Naps, breast feeding to sleep, my sons sleep Ida mess and so am I

[KitKat36]

Hi I'm mum to a lovely four month old who will not nap. I mean fights it beyond all sense.

I can get him sleep anywhere but on me or in a moving pram. I can't get him to settle even if I'm there reassuring him. On Monday in the presence of a sleep consultant he cried for 65 minutes with me there patting him.

I've breastfed him to sleep which no longer works so it's my own stupid fault, I walked 11 miles yesterday and he barely slept in the pram.

My husband is sticking his head in the sand and saying we just carry on. Health visitor reassured me it's a difficult stage of development, GP wants to treat me for depression but stress bout his sleep is the thing making me miserable.

None of the following work:

Rocking
Patting
Shushing

Can anyone help? Why am I so crap at this?

Have you tried a bouncy chair and a dummy?

Something like the Fisher Price Bouncer (but remove the play arch) - see the metal shaped bottom? So you sit yourself on the sofa with the bouncer in front of you, baby in it, play arch removed, dummy in babys mouth and you put your feet on the two metal legs and bounce bounce bounce.

Reinsert dummy as needed. Then just keep bounce, bounce, bounce bouncing that baby into sleep submission. Just. Keep. Going.

Movement helps babies get to sleep - the bouncing
Sucking helps babies to get to sleep - the dummy

Also - watch awake time. Try to have baby back to sleep within 60-80 minutes of last waking up. If it takes you a long time to get baby to sleep then it might mean baby waking, being fed, nappy check and then after a short 20 minute cuddle that you are straight back to getting baby back to sleep.

We have a very similar bouncer so will try that. He won't take a dummy and we've tried hard.

I'd work hard at the dummy, they are worth their weight in gold as a no-crying sleep aid.

Sleepyhead? It is a big sleep regression so hang in there - it's 'just' a phase. Hope you're ok - do look after yourself and get as much help as you can - you can't pour from an empty cup

Have you tried tummy sleeping?

Have you tried cherry dummies? www.toysrus.co.uk/babiesrus/tommee-tippee-cherry-soother-0-6-months-2-pack/0076182

You are not crap at this! Your baby is just going through a rough phase - you aren't causing it.

At 4 months mine would still only nap being held. Cot, pram, car seat, bouncy chair, Moses basket - I tried them all repeatedly and none of them worked. So I really, really get your frustration. It reduced me to tears many a time.

What ended up helping me the most in the end was just going with it rather than fighting it. So she slept in the sling, and I told myself she'd grow out of it in time. (And she did!) My life got a lot less stressful, and my baby got a lot more sleep, once I switched focus to "I don't care where she naps as long as she's napping." It wasn't ideal, but it was a hell of a lot better for us than fighting over every nap.