Sleepless of Mumsnet - join us if your LO consistently laughs in the face of sleep!

[Purpleboa]

Hi everyone. I thought I'd create this thread when I saw that there were quite a few of us lingering on the 4 month regression thread, with babies that clearly didn't get the memo about things getting better!

I've seen another thread for parents whose children are long term poor sleepers but I think it's been relegated to zombie status. So I hope nobody minds if I start another one! If your LO consistently struggles to sleep, whether it's down to diet, night terrors or just sheer bloody mindedness, please pull up an armchair and join in! I'll supply the espressos, hugs and chocolate, wine and tears served after 4pm.

I'll start: my DD is 25 weeks. She's gorgeous, adorable and the absolute light of my life. Unless it's between the hours of 7pm and 7am! She's struggled with sleep always. I thought things would improve following the 'fourth trimester' but she got a cold, reacted badly to her jabs...and before I knew it we'd cruised into the 4 month regression. Which she's either still in, or she's teething, or developing, or wonder weeking, or fck knows really!

The past two weeks have been particularly painful and I feel I'm reaching the limits of my endurance. I love being her mum, I love spending time with her...but not sleeping makes it oh so very hard.

I have found Mumsnet to be a wonderful source of support during those dark and lonely hours when you feel like you're the only person in the world going through this. So I wanted to give back and support others too.

I'll put the kettle on...

Thank god for grandparents who've now taken over do I can go to bed. Been up all night rocking poor dd in her pram. Hope she gets better soon

Think hope dd is ok. Seems everyone has a cold

Absolutely shocking night here again. Ds is refusing to nap at all aswell and is so tired he's just screaming. Feeling really down again. I could just cry.

He's meant to be going to his soft play group today but I don't know whether to take him, he loves it and occasionally will sleep after but he's so tired

Dd is fine - just grumpy and full of cold

I'm feeling v low. Dh is on nights so can't help. Dreading how I'll cope when I'm back at work - have a very full on job and feeling like my maternity leave has been wasted

Hello new posters!

zombie sounds so tough. .. hugs. Did you make it to soft play?

think - i have often thought the same re mat leave but my DH made a good point in that employers wouldnt grant up to 12 months mat leave if it was a gonna be a breeze. Looking at it that way made me feel better anyway!

We had 3 wake ups with DS2 and 2 with DS1 who took to screaming until DH cuddled him back to sleep. Dunno what's up with him he's always been very good at settling himself. Oh well another bloody phase I suppose!

DS2 is very windy at night and I'm so paranoid he's allergic to more stuff. Is it normal for him just to be windy say from eating loads of veg as opposed to him having an intolerance? His nappies are all ok...

Hope you're Ok Think. That does sound rough. When is it you're back at work? So many colds going round!

Hugs Zombie. Did you go to soft play? Hope it helped if so. My DD either has epic naps after activity, or stays awake for hours. Never a guarantee! And as for people saying swimming makes them sleep, I say a big fat HAH!

Well, proud of myself today. Despite a bad night of insomnia and baby only settling on me, I still managed to do a morning at work, attend a team meeting, meet with my boss and talk fairly coherently about developing a PR strategy! Then came home, spent the after making hopefully delicious weaning foods for DD to try, followed by a walk during which she fell asleep. Head is spinning, I'm that bloody knackered, but pleased that I can function even when this tired! Ok so it was only a morning, but it has made me feel a little better about going back to work even if she's still sleeping as long as I don't have to make any decisions involving people's lives or millions of pounds

And I'm also pleased that DD was fine for almost 5 hours with DH! Doesn't sound much but that's the longest I've been away from her (and she still is very wary of taking a bottle). Going to try to leave her with DH or grandparents when I can as I think it will help us both. If that doesn't sound too selfish? Honestly though, the difference a bit of time away makes - and time to be me and not just mummy - is huge, and it's had a big impact on my mood!

Just wanted to share my good day, to prove some days are good! (in amidst the grinding tirednessl...

Sorry for the many typos, I plead tiredness, that and a ton of sleeping baby impeding my typing efforts..

Think do you have understanding employers?

Starfish we went as I thought it would wear him out to nap later.... Ha!

Purple sounds like you have had a productive day! How did dh cope?

I don't know what to do anymore. Ds went for his kip this morning, all fucking 5 minutes of it. That was it, for the whole day. I was crying, he was crying, it was a disaster. He's ridiculously over tired now but just will not settle at all. He keeps trying to sit up, squealing, throwing his arms around. I already feel sick at the thought of tonight.

Oh zombie. That sounds dreadful. I remember when ds learnt to sit as soon as he fell asleep he would sit up and then cry cause he was awake/sitting. That was another period of him sleeping in pram strapped in

My employers are understanding and I regulate my own time but have demanding clients who aren't so forgiving. It's not the kind of job you can easily hand over so if for example I leave early to look after kids, clients will expect an email or a call that evening and I am trying to build up my practice and earn much more than dh so need to give it 100%

My mum and I both seem to have caught this cold. Dreading tonight. Today's been sooo busy have managed one cuppa and one biscuit all day

Think you are a genius. That has just made me realise, I wonder if it's because he is about to start walking. The past few days he has started walking while holding your hand, a few times today he looked like he was about to take steps but didn't. His sleep is usually bad but not this bad

Your job sounds tough, sounds similar to mine. You go relax and have some grub, give dh plenty of chance to train up on looking after ds

Well done purple! Sounds like a very successful day all round. Nothing like feeling like your old self for a few hours at least! Glad it went so well.

