Waking at 4.30 every day for months!

[4kidssteph]

So my youngest DD is 22 months old.. (I also have a 12 year old, 10 year old and 12 week old who she shares a a room with) ... About a year ago when the clocks changed in spring her normal 6.30 wake up changed to 5.30 and I've never managed to get it back to normal! We've tried all the techniques, but struggle with consistency as her room is part of our room with just a partition wall dividing us with no door , but a gate on. No matter what angle we try she just gets up sees us in bed and screams the house down till one of us gets her up... We're exhausted and it's effecting our marriage ( lots of arguments etc). She also refuses to nap during the day... If I try it's just screaming for hours! I'm seriously at my wits end.. It makes things doubly difficult at the moment as she is waking her 12 week old brother who has just started going through!so worried that she is going to get him into bad habits as well. We've tried letting her crying it out, keep putting her back in bed and leaving then repeating... We've bought a gro clock.. And tonight we are trying white noise as the last few weeks the waking starts between 3.30 and 4.30!!! PLEASE HELP!!!!

Can you block her view with a curtain across the door?

Thanks for the quick reply!... I've thought about it, but she's in a bed now rather than a cot so think she'll just pull it to one side! The plan is to put a door in, but time and money are factors.

Well the white noise didn't work! Up at 4.30 AGAIN!! Just don't know what to do 😭😴

My DD is the same age and wakes between 3:30 and 4:30 too. I have no ideas as we've tried everything we can think of but you have my sympathy

Send her round mine... I am up at that time normally :)

My dd is the same, am at the end of my tether as she also wakes for a feed in the night still. I am wavering between paying someone to tell me what to do and just accepting it's a phase. Sympathy op!

If you've tried things like wake to sleep I'm not sure there's much else you can do until a door can go in. Presumably just returning her and telling her it's still night time won't work?
You have my sympathy. That must be awful.

We have had spates of this. Ds is 2.1.

The only thing that reliabily works is exhausting him during the day with really physical activity. So soft play for a couple of hours, time in the park, nursery etc.

I appreciate with a tiny one too this can be difficult. The other thing to consider is she probably has her molars coming through and there is a sleep regression around now.

Will she go back to sleep if she gets I with you? Ds sometimes did. Though we had a 5am start today and he was having none of it.

I have lots of early nights to compensate. And your dp needs to be on your side too. It is difficult when everyone is tired I know. Ds also sleeps much better without a sleep in the day but sometimes it can't be helped if we are out in the car at the wrong time.

I think the wake to sleep tactic is the only thing I haven't tried! She goes to bed in the evening perfectly ( about 6.30pm) and has a wonderful bedtime routine with no troubles at all.... She point blank refuses to nap during the day .. So she's only getting about 9-10 hours in a day, so know she must be knackered, but my good god this girl is strong willed... Never known anything like it.. (And I've worked in a preschool for the last 6 years, so know exactly how stubborn some of them can be!!) .. I think just need a bloody door!

Possibly if she is tired on 9-10 hours per night she is waking early as she is overtired.

It may be worth putting her to bed earlier for a few days to catch her up.

Ime unless she only needs 9-10 hours of sleep she is unlikely to wake any earlier. She may continue to wake at 4.30am.... but will become more rested, then you can start to push her bedtime out a little.

Well last night was a bit more of a success... Put DD to bed at 5.30 rather than 6.30... Have stuck with the white noise as it seemed to help her baby brother sleep through her noise, but got rid of the gro clock as I think she was waking then staying up to watch it change! We've simplified everything down (as it's become quite a 'big deal' if you know what I mean!). I asked DH to not get envolved as we have a different approach and I think it confuses things and got rid of any night light. She slept till 4.10am (I thought oh shit!) but put her back in her bed just saying its night time it's time to sleep. ..... And she went back off, with no fuss! Only till 5.15, but I kept putting her back in her bed with no verbal discussions. I'm not gonna lie.. There was some crying, but not the crazy screaming fit we usually have for hours! This carried on for half an hour and I got her up when her brother woke at quarter to 6. So gonna do the same for the next week then bring her bedtime back gradually to the normal time of 6.30. Fingers crossed it works.... I gotta keep I consistant! X

My LO is only 9 weeks and I'm currently sleep-training so can't offer any advice but didn't want to read and leave so do want to give support - sounds like you are doing SO WELL with your continuing perseverance. Try and celebrate even the smallest of breakthroughs (with your DH so he's involved too) and once you've cracked it you'll feel all the more proud for having done it.

I fucking give up! Since my last update, I've had only 2 mornings where she slept past 5am and this morning it was an eye watering 3.30am wake up call and 1 1/2 hours of screaming and returning her to her bed resulting in my 3 month old waking for his bottle and having to get them both up anyway, DH and I having a blazing row about who's had more sleep ( stupid I know!) and waking the whole house! I'm just soo exhausted.... I've stayed consistent .. I'm broken this morning!

OP bedtime sounds way too early, maybe you could try pushing it later by 15 mins each night and see if that makes a difference?

Could your toddler swap rooms with an older dc so that the issue of seeing you from her bed is sorted?

Sophia you really shouldn't sleep train until at least 6 months old. You'll achieve very little and upset your baby!

If she has a nap in the day make it later on or drop it altogether.

If you just grab her the minute she wakes and scoop her into bed with you does she go back to sleep?

She was only going to bed at 5.30 for a couple of nights to try and catch her up on some sleep.. We've gradually put it back to 6.30-7ish. She refuses to nap during they day so I literally get no respite at all! If she does occasionally nap she drops on the sofa. On the weary mornings in the past I've tried her in bed with us, just so we can be human, but she won't sleep!

OP I feel your pain. It is not to be underestimated how awful constant early starts are. We had about 9 months of 3.30/4.30 starts from DD when she was about 15 months until nearly two years.

I'm not sure if just a phase and given your room set up is tricky, but what worked for us:

• Once in own room and own bed, and no longer BF at night she improved a lot
• Naps were key. In our case we were putting her down way too early so she just saw them as an extended night. I think you said your DD doesn't nap do I think I'd introduced one to see if she is overtired.
• Agree with PP re moving bedtime back. DD now lights out 7.30, asleep by 8. Annoying to lose evening time but I'd rather that than hideous early starts.
• Temperature important. DD always gets cold but hates covers. So easier in summer when could just be in vest. Could cold be waking her?
• Finally, can you share turns at lie in with DP? Hard with more than one I imagine. Even odd weekend can stop it feeling like you can't go on.

Good luck.

Yes, I meant 6.30 is too early. My ds bedtime is 8pm and he never wakes up before 6am (unless he's ill).