Help with 9 month old?

[StarTravels]

I'm not sure if this is normal for a 9 month old, but going by others in my NCT group it's not. Can anyone help me?

Wakes: 5.30am + Milk
Breakfast: 8.30
Nap: 9-10.00
Milk: 10.30am
Lunch: 12
Nap: 2-3.30pm
Milk: 4pm
Dinner: 5.30pm
Bed: 7pm

Wakes: 10pm for Milk
Wakes 1am for no reason
Wakes 2am for Milk
Sometimes also wakes at 3.30am for no reason

Each time he naps he needs me to rock him. He won't sleep otherwise. When he wakes up for no reason, I need to rock him to sleep. This doesn't always work and if I'm tired I bring him into my room to sleep with me and often he goes straight to sleep. He will still keep waking though, so co-sleeping doesn't stop this.

During the day he doesn't drink much milk. He's drinking most milk at night. I don't know how this has happened and I don't know how to turn it around so he isn't feeding at night. The HV has said to me that I need to stop these feeds but I just don't know how. He will just cry constantly.

Whenever he wakes up, he wakes up crying. He never used to. He used to be a delight first thing in the morning when he woke at the very least. Now even then he wakes crying.

He starts getting very sleepy at 5pm so dinner is normally not great as he's too sleepy to eat. I think he's getting over tired, so I've tried introducing another nap. It probably helps him from being grumpy at dinner, but doesn't help with any of the other sleep problems.

He's crawling and pulling up to stand in his cot. Most of the times I find him moving around in his cot, or standing up screaming.

The worse thing is that he used to go to sleep after having milk and I didn't mind too much being woken just for a feed, but now he takes sometimes an hour each time to settle and i'm just shattered.

Does anyone have any advice?? I'm at a loss of what to do now and have been considering maybe a sleep consultant? Is this normal? If not, what have I done wrong?

I was quite relaxed with him when he was younger. I let him sleep when he was tired.. with me, in my bed at times, and he's only been in his own room for a month. We never had a routine, so maybe that's what's caused this.

I've never left him to cry, and I really don't want to do that, but I'm wondering if that's the only option. When he needs to sleep he will only sleep on me, rocking him, and he gets quite upset if I'm not there to do it so I feel like it's doing him no favours needing me to rock him each time either, as he gets quite distressed.

Have a look at the "what worked for me" thread in sleep. Started by a MNer called nectarina.
We followed that to teach my DD to self settle, without leaving her on her own. Yes she was upset but actually overall there was a lot less crying than when she couldn't get to sleep at all.
Night weaning is hard and I am still feeding once a night (also 9 months) but basically I am cutting down each feed gradually so she increases appetite in the day, not cold turkey!
If breastfed then cut down a minute or two each night (one feed at a time) or bottle fed, reduce
Bottle by an oz every 2 nights...
Good luck X

Thanks Nan0second, I've just read it and I will definitely give it a try! x

Go for it. Post in the thread for moral support too. It's helped us so much, even though we are still a work in progress!

Yes it is time to knock the rocking to sleep on the head. It doesn't look to me like he is getting enough sleep - I would keep that third nap perhaps. Can you not get him back to sleep at 0530?

Why do you think he is getting all his milk at night - distracted in the day? How are solids?

No he's bouncing about and awake at 5.30. He cries if I try to get him to sleep.

During the day he just refuses his bottles. If he does any any it's an oz at the most. He won't even have a bottle before bed. He's on three meals a day. Do you think I need to cut back the food and try to increase the milk? I just don't know how to get him to drink when he refuses.

No. Don't cut back on food. Continue to up it.
Milk in a sippy cup?

I'd preserve through a cry at 0530 (in fact I do!) And I'd consider night weaning too to force the issue.

I think the main thing you need to work on is breaking the rocking so sleep, and a decent night's sleep with no milk and self settling.

I'd probably go all and accept some upset but there are gentler methods