as he didn't want to go (most unusual) and I know it's all my fault for screaming at him. you know you shouldn't do it and I always said I wouldn't but sometimes you just can't take any more, counting to ten doesn't work for me...so sad and wish I could turn back the clock...

Cruise, hope for a better one tonight.

Kiera, it was me suggesting stopping expressing for a couple of nights. Just because I wondered if your LO would actually get more from you than you could express and therefore sleep more. I'd forgotten that you were feeding so much so obviously this wouldn't work for you. Not sure what else to suggest. I guess you'll just have to ride it unless you introduce a ff.

Kiera re: screaming; I did it too. My DS1 is 3 also, and sometimes he can be the most obnoxious person I have ever met in my life. I screamed/yelled at him only ONE time in his entire life and that was last week & I felt horrible. Luckily it hasn't bothered him since that day. He is much more flexible and better at rebounding/forgetting than I was thinking he'd be. Your DS probably will be too.

Day 2 of "Baybywise": DS2 asleep from 10 pm until 5:35 am - except the 1.5 hours when he was crying solidly, 12:30-2, with DH going in every 20 min. or so to try to calm him. No idea why. We'll see what happens tonight, night 3.

Good news - we had a fab night last night! I re-read the baby whisperer and she suggests having dh/dp settle lo with a dummy instead of a bfeed so we tried this last night, fed him at 8, woke up crying at 11 just as I was going to bed so gave him another feed, woke up again 1.45 so I know he couldn't be hungry so dh tried the dummy and although lo wouldn't normally take a dummy he was so sleepy it worked and he then slept till 4.45am fed again at 6.45am and slept till 8.45am again. worth a try!

Hiya ladies, am jst checking how you are all doing because I am missing you all . You are like a little family .

Hope things are getting better for you and that some good nights of sleep were had. Keira sounds like things are improving! My DD still doing well but thats all I'll say for fear of jinxing things

afternoon ladies!
cc21, am REALLY pleased that things are going so well, how old is your lo?

kiera, sounds like a good night for you, fingers x'd for more like that would love to try the dummy idea, but dd refuses to take one. ditto bottle.
marls, the babywise idea seems to be working, hurray!

have just got up from an afternoon siesta with her. we fell asleep on settee, her bfing, then when she woke, i popped boob back in to sleep longer. had an hr and hlf! just lay there before she woke, watching her sleeping. just reminded me how lucky i am and that it's all worth it. i know its hard sometimes, especially the sleeping, or lack of, but just the sight of her little mouth moving as if she were still feeding, her little fuzzy duckling hair, her beautiful eyelashes (melt, melt)!

i wish you all peaceful afternoons and restful nights
p.s excuse the schmaltz!!

havn't been near p.c. for 3 days.tibsy,my lo has bottles and breast.think she was a bit off when she kept waking, last 2 nights have been better.down at 8.30 pm then awake at 3 am,which is great. but then in bed and attached to me for rest of night it seems anyway.I'd love to read all of this thread,but when I do get chance,I'm so tired!Its mad isn't it. Still,we've all fun in the snow the last 2 days despite endless crap nights,you have to laugh don't you?...but will we ever sleep again??????

Tibsy - dd has just turned 25 weeks. Same again last night. Think we really have turned a corner!!

She has just done it herself as well I believe, they really are funny little things aren't they?? Anyway I'm in an ace mood today as my friend had a little girl this morning. Can't wait to hold a teeny weeny baby again

morning.
redbeki, glad to hear that your nights are getting better. i hope you start to feel more energised soon. wish i could get lo to take bottle but still not having any of it.
she went to bed at 6.45pm last night, good as gold, then woke at 10.15 and screamed her head off, on and off for 2 hours. felt so alone as (d)p was just sat downstairs watching tv and not once did he come up to ask if i needed a hand git
cc21, your lo is a week older than mine so have told her i'm hoping for good things soon! enjoy visiting your friend and her lo there are a couple of 3 week old bubbas at a group i go to and i cant believe they're so weeny!!!
hope everyone else is in good spirits and lovely lo's are well and rested

tibsy - any idea what the two hour crying was about? wish i could have a siesta with lo, no chance with ds1 around!

cc21 - congrats on the sleep and the new baby!

well it was our turn to have a horrible night last night, after our success with dh and the dummy the previous night lo just wouldn't settle last night, fed 8pm, 10.45pm, woke once or twice until 2.45am when I got up and fed him, woke again 4.45am when gave up and brought him into bed with me, next thing I knew it was 6.15am and he was sucking away - so much for teaching him not to bfeed to sleep!...maybe this is a growth spurt as he fed a lot in the day too but sooo hard to tell...felt really down this morning, I want my mum and want to be taken care of myself....so tired...

