Jekyll & Hyde baby!

[pickleandflux]

Me and DH are at our wits end with lack of sleep. DD is 10 days old, and although she is good at being put down to sleep in the daytime, she is like a different baby at night. At night she will only sleep if being held, even though she will happily lie and sleep in her bassinet in the day. We are trying to snooze in the day but it's really not practical or sustainable. Any tips or do we just need to give time for it to pass?

You just need to ride it out. Your LO is still new born so will need that contact with you.

Sleeping patterns are constantly changing due to many things.

My DD was like this for naps until 9 months and only started sleeping through the night properly at around 6/7 months when I weaned her from night feeds.

It's still VERY early days so you both just need to take turns doing night time duties and sleep when you can.

At 10 days old just go with the flow, do whatever your baby needs as soon as your baby needs it, using any means possible.

Worth bearing in mind that at this tiny age babies just eat and sleep and there should be minimal awake time between sleeps 24 hours a day.

Your 'routine' (I use the word loosely) will be as simple as:
Wake
Full feed
Check nappy, change if needed
Offer more milk to make sure tummy is full
Cuddle while gently winding
Sleep (might be a short nap, might be a long sleep)
Repeat, repeat, repeat 24 hours a day

As you can see, very little awake time for actually interacting with baby at this age. Almost all awake time is when feeding or changing nappy. So try to avoid keeping baby awake too long be ause this can cause significant sleep issues when overtiredness develops.

If baby is already getting lots of sleep and limited awake time through the daytime, you could try established techniques for developing the feeling of calm security needed to help baby sleep - swaddle, dummy, rocking

10 day old babies don't know night and day. Yes it's exhausting but completely normal. Go with the flow. Sleep when she sleeps. It does get easier. Xx

We are trying to snooze in the day but it's really not practical or sustainable

Why not? Do you not have any maternity leave?

It's not about snoozing in the daytime, you may well need bull blown sleep. Upstairs, in bed, black out blinds and/or eye mask. Add baby so you can nap together or while DP is off with you add earplugs and take turns sleeping and minding baby.

Full blown... Not bull blown!

The only thing I would add to Fate's very sensible advice (as always Fate ) is to google the fourth trimester. It helped me understand how the baby needs to be close to you. Enjoy snuggling up close to your new baby.

It gets better! Mine is 6 weeks now and slept from 11.30pm-4.30am last night, had a change/feed and he's still sleeping now. BUT he was like your DD at first. In fact, he still sleeps most of the mornings, but I can't really get him down for the night until after 11, even if I take him upstairs at 9. It changes all the time.

Anyway, they don't really know night and day and the fact it's dark a lot and wintertime doesn't help. So:

• really try to have a nap in the day. I'm not really a day napper but still went to bed sometimes and sometimes I bagged an extra hour. The only reason this should be impractical is if you have another child. If you have guests they will have to understand.
• I stopped using the Moses basket as DS hated it. He is now in a sleepyhead next to me and husband is in the spare room. It's not forever and also enables us to sleep in shifts. Sometimes I feed DS and go to spare room for the first stint and leave husband to settle him (bouncing on birth ball - works for him). When DS wakes for a feed I've had a good 3-4 hours' kip and then we swap over. I feed and settle and husband goes to spare room for a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. (Now sleep is better I'm mainly with the baby all night as we also have an early rising toddler).
• Express or get husband to give bottle and go straight to bed. Or maybe wait for another week or two as yours is so young. I went out - briefly - for an evening just before xmas when DS was four weeks as I'd left husband with 2 feeds' worth of expressed milk. It made me feel like part of the outside world again.
• Try to get outside during the day. Even if it's grey and DD sleeps she will still be getting vitamin D and fresh air.

Good luck! Xx