2 year old won't go to sleep alone

[honeyharris]

Hi,

Our 2 year old won't go to sleep without one of us in the room with him lying on the floor next to his cot. This didn't used to be a problem but now he is waking a couple of times each night, and it is taking longer for him to go to sleep. My husband was in his room from 7 till 9 tonight, every time he thought he was asleep and got up to leave DS would stand up and cry. If we leave the room even to go to the loo and come back he is crying uncontrollably, seeming very distressed. Have read up on it and it seems the 'gradual retreat' method is the way to go if you don't want to do controlled crying, has anyone tried it or have any other advice?

Sorry you've not had any takers with this - found you through a web search as we're having the same problem. He's nearly three and has essentially never gone to sleep on his own. We don't mind staying with him for a short while early in the night, but since the birth of DS2 he's taking long midday naps at nursery and stretching out the time we need to stay with him till 9:30 or later. It's unsustainable, but he's so thoroughly distressed when we leave him that we can't just 'get tough'. We need a gentle approach, but we need our nights back!

Yes, we're currently doing it with our 23 month old and it's going very well. Cot refusal and separation anxiety started after a holiday at Easter and required us to move into a bed, and having to stay in the room until he fell asleep. However in the last week we've been able to leave the room and he's fallen asleep on his own for the first time in 2 weeks, very happily. He's even putting himself back to sleep in the middle of the night as well, apart from last night which was a blip (I hope!), probably due to a massive thunderstorm we had last night.

First time in 2 months rather - not 2 weeks (that would have been great...!)