Just a quick check in - more tomorrow...kiera - sorry you are feeling down. My mum lives a distance away and my dad is terminally ill so she visits once a fortnight for a couple of nights. It is pure heaven when she is here as she is so supportive and a fantastic hands on help .
Tibsy - my ds is really fussy with the bottle. Ihave been gradually weaning from bf to ff but sometimes he just refuses and I relent (I love bf really so I guess he doesn't need to try to hard ). I know I want to bite the bullet sometimes soon though as it will help combat his nighttime dependency on mummy as a sleep inducer (well that's the plan anyway .
Just looked in on him sleeping and my dd too. Such precious creatures. Makes me all proud and teary n'nite all.....

evenin, tibsy,I do sympathise with you and your unsympathetic (d)p.That's really unfair of him.Mine can be just like that.Sometimes they just need to be told ,when we think they should know,things are not always so obvious to them.Sorry,but two hours of screaming should be!did you ask him to help?Sounds like he needs a kick up the bum.Are you b.f.ding?I think I 'd be completely wrecked if I hadn't mastered the art of combination feeding from six weeks.It took me a while,but I think if you leave it longer than six weeks,it can be really hard to get them to take bottles.
kiera- I know advice now is food from six months,but maybe lo is hungry.maybe try a bit of baby rice at lunchtime?
hope you all have a better night .sweet dreams.

tibsy - your dh sounds a lot like mine

cruise you are so lucky with your mum

redbeki - lo will happily take calpol from a spoon so I get the feeling he will take to weaning no problem but want to stretch him out a bit longer if poss - he's 21 weeks on wednesday so only 5 weeks to go. will be monitoring his weight though at baby clinic to make sure he is ok.

we had a pretty good night last night - fed 8pm, 12.30am (!!!), 2.45am had 7oz formula (will happily take a bottle ), woke again 5am and I tried feeding him not knowing how much he had taken with dh, he fed a bit but then realised he had woken 'cos he'd done a poo by which time he was fast asleep again, he then slept till 8.30am! would have been wonderful had ds1 not got up at 6.15am grrrr needless to say lo's still not v hungry this morning! tried expressing for the feed he missed when I got up and only managed to get 4 1/2 oz! I have to go back to work next sat one day a week and if can't express enough he'll have to have formula...hope this isnt the beginning of the end iykwim as I love bfeeding...

hi all, just a quick one whilst dd is napping. had a crap night with her (many wakings), but not too bad as brought her in with me and bf , trying to break the habit and had been doing well...
kiera, am sorry you were feeling down, i am fortunate to be able to have a daytime nap if desperate, i really do take my hat off to all you mums with other lo's. hope you're feeling a bit more perkier. xx
redbeki, i am bfing and i love it but wish i had started bottle earlier. i had a lot of trouble getting into bfing (ds was ff) and didnt want to upset it, consequently, left it too late. will keep perservering tho, i'm a stubborn so and so
cruise, your mum sounds lovely, my mum and i seem to rub each other up the wrong way sorry to hear about your dad tho

dp is being marginally less of a git, we just seem to go over the same ground and i'm tired of repeating myself...aahh well, another story.
big hugs to you all

Well, after a few reasonable nights, last night and Sat night were a nightmare again. I think she had a stomach upset tho to be honest as both I and DH had and we had about 5 dirty nappies Sat night!

Just put her down for lunch time nap in her cot which was also a friggin' nightmare. I just don't buy this idea of catching them the minute they start to show signs of tiredness. She started yawning about 11.15 so sat her on my knee for a cuddle, went to her room, drew blind, checked nappy, put lullabys on, sat and cuddled. She was a bit restless so I fed her. Seemed to settle so put her in her cot where she chatted for about 15 minutes then we had total meltdown which involved, her screaming obviously, and me litterly laying in her cot with her. That's 45 minutes to get her to sleep. I may as well have waited until she was so tired she couldn't keep her eyes open.

