Daily nap routine - but how do you leave the house?!

[Shantotto]

Really trying to help my 7.5 month old sleep in the day a bit more. At the moment he is all over the place. I tried every 2/3 hours of wakefulness to get him to sleep. Boob, pram, a walk. It's not often it will work more than a very short cat nap. Even the sling doesn't work anymore. I cant settle him at night either.

He has a good routine at night but it still takes ages to sleep after. He relies on boob, but even this is very inconsistent. He doesn't have a dummy.

We are trying no cry sleep solution. I really want him to go to sleep on his own. The book suggests doing a day routine - for 8 weeks! All I can imagine is me being trapped in the house. I have anxiety and PND and going to groups and seeing friends saves me.

I can't see a way for him to sleep for 4 hours a day and I go to a group. My DP insists its the only way and we argue constantly.

I also want to try and teach him to self settle, I am trying the detach from boob and hold my finger to his chin but find it hard to time that right as his sucks don't really change. I can't see that will help him suddenly settle in his co sleeper cot without one of us. I do consleep but it doesn't make a difference really.

We're so stressed out and I can barely speak to DP I'm so upset about this and this thought I have of being chained to the house for two months!

Any ideas? I mean babies need to sleep but baby yoga is full every week! When do they do it?!

Baby sleeps for a short nap in the morning on the way to group 9-10 and big nap after lunch 12.30-2.30/3.00?

This won't be what you want to hear... But, until DS was over a year (maybe 13/14 months) we didn't leave the house at all in the morning. The first nap was the most important to get the day off to a good start!

You can find groups in the afternoon to go to, or go out for lunch etc. But do really try and get naps sorted. It may not take as long as you think and some of the battle is getting yourself into the routine.

Could you invite your friends over in the mornings for coffee etc?

Good luck!!!

Yeah I was thinking travelling to / from - but everything luckily or unluckily is very close to my house or he really wants to stay awake when we go out. He's so nosey.

I feel a bit of a loss really. I want DP to be able to get DS to sleep at night and worry about his napping later but he's adamant about day naps.

I know I'm being a bit melodramatic about it all. I just wish he would sleep better on the move. He's too busy looking at things now.

I guess any nap advice would be appreciated. I mean he was asleep tonight and he's woken a few times but back to sleep. What I really want is him to stay asleep. It can take an age to sleep when he wakes in the middle of the night.

Sorry now I'm just rambling!

Thanks Lucky. I think it's my MH issues at the moment stressing me out about it and that its so so hard to get him settled without boob it just seems a vision of awfulness right now. I have a really low supply so he has mostly formula so I do love how I can feed him to sleep but it takes forever and I really want to go out at night sometimes especially as I'll be moving away from my friends lately. And I want to get drunk! :D

I'm not going to lie, napping is really restricting my going out. She sleeps 9-10 and then 12-1 and 4 (very roughly) so I pop out in between. Although also need to do lunch too obviously. Often I stretch out the afternoon nap and put her down a bit later....

Nope I actually agree with your DP (sorry!). Sleep breeds sleep. If you get the days right the nights will begin to sort themselves too (err usually!).

Your DC sounds like my DS, you just need to work very hard at it, it's not easy I'm afraid. I started off with timed naps, every 2 hours, often patting to sleep and I used a womb noise app to encourage sleeping beyond one sleep cycle.

I didn't go out as DS wouldn't get a decent sleep if out, and he really needs it. It is honestly easier to structure your day around them just until it's sorted.

My DS now is just out in the cot, his music playing and off he goes. But I worked bloody hard to make that happen!

I'm sorry it's so hard but I promise, with perseverance, it gets better and actually, if you put the work in now, it shows longer term.

With DS 1 I organised meet ups with people around his naps. I found groups really awkward to work around so rarely did them.

Now DS1 is two years old, the morning groups work well for him, but poor DS2 (5mo) doesn't get to stay in and nap like DS1 got at that age! Not sure of the solution tbh.... I had a very grumpy and overtired baby this afternoon!

When you have more than one DC the baby just has to get used to napping on the go. You can't cancel the school run, groups and classes for older DC just because it's nap time.

In my experience, 1. Cat napping improves with age by itself, it's not something you can "fix", 2. Having naps at home doesn't correlate at all with a good night sleep. My best sleeper had all his naps in the pushchair because we were always out and about with his sister.

Also, it's not your dh who is stuck in all day getting depressed so you should have the final say imo.

Both of my dc have always been terrible at napping out and about but great in the cot (they both refused to feed to sleep and ds has always preferred being left alone to go to sleep. DD had to just learn to love it) With DD I think I did something like shush pat and a cot mobile. With ds, I would compromise - one half hearted nap in the pushchair (it would take longer to get him to sleep than he actually napped for) and then another nap at home. This way I at least go to go out and see other adults. With DD I relish every peaceful nap at home alone.

Thanks for your thoughts everyone! I'm trying to remove his boob sleep association, but he'll only sleep with that so I'm also nervous of getting him to nap more with boob but at the same time trying to reduce boob! I'm trying to get DP to see we should try some self settling techniques after his routine is done at night but he keeps focusing on removing boob association and naps. I'm not convinced removing it will suddenly make him happy enough to sleep by himself.

It seems to have a blown up into a big circular argument and we never argue. I guess we do need more sleep!

I'm by no means an expert so this is only my opinion, but it sounds like you're trying to tackle several things at the same time which I imagine is very stressful and exhausting.

I would work on things one at a time so that you aren't totally wiping yourself out, whatever is most crucial to you now and then working back.

I think your dh needs to realise that if it is you that is at home with the baby all day, then it really needs to be you who is deciding what to work on first as you know what impacts on day to day stuff the most. If you have pnd and anxiety this really needs to be taken into account, its not something that can be ignored or seen as a separate issue - it needs to be of prime consideration.

In terms of napping, my DD is 7 months and has 3 or 4, 20-40 min naps per day. They can be in car, in pram or cuddling me but she won't nap in her cot. I go out and about and encourage her to nap at the appropriate time wherever we are - sometimes she will, sometimes she won't and I have to then manage a grumpy baby. But I can't stay in for all her naps as I'd go stir crazy.

You need to find something that will work for you as well as for your baby, you also have a life to lead and need to feel happy.

Any reason why he doesn't have a dummy? They can be marvellous for helping the baby settle.

I wouldn't worry too much about the day time sleeping for now. If you want to go out, go out. If you had an older child to drop off/pick up you couldn't be chained to the house.

If he won't go to sleep out and about then try putting his buggy flat and hang a muslin from the hood so he can't see stuff. The boredom might send him to sleep

If DP needs to settle him to sleep you need to not get involved. As long as he isn't hungry then leave them to it for a bit. They can figure it out together.