Reaching breaking point already

[rachndan]

Hi all

Our DD2 is one month old and a terrible sleeper at night. She sleeps fine in the day, maybe too much. But at night is worse.

During the day (at times) and most of the night she will only sleep on me. We can normally get her in her moses basket when she is fully flat out about 9pm and she will wake about 12am for a feed. But from then on it is a massive ballache. She will either not go to sleep, or only go to sleep on me or just constantly whinge, fidget and cry whether on me or not - although will cry even louder if not on me. I cant / dont want her crying for too long as I have DD1 to think of.

DD1 was a poor sleeper but nothing compared to this devil child.

She rarely takes a dummy, we try to swaddle her but that only works if she is totally sparked out.

Any advice? I am sure this is a lot better than some situations but one month ago (pre-baby) we had lovely 9-10 hour sleeping sessions so this is a killer, a lot harder than we remember than with DD1.

Do you breastfeed? Would she take a bottle of expressed milk so you and dp could take it in shifts?
It's hard when they won't sleep

She is bottle fed but my partner helps a lot, he makes all the bottles at night and as she is a noisy feeder and suffers with silent reflux we are both awake for feeds anyway so even if he did them I wouldnt be able to sleep anyway.

Just to say you're not alone - same thing happening here (although we can't even manage the 9pm-12 stretch)! I'm sure someone here will be able to offer some advice

This is exactly like my 5 week old DD, usually its hard to get her back to sleep so she ends up asleep on me which means i dont get a great sleep. Or if i do get her to sleep she wakes up when she goes in her basket. So frustrating!

Does she ever sleep laying flat?/ DS would never sleep flat so I gave up and had him sleep in his bouncey chair thing, vibration on donxt think you're supposed to though.
I did the bottle every 4 hours thing, because I thought it was an actual rule as it's what the midwife said to do, which I think helped him sleep longer stretches sooner.
Is there anywhere she will sleep? Pram if you push her around the house to fall asleep?

I'm sorry you're having to go through this, it really is awful. At our weeks DD2 won't know her arse from her elbow so will need encouragement to distinguish night and day.
Things that helped me:

1. no nappy changed at night (unless absolutely required, little poops can wait.

2. Dim or no lights

3. feed like crazy in the day, although mine is bf, not sure if there are rules with bottles regarding how much and when. Although I'd just bottle feed as much as possible anyway.

Hth

Oh have you tried getting a gazzilion hour long white noise clip up on YouTube, I remember playing white noise at DS like a crazy woman, but it worked!

We have a white noise machine which is on all night.

She sleeps best (other than on me) in her car seat, so when we come home after being out we bring her in in that and leave her to sleep.

When are you supposed to assist them in distinguishing between night and day?

Thanks

It's the reflux.
They are really uncomfortable led flat.
Buy a wedge from Amazon which goes under her mattress.
Is she having meds for reflux?
Cool boiled water off a spoon after feed to wash away the milk.
Hold her upright for as long as poss after a feed. We had a telly put upstairs to watch while we held her.
She occasionally slept in her swing in our room

It is hard, she's very tiny and wants to be close to you for safety and reassurance. Get dp to take her for a while after work so you can have a nap, relax in the bath.

It does get easier. But it's very early days at the moment. Easy for me to say (and was very difficult for me to appreciate at the time) but try to relax and enjoy those sleepy cuddles, they won't last long.

Our dd became very nocturnal when we came home from hospital (she was prem and in nicu), she would wake all night and sleep all day, so we went back to the routine she had in hospital of waking her every 3 hours to feed in the day, which in turn encouraged her to sleep at night.

I would encourage you to chat with you hv, to see if they can offer any practical help. Good luck op.

Got the HV on Thursday and a follow up docs appointment in a week to discuss reflux. She is currently on ranitidine for the reflux.

Yes we keep her upright for about half hour after feeds and have inclined head end of moses basket.

Shes just never happy when awake (unless feeding).

No advice (DD is 8 months and still a terrible sleeper so I clearly am not in the position to give advice!) but it will pass. My DD is the exception, the majority of babies seem to get their act together with slurping by the first 3 months. Just do what you need to do to get through the day and night, sleep when you can, ask for help and try to be good to yourself. It feels like a long time when you're in it but it will pass.

Lots of reflux babies actually have a problem with dairy so she might just be really uncomfortable. My son's reflux stopped within 48 hours of using neutramigen rather than normal formula.

You can start having day as light/active and night as quiet/dark from day one, but it takes weeks to work. Get outside every day in the morning if you can. Regular daylight helps to develop their circadian rhythms- but these dont fully establish until 12 weeks or so when melatonin production starts. They tune to your rhythms in the womb then that's broken at birth and they have to build their own rhythms

Keep night feeds quiet and boring - comfort and cuddle as needed but don't play or stimulate them (so little eye contact.) keep night dark - get a dim lamp for feeds.

Lucy101101 she has been on nutramigen for 3.5 weeks and no difference. Ranitidine dose has been trebled as of yesterday following an early morning a&e visit. Been told to see how she goes on new dose and if no better in a few weeks then they will add 2 more meds to go with ranitidine.

Thanks all for your support.

Your DD is still a newborn who has been taken from the cosy comfy womb to big bad outside world. All she wants is her mummy for comfort.

My DD was breastfed and was like this for a good nine months, although nighttime got lots better at six months when I night weaned her. As others have said, it will get easier but please remember that she is still a newborn.