8 and 3 year old waking in the night

[Feellikerubbish]

I have an 8 year old who still requires me to lay next to him or least sit by his bed until he falls asleep. Most nights he sleeps through, occasionally he wakes in the night and would need me to stay by his side until he falls back to sleep.

He was a child who woke a lot and after trying all methods including control crying when he was younger, I gave up. Knowing 95 per cent of nights he sleeps through and only needs me to stay with him for 10 mins while he falls asleep was fine by me.

While my point of view is that one day he will grow out of it and no longer need me as most adults don't need their mums to fall asleep! His fathers opinion is different to mine and reckon he should go to sleep by himself. We have tried reward chart but that didn't help and was wondering if any one has any advice? My son is very grumpy during the day if he doesn't sleep well so leaving him to go sleep by himself at night, he will most likely stay up until very late!

My daughter who is 3 rarely sleeps through the night. She would wake up between 12 and 3am and I end up sleeping in her bed with her for the rest of the night to give my partner space and so that he doesn't get disturbed. But now he is getting increasingly frustrated that she wakes in the night and thinks she should sleep through the night and that me sleeping with her is what's caused this.

The problem is I am so so tired in the night, I don't have the energy to get on with the day if I don't sleep properly during the night.

Reward chart didn't work with her either. Any advice or suggestions as I would like to help her sleep through!

Thanks

I think I'd start with getting the 8 year old to learn to sleep alone. It's essentially a comfort to have you there so you need to replace the comfort with something else. A teddy or favourite toy that he can take to bed.

It should be easy enough to explain to the 8 year old that you'll read him a story but then you're going to leave the room and leave him with his teddy/book/toy, a drink and that you'll only be downstairs.

With the 3 year old is start by explaining that she's a big girl now, she has to sleep in her bed alone etc, same thing give her a comforter.

When she wakes at night first time go in lie her down say 'it's bedtime now good night ', second time just lie her down but no talking to her because it's sleep time, and repeat