All this routine milarky is bllocks if you ask me. How do these 'gurus' get these routines to work?

Grrrrr

PS Just to join the rant about DH's/ DP's. I'd hoped my DH would have got the hint that I'd been up all night so could have taken over at 6.15 when DD had pooed everywhere but no. He needs at least half an hour to wake up. Well, lucky him. W@nker.

Anyone, else fed up to the back teeth with sleep deprevation? I love DD, don't get me wrong and I look at her face and my heart melts but I know I'd be a much better mummy and a nicer person if I got some friggin sleep.

I'm with you there ginger - its just taken about that amount of time for us to get lo down for much-needed nap, had to leave him to cry in the end which I am not proud of, it breaks my heart, he just needed to sleep soooo much, and I've only just got dressed so couldn't take him out in buggy.

I was in tears this morning when ds1 appeared at 6am. Convinced I'd got PND as getting so stressed out but dh and doctor reckon its just tiredness and the strain of caring for a baby and 3 year old...3 year old constantly wants my attention and has many irritating behaviours that drive me up the wall (I do love the little fella don't get me wrong...just you wait those of you who have just the one), coupled with lo's sleep problems are driving me to distraction. thank god dh stayed at home today as he's feeling ill as I was so angry this morning I knew I would be struggling not to scream at them all day

cruise - also I meant to say I am so sorry about your dad (((((hugs))))) I lost my dad last year after a long illness. really feel for you.

thanks all for sympathies. more later, cooking a casserole!

Hi all - We seem to be having great luck with babywise so far - too soon to really know but if there's another 5 days of this then I'll be sure to post what we're doing. DS2 has stayed SOLIDLY asleep between 10pm and 5am for the past few nights.

His personality has changed! Unbelievable, the difference. He's def. no longer in the "hurry up and get older" stage for me anymore.
Used to be if he wasn't asleep or eating he was fussy. I'd get 1.5 hours of "okay" per day from him. Now he is extremely good-natured as well as pudgy/cuddly!! I'm really enjoying him now.

Again still watching & waiting re: the method though - to see if this keeps up.

Kiera & Ginger - I'm so sorry. That's def what it was like for me with DS1, and it felt like surviving a battle field every day. Really feeling for y'all. I can't fathom a DH who wiouldn't help in that situation. IMHO insist on it. Draw boundaries. Make rules. Threaten. Come up with an ultimatum. On a whole entire Saturday - just LEAVE the house. Leave DH with them. If you can, leave him overnight. Sat and Sun. Make up an excuse. I'd resigned myself to the battle field again but overall this time around it hasn't been as bad - just hoping the personality I've been seeing recently is the son I actually have & it's not a phase!!!

ginger and kiera, might i join you on the nap front moan?! it is SO hard to get dd off with out bfing her and i am trying, i mean REALLY trying not to do that. the other afternoon, after being awake for hours and hours and hours and being mardy, she conked out. as soon as i put her in her cot, she opened her eyes and starts chatting away, big beaming smile. lovely, but i was bloody exhausted after entertaining her and would have relished even 20 mins rest

marls, sounds like this babywise guy rocks!! will eagerly await post when you feel ready

Yeah, and after all that she only slept for 30 minutes. She's supposed to be napping now but has just done another dirty nappy so all that wind down is for nothing as I've got to get her up again to change her. No wonder I resort to slogging it out in the buggy. I'm so sick of going out for long walks! She still only sleeps for 30 mins when I do but it's easier to get her to sleep. She's slept for about 1.5 hours tops today.

Anyway, enough moaning. Marls, hear what you're saying and tbh, DH is great most of the time. I'm increadibly bossy and he's pretty relaxed so it's more a different approach than him not helping. I'm short changing him when I moan because he takes his responsibilities very seriously and is keen to be a good dad. I just expect him to be able to read my mind!!

Anyone having trouble getting LO's to take a bottle? I want to start mixed feeding in a few weeks but DD won't take the bottle. I'm dreading the thought that I'll have to BF full time until she's 1. When do they give up milk? So many questions I think I'm going to have to go to the weaning pages. I've no idea what I'm doing.