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Sleep

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Original poster

6 week old and naps?

34 replies

lilwelshyrs · 21/12/2015 21:28

Hi all,

My DS is 6 weeks old and rubbish at napping in the daytime. He settles really well in the evenings from about 9:30pm and will usually stay asleep in his MB until 2am... Sometimes until 5/6am!

But daytimes he's rubbish! After a nappy change and a lovely long feed, he's suitably sleepy and starting to doze off in my arms. I try to then settle him in the MB and he just wakes up and lies there gurgling, arms and legs flailing! I try rocking his MB or just ignoring him, but eventually he just gets pissed off and I pick him back up again.

He will happily fall sound asleep on me for hours, but as soon as I try to relocate him, he's wide awake!

I really don't mind holding him - I love it as I know he won't want me holding him forever, but I need to cook and eat lunch and dinner! DH does all the food stuff when he's at home but his working days are 15 hours so he can't cook all the time. He does prep lunch and dinner for me, but I still have to microwave/eat it

Any tips or should I just sit back and enjoy these tiny baby snuggles?!

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TheSecondViola · 21/12/2015 21:30

Get a decent sling and you can hold him and do everything else as well.

FATEdestiny · 21/12/2015 21:32

A bouncy chair is great for daytime naps.

Ughnotagain · 21/12/2015 21:33

He's not rubbish, he's 6 weeks old. Of course he wants to be close to you, it's where he'll feel safest.

Definitely get a sling. Let him nap in there.

Curlywurly4 · 21/12/2015 21:34

Second a sling. A good one and you can crack on. 6 weeks is very young still.

Ughnotagain · 21/12/2015 21:34

Oh, and if it's any consolation, my 7 month old still naps on me!

Original poster

lilwelshyrs · 21/12/2015 21:39

Only daytime naps are rubbish... He's fantastic and makes me laugh a lot :)

Ah yes, we do have a sling. It's a Moby wrap. Will give that a try tomorrow when DH is at work. He gets pretty hot in it though (DS not DH).

We have a bouncy chair, but I'm scared to let him sleep in that coz of the SIDs

OP posts:

FATEdestiny · 21/12/2015 21:57

As long as you don't leave him unattended, fine to sleep in a bouncy chair. In fact they are absolutely fantastic if you are a either a Mum of many (I have four DC) so other children need you, or if you are a Mum who like some time and space away from baby when they sleep.

Original poster

lilwelshyrs · 21/12/2015 22:02

Ah, that's good to know :) thanks!
No other DCs, just a pooch but he doesnt take much notice of DS and I dont leave them unattended together, ever!

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poocatcherchampion · 21/12/2015 22:15

What they said. Also if you go for a nice walk thry sometimes stay asleep for a spell on your return in the pram.

As per previous, I've got 2 others atvhome so this little one has to sit in his bouncy chair a bit so we can eat/have wiped bottoms/lids off felt pens etc. Sometimes he winged, sometimes he crys. Cest LA vie.

Original poster

lilwelshyrs · 21/12/2015 22:18

He went for a walk with DH and pooch this morning in the sling... I believe he stayed asleep for a bit after that. I find that his sleeps in the pram/car seat are "false"? Like he's only asleep because of the motion and it's not a deep sleep as when we stop, he wakes up... That's normal, too, right?

OP posts:

FATEdestiny · 21/12/2015 22:24

The usual MN narrative is to recommend a sling in these types of threads (or a better sling than the one you have if already using a sling).

A slings meets the need that a very young baby likes movement to get to sleep - Mums often walk baby, jiggle, rock, dance - generally move baby around and they fall asleep in the sling.

A bouncy chair meets exactly the same need for movement to get to sleep when tiny. I also make the recommendation because many, many Mums like to have time and space to themselves at some point during the day. For whatever reason.

Equally in some babies it is not the movement that gets them to sleep, it is the security. These type of babies like the closeness of being carried in a sling to give security. These types of babies often also like a swaddle blanket to give that save tight, cuddled feeling so will usually sleep with a full tummy and swaddle in their cot.

Point is you don't have to be strapped to your baby at all times in order for your baby to go to sleep. If you want to, that's great. But you don't have to.

FATEdestiny · 21/12/2015 22:32

Like he's only asleep because of the motion and it's not a deep sleep as when we stop

6 short weeks ago your baby was in constant motion while in your uterus as you went about your day. He was also in a small, tight space. These are the basic biological reasons why babies naturally like movement to sleep and light that tight, secure feeling of a swaddle or being held.

There is one additional biological source of comfort on top of movement and tight security, and that is sucking. Suckling naturally gives baby a feeling of comfort and security which is why many babies suck to get to sleep - either feeding to sleep, comfort breastfeeding to sleep or independently with a dummy.

Movement, security and sucking are all natural things with biological explanations that sooth a young baby. Gradually and slowly over time baby will become less reliant on them and will find different ways to gain the comfort and security needed to go to sleep. For now, baby knows no different.

FATEdestiny · 21/12/2015 22:34

Correction:

These are the basic biological reasons why babies naturally like movement to sleep and light like that tight, secure feeling of a swaddle or being held

Original poster

lilwelshyrs · 21/12/2015 22:36

Thank you, Fate :)
DS does kinda like to be swaddled actually (although my HV says they don't advocate swaddling anymore ). Whilst DH settles him for night time, he gently holds his arms so they don't flail about and wake himself up! We can't swaddle much as DS seems to get too warm really easily, but it worked a treat in the first few weeks :)

I guess I'm worried that because he likes to be in my arms for sleeping (which i love), that I'll have a 4 year old who won't sleep unless they're in my arms/bed!