That could be the answer zombie! 5 mins all day is a killer. I really hope tonight is ok...

Zombie if he s about to start sleep standing you might want to make sure your cot is low enough so he doesn't topple out!

Just for some inspiration ds (now4) is a fab sleeper! He was never quite as bad as dd though. He goes down between 7 - 7.30 and doesn't leave his room til his gro clock changes colour at 7.

Well done purple great day!

Crossing all fingers and toes for all of us for tonight

Think he started standing a while ago, the cot sides were low. Luckily the cot was pushed right up to my bed because I was woken one night by him belly flopping into my belly

Hopefully it's just as he's learning to walk. I hope he leans quickly

He was a nightmare to get down tonight.

Good luck everyone!

Hello everyone, i hope today is going well. I've been a bit unsure whether to post over last couple of days so not to tempt fate but I noticed think was after some inspirational stories so here goes! I'm not sure it's exactly inspirational- I know my hope was that dd would turn a corner with no intervention! But basically night weaning and control crying at bedtime has helped hugely here. We started with control crying but stopped after one night due to ear infection but we stuck with the no night feeds. Dh did all the resettling in the night. For those really not keen on cc this alone made a difference although she was still upset about the change. Then we've just done 3 nights of cc at bedtime now she's better, and last night she settled without a murmur and slept through. We chose to pick up and cuddle when we do go back to her and never left for more than 6 minutes. We just decided that we really wanted to settle her on each return and if that required a pick up and cuddle we were happy with that. We thought that this would mean the whole process would take longer but it didn't seem to.
She's happy in the day and even taken her first steps.
I'm sure I've now jinxed it and will be back on here in the wee hours!
to anyone who needs it today

Bugaboom that's great news!!! Well done! And well done dd for the steps.
If she got to the 6 mins and was still upset, what did you do? Just pick her up? And when you go into them do you hold them until they're asleep, or just until they stop crying?

I will have to do something soon, had a bad night here again, no naps today either apart from 15 mins, then he woke up coughing and wouldn't settle

bug that's awesome! Well done. So pleased for you and great there is a success story! Remind me how old your DD is again?
I had the same question as zombie re getting them back to sleep. Is the idea that you cuddle them till they stop crying and leave the room, returning every 2,4,6 mins or to cuddle them back to sleep?

zombie my Dh was much better than me at this. She really wanted milk from me. But yes if we couldn't settle her in the cot we'd pick her up and cuddle til she calmed. Then put her back down in lying. I would then leave the room even if I could hear her get up again. That was really hard. But it would get to a point where she wouldn't be standing just lying and all she needed was a pat and a shush .
The very first night (I posted here) was 55 minutes. Then following nights we stayed with her and it was 30-40 minutes of crying with us in the room. When we back to cc it was 25 minutes, 10 minutes next night and last night no crying.

Sorry starfish cross posted with you. Dd is 12 months. If you look up control crying you're not supposed to pick up and cuddle if you can avoid it. But we decided we would as she wouldn't calm down with just a back pat in cot. The idea is though that you leave them awake- they should be aware of you leaving the room. You leave them for as long as you feel comfortable. To be honest it got easier the longer we left it as Dd would start to calm. She seemed to find it more frustrating on the nights we stayed with her. I think pick up put down might be a good alternative if you can't face leaving the room

Bugaboon great news!!!!!!!! Just to be clear - you night weaned first right? How did you go that? Did you give water? Did she go crazy?

Then cc til she could self settle?

Dd is 6 m and on 3 small puréed meals a day but drinks about half of her formula each day over night so I reckon I'd need to night wean gradually. Dh has a week off in a couple of weeks so assuming no illness am up for starting that process then (although I appreciate there's s huge difference between 6m and 12m)

Thanks! My DS can settle himself at bedtime it's just the multiple wake ups where he thinks he needs boob to go back off. He's clearly not hungry (tho I'd like to give him another month on solids to be sure). Sorry one last question... you did this every time she woke in the night? That's the bit I think I'd crack with when it's 3am and you just want to get back to sleep.

think yes it worked out that way due to the ear infection, bit we had intended to do both. I'd already gone a whole night with no feed so wanted to stick with it. So 4 nights of no feeds then we started cc again. Although in that 4 nights there were a couple of night wakings where DH had to leave her for a few minutes (for his sanity) and she actually calmed quicker. Clearly his lack of boobs annoyed her!
Good idea to do it when DH off..I couldn't have managed it on my own.

Starfish yes you need to repeat in the night..we found that the cc in night never took more than about 20 minutes. I guess because they are tired and just want to get back to sleep. Can you send your other half in to give water and a cuddle? Three nights of that might be enough on its own.

Thanks for all the support on here. I'm really hoping I haven't jinxed things. Tonight's my first bedtime without DH.

Yep. Completely jinxed it. She's going for it tonight

Were you anxious about it before putting her down? They can really pick up on things at that age. Also I've heard with CC they can have a relapse around day 5 but then it gets better. Wouldn't know though as I'm too soft to CC!

Oh sorry bug. Sounds like she's testing you as dh not there. Won't last when she realises you mean business

Probably unplain. She was grizzly rather than crying and I probably should have left her but I went in. I think it gave her incentive to give it a proper go! Didnt last very long though- just two checks. Looks like she has another cold though.