Baby has never fallen a sleep by himself

[Junosmum]

DS is 3.5 months old. He has never fallen asleep by himself- only on the boob or when rocked/ jogged about or in the sling.

He has 2/3 times fallen asleep in the car- he HATES the car and his pram, screaming until he's gagging, sweaty and inconsolable. If put down 'sleepy but awake' as advised he quickly becomes very distressed, similar to being in the car.

If not fully asleep he wakes immediately on being put down. And only sleeps on someone during the day.

We co-slept until around 8 weeks as he would only sleep nose to boob with me. He then started sleeping in his sleepyhead in the snuzpod, which he does most nights, sometimes having to come in with me around 5am (3-4 nights a week).

EBF, he was 4-5 times per night, but just feeds straight back to sleep so we are awake maybe 20 mins.

Questions:

how do I get him going off to sleep by himself?

Any way I can reduce the number of night wakings?

*wakes, not was

No advice for self settling as we are the same here. DS is mostly fed to sleep. He also used to hate the car seat and pushchair, he's almost 8 months now and is much better with those.
I'm not too worried as DS1 was the same and in time he grew out of it. I didn't need to do anything he just got better at going to sleep.
I really believe some babies just need more help to sleep. Some are wonderful sleepers from day 1 and others are awful for years. Putting DS1 or DS2 down sleepy but awake would just end up with them hysterical and distressed. I couldn't do it. I'm going with what gets the most sleep in the most peaceful way. DS1 is 12 now and has never had any sleep issues.

3.5 months is still so tiny. The only thing you can do is keep trying every now and again to see if they've learnt it, my 10 month old hasn't.

It's a developmental skill like walking or rolling though and can't really be taught so I subscribe to just waiting. This is a very good article or read

sarahockwell-smith.com/2014/06/30/self-settling-what-really-happens-when-you-teach-a-baby-to-self-soothe-to-sleep/

No real advice but we're the same here. DS is 15 weeks & he's almost always fed or rocked to sleep & will only sleep on me for daytime naps. Although yesterday I lay him down in the afternoon because I desperately needed a shower and left a white noise app playing. When I came out the shower he was sound asleep which has never happened before normally he gets upset being left alone. Ewan the dream sheep seems to help at night if he wakes up initially when going into his cot.

Like you DS was also up to feed 4-5 times a night but i couldn't take it much longer so the last two nights I've kept him up a bit later & that's made a big difference - he went down at 8.45pm last night & didn't wake for a feed til 3.45am - fed til 5 then went back down til 7. Hopefully a sign of things to come but I won't get excited just yet!