OP posts:

FATEdestiny · 21/12/2015 22:47

Why would your HV say that? The Lullaby Trust is the definitive voice of SIDS risk and they don't advise against swaddling. Neither do the NHS. Some HV make me sigh at their lack of knowledge, sadly.

Original poster

lilwelshyrs · 21/12/2015 22:55

I don't know... she didn't give a reason. I will bring it up next time though and find out.
From the threads I've been reading over my pregnancy and up 'til now, HVs seem to regularly come out with some amazing shyte. She told me to leave DS to cry so he can learn to self soothe... I lasted about a minute before I burst into tears and picked him up and cuddled him. Have never let him cry since! He must have been two weeks old at that point :(

OP posts:

Ughnotagain · 21/12/2015 23:01

She told you to leave a 6 week old to self settle?! that's awful!

Ughnotagain · 21/12/2015 23:02

Oh shit, re-read that... two weeks?! Fucking hell. That's worrying.

Original poster

lilwelshyrs · 21/12/2015 23:06

:(
At least I know I don't have to do that at all, ever, if I don't want to! Our post natal help seems pretty bad round here. I had a horrible experience in hospital and have just felt like I havent been shown or told anything. Thank goodness for the internet and my Miriam Stoppard book! We learnt how to bathe DS properly, do his nappy, his long poo gaps using the book and internet. No one showed us how to do any of that!
I'm currently writing a complaint to my hospital as no one showed me how to breast feed for hours after DS was born (ECS) and he ended up in SCBU with low blood sugar levels. Plus other issues, but that's a whole other post!

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FATEdestiny · 21/12/2015 23:08

Goodness me. Ask for a different HV. Or just stop seeing the HV completely if she is useless.

HeiressesGiltnor · 21/12/2015 23:10

My DS is now 15months and he's a great overnight sleeper but he's always struggled in the day. Some babies do.

fate makes some excellent points I really agree with. I never got on with a sling. I either accepted he'd sleep on me - we often co slept in bed together for naps (extra sleep for you!) and I would use the swing of the bouncy chair. I would sit and read or drink tea whilst bouncing him with my foot. Preparation is key, get everything ready to sit down and relax whilst baby snoozes and you bounce!

My DS was swaddled until he quite old, at least 5 months old. He really needed it, it kept him calm and he had a strong startle reflex. He was slow to roll and crawl so it was quite safe. Honestly, if it helps, do it. In a few months he'll have grown up and have a new set of sleeping skills.

Can't believe that the HV suggested you leave the poor bean to cry. We successfully taught my DS to 'self' settle when he was about 4/5mo old with mount leaving him alone at all and always comforting him when he cried.

Time and patience will see you through

Original poster

lilwelshyrs · 21/12/2015 23:14

I will definitely try the bouncer tomorrow :) It might mean I can actually try to do some cross stitch (which i started just before DS was born with the intent to do it whilst he slept...! How niave of me haha) or fuss the dog a little bit :)

OP posts:

Original poster

lilwelshyrs · 21/12/2015 23:15

Oh and how do I get a new HV? She's supposed to see us through until he's 5? Is that everywhere?

OP posts:

FATEdestiny · 21/12/2015 23:26

The medical centre where my HV are based has a team of about 4 or 5 HV. You can just ask to see someone else when booking an appointment. I suppose it depends on how many HV in your area.

You realised you done have to see a HV at all?

They are there so that parents have a HCP they can go to with questions about their young child (up to 5 years old) without needing to see a GP or practice nurse. Basically the point of a HV is to free up time in a GP surgery from 'worried well' parents of babies.

Just as you don't have to see your GP and you might go years without seeing your doctor (if your my husband you might, I think he went 8 years without ever going to the GP surgery at one time), you also done have to see your HV. They are there as a support to you if you want to talk to someone and get advise, but it isn't necessary.

You are offered development checks with HV for your baby, but these are not necessary if you are happy with baby's development. You are offered weigh-ins with a HV, but again not necessary if you are happy with baby's weight gain. Then the HV can offer general advise, but not necessary if you don't need the advise, agree with the advise or if the quality of the advise is poor. You can just decide not to bother going or asking for advise.

CheeseGrater · 21/12/2015 23:27

I remember posting a similar thing when DD1 was 7 weeks old. She was rubbish at naps (though ok at night) until she was 9 months and we went on holiday and had the time to get her into a routine of 1.5hrs in the morning and 1.5hrs after breakfast.

DD2 is/was crap too until she was about 12mths. Her first 3 months were spent sleeping on me in the sling. After that we progressed to the buggy but it would take ages of rocking her in it.

Neither of mine ever had naps in the cot - always the buggy, or the car seat. I've spent what must amount to weeks walking or driving around town trying to get them to sleep.

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't worry. All the books will tell you to eliminate props (you, rocking, swinging) and teach them to self-settle by leaving them to fall asleep on their own but IME they just do it when they are ready. DD2 (17mths) still naps in the buggy now but I put her in and she goes off on her own after a couple of minutes.

Consistency is v important, but most of all, don't get het up about it. I spent hours with DD1 trying all sorts of shushing methods, different wind down routines, and tested different awake times and looked for her sleepy cues and spent many a frustrating hour insisting she would go for a nap in the cot. In the end, the buggy worked best for us, she got used to it and it became our thing. Now she's 4 it doesn't matter one jot how I got her to sleep when she was teeny.

You'll know when you need to change something - trust your instinct.

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