What am I doing wrong?!

[StepfauxWife]

DD2 is 8 weeks old and has never been a great sleeper. But I feel like things are deteriorating even further.

She only really sleeps when being held/in movement. It's not so much of an issue during the day as were often out and she's happy to sleep in the sling.

Evenings are a total war zone. She starts showing signs of tiredness at around 6:30. We have a bath, short massage and then into bed clothes. I dim the lights, turn on Ewan, swaddle and bounce on my birthing ball until she falls asleep. The moment I attempt to put her down, she wakes up. Then we descend into a farce of feeding, rocking, bouncing, until she passes out with exhaustion. This can go on for hours. It's really starting to get me down.

She wakes frequently in the night, usually every 2-3 hours. I'm exhausted and I'm so sad for DD1 who is not getting the best of me.

I'd love to be able to put her down sleepy but it doesn't work.

Any advice please? Or even just sympathy.

You're not doing anything wrong Your baby is in the 'fourth trimester', she's teeny tiny and just getting used to life outside the womb. Being put down goes against all her instincts for survival at this stage. Have you tried all the normal advice - warming the sheets, lining it with a Muslin that's been down your top, swaddling?

Yeah I totally gave up and we just went to bed with dd at this age. We then found a sleepyhead worked wonders

That's completely normal. Both mine woke every 3 hours for a feed until about 4-5 months. 8 weeks is nothing. It's hard but you get used to it.

Totally totally normal. Just need to ride it out. was your first a really good sleeper?

You're not doing anything wrong
She's still very young. At 8 weeks DS2 was sleeping on my lap of an evening till we went up to bed about 10pm. I know this would have been difficult if DS1,12 had been younger.
I think DS2 is quite a high needs baby. He loves to be held all the time and still feeds often at 9 months. He is getting better during the night but we've co slept since birth. It will get better.

Thanks for all the replies!

Yes DD1 was a much better sleeper so I'm a little thrown by this one. We have seen a marginal improvement by keeping her awake five to ten minutes longer during the day before attempting to get her to nap. She seems to be more tired and happier to go into her cot. A combination of a swaddle and a warmed up sleepyhead have helped. But it's not consistent and she often wakes after 20 minutes or so and needs re-settling.

I don't mind the night waking as I know they won't last forever!

You're not doing anything wrong and neither is she. 8 weeks is so little! Try not to see it as having to 'win' the battle to make her sleep, it won't be like this for long and I'm the meantime it's so much less stressful to just go with the flow and let routines form gradually.

Completely normal. Mine was still cluster feeding all evening at this age. Just go with it, keep her close and thank your lucky stars that your first was such an unusually good sleeper!