Toddler and baby sleep patterns out of sync - anything I can do??

[SouthernComforter]

2.5yo DS1sleeps soundly but is an early riser. At times this has been as early as 5am although now he generally makes it to 6. However, his sleep (and behaviour in general) has been a bit more challenging since the arrival of DS2 six weeks ago.

DS2 often doesn't really settle until between 11 and midnight, never if I take him upstairs at 9. He'll then feed between 3 and 4am but take an hour to settle. Then he sometimes wakes around 6 but sometimes will go until 8 if allowed. However my toddler rarely lets him go undisturbed.

Today DS1 woke up at 5.20. I had feed the baby at 4 and gone back to bed at 4.40. Husband took DS1 to spare room, where he often keeps him quiet (and in bed) by letting him watch Peppa on his phone. Is this part of the problem? I know husband is knacker and takes the brunt of the early mornings. I'm also knackered. I know we might have to bite the bullet and do some sleep training with DS1 (cotbed sides up, stairgate on door etc) but it's so hard to gear up for it when you're this tired.

I really hate that husband uses screen in bed, and that I currently use the tv to entertainto toddler during the morning routine, feeding baby and other crunch points with the two of them. Any advice on how to stretch toddler morning sleep? And how to raise screen issue with tired husband?

DS1 may well escape a cot if he doesn't want to be in there. Both mine climbed out before 2yrs old.
I think trying to stretch DS1s mornings (later nights??? We only managed this when we moved everything later, so if it was breakfast 6, lunch 12, dinner 5, bed 7, we only got a later start by making food at 7, 1, 6, and bed at 8). DS2 will start going to sleep earlier with time, and if you can do both, hopefully you will be getting more sleep soon.
Don't stress about screen time ATM. Survival is key for the next 6 weeks or so. I have 2 yrs between my boys, and it is lovely to watch them together at 6y and 4y. The benifit of a sibling will early over ride a couple of months of excessive screens.

Stock up on Red Bull and flapjack, then grin and bear it. Possibly for a few years.

At 6 weeks old it's really too young to be thinking long term about sibling habits. Loads about your ds2s sleeping habits will change over the coming months, then change again and change again.

For now, just do what you have to do to manage.

Longer term, it will be baby who learns to fit in with the family routine rather than the other way around. If big brother is usually up early, chances are youngest will be women anyway so will slot in that way.

I have four children and as a result of always having one waking another (even tho they have separate bedrooms), we have just naturally developed into a household of early risers.