Sleepless of Mumsnet - join us if your LO consistently laughs in the face of sleep!

[Purpleboa]

Hi everyone. I thought I'd create this thread when I saw that there were quite a few of us lingering on the 4 month regression thread, with babies that clearly didn't get the memo about things getting better!

I've seen another thread for parents whose children are long term poor sleepers but I think it's been relegated to zombie status. So I hope nobody minds if I start another one! If your LO consistently struggles to sleep, whether it's down to diet, night terrors or just sheer bloody mindedness, please pull up an armchair and join in! I'll supply the espressos, hugs and chocolate, wine and tears served after 4pm.

I'll start: my DD is 25 weeks. She's gorgeous, adorable and the absolute light of my life. Unless it's between the hours of 7pm and 7am! She's struggled with sleep always. I thought things would improve following the 'fourth trimester' but she got a cold, reacted badly to her jabs...and before I knew it we'd cruised into the 4 month regression. Which she's either still in, or she's teething, or developing, or wonder weeking, or fck knows really!

The past two weeks have been particularly painful and I feel I'm reaching the limits of my endurance. I love being her mum, I love spending time with her...but not sleeping makes it oh so very hard.

I have found Mumsnet to be a wonderful source of support during those dark and lonely hours when you feel like you're the only person in the world going through this. So I wanted to give back and support others too.

I'll put the kettle on...

Also you know people say not to be too quiet around baby sleeping so that they don't get used to it. Does anyone else find that you HAVE to be quiet or the baby just won't sleep.

Wow some great progress here!

We found we have to have the to on for dd to nap better as we'd tried to have it on she she was little and now she needs the background noise. At night she'll wake with sudden noises though like a door banging - really not great when inlaws or parents are staying over as they all think babies should get used to you repeatedly slamming the cutlery drawer

*tv

Bugaboom we go to see his dietitian Monday so will ask about the skin pricks then. Fingers tightly crossed sleep training has worked! Have you been doing the same with naps?

Youcantscareme I know this is obvious but have you tried really upping foods in the day? I found it really hard too but got a telling off from the dietitian for it. M

Think that is ace!!! Well done!

Starfish sounds like you had a good night too! Let's hope he keeps it up.

Pyjamar I hope he gets back on track for you, could be that it's the holidays so change of routine etc. And yes, the slightest noise wakes ds up, even though when he was little he would sleep through anything.

It's that dreaded time of day here, where ds really needs a nap but refuses to sleep. He's currently lying on me but feels it's a good time to have an indepth (I think) conversation with himself and poke his fingers right in my eyes to investigate them

Today I was shocked. My usually lazy as fuck 'laid back' husband got up with ds and left me sleeping. I had a 2 hour kip I woke up in a fantastic mood. It's so strange, I have been suffering really badly with anxiety and have been snappy but I had a kip and haven't had any anxiety and have been very cheerful if I do say so myself it's really opened my eyes to what lack of sleep can do to you. It's shocking.

Omg ds has just fallen asleep

I'm too scared to move him though

zombie amazing. Hope he had a decent nap. No we're not doing anything about naps. I'm happy enough with her sleeping in pushchair (although naps were very short today)
pyjama I hope he improves soon
you can't scareme I think 9 months is tricky. I wasn't ready to nightwean then and I was hopeful dd would get there on her own if I gave her a bit longer
fluff your post reminded me of when I was trying to put ds to bed and my in laws decide to make a bit of supper- his room is above the kitchen and they made such a racket with plates clashing and drawers slamming. Grr.

Well DS has hardly had any milk today so expecting lots of wake ups tonigjt

It started off good he had a nap of around 45 mins; then woke up absolutely hysterical. It's his teeth, his cheeks were both really red. He wouldn't touch a bit of his dinner if I tried to feed him he would hit it away and shake his head.

I gave him nurofen and that anbesol stuff (can never remember the name) and he calmed down and was rubbing his eyes. Took him to bed at 6, then my stomach rumbled so loud it woke him to and he got a sudden burst of energy. He's been playing since. He's starting to fall asleep now.

Can't picture it being a good night here either

Good luck everyone

I had an awful time settling dd. I've been feeding her, then putting her in sleeping bag and reading her stories and putting her down. Then dh takes over. Tonight decided I should try what he does- cuddling over the side and lying her back down. She went ballistic. When I picked her up she just kept trying to get to my boobs. The only way she would calm was with me walking with her. As soon as I put her in cot she went crazy. Dh took over after 40 min. I'm so upset by it all. I just wanted to get this sleep training over and done with but it's looking like we'll be back to square one when dh goes back to work. And I'm not hopeful for a decent stretch of sleep before I go back.

Bugaboom hope she's settled for you.

Hello my sleepless friends. I realised that going on my phone in the middle of the night was making it harder for me to get back to sleep...but then it helps me stay awake and keep sitting up feeding rather than lie down which got me into this mess.

Mixed results so far with CCing. But she has a cold so backing off for a bit. I think my own tiredness has been unmasked now I've had a few runs of 3 hours or more though.....

And what I really logged on for was to have a whinge about how rubbish I feel having seen Facebook posts from girls who have babies younger than mine out partying / hosting parties / on trips away to other cities. I know I know Facebook does not reflect real life but the only reason I was up at midnight on NYE was because the baby had just settled from a feed then fireworks woke the toddler.

I can console myself that I know that it must only have been a good thing to cosleep and BF on demand for over 6 months but I honestly couldn't imagine having the energy to get dolled up and host / go out. I also feel like I've lost the ability to have conversation beyond kids and very basic small talk I am that tired.

Lil ** you did a great job bf, fwiw, ds was bottle fed from birth due to going into scbu and he's a crap sleeper too. I think some just get it, some don't. I could of punched my friend right in the face the other week, her ds is 5mo, she text me going on saying she had an absolutely awful night with him, he went to bed at 7 and woke up at 5. He went back to sleep after being given a dummy and slept until 8.30 I was not impressed. How the hell could anyone moan about that

We had a really good night, I'm surprised. Ds went to bed at about 7.40 I think. We had about 4 wake ups. I was silly and thought he'd sleep in until 6ish as he went to bed earlier but no, he woke up at 4am instead of the usual 5. But in my books 4 wake ups is a good night

We had an unsettled night... think I overfed DS2 at teatime in a bid to get him to sleep longer and he had a sore tummy.

Then DS1 woke twice in the night shouting to get out of bed/go downstairs/read books which went on for 30 mins each time. This was of course in between wake ups with DS2.

Also DS2 does this thing where he'll wake at say 5/530... he won't feed back to sleep or be rocked so I end up putting him in the sling for his last chunk of night sleep (say 30-45 mins). If I just get him up instead it's clear he wants to be asleep but won't go for a nap if that makes sense. It's like night sleep he needs help with and nap time he's ok with. Wierd and annoying. Just feckin wake at 7am if that's what you need!

Anyway here's me moaning and you started your day at 4am zombie! Yes your friend does need punching!

Zombie thanks! When I think about it I have met a couple of friends this time who bottle fed and have similarly bad sleepers when I come to think about it. I think you're right that some babies just find sleep easier than others. DH is not a good sleeper so I blame him
(Although now he's back in our room he seems to sleep a bit more than he claims if the snores are anything to go by!)

And just tell yourself that you are made of much stronger stuff than your friend - if she finds that sort of night challenging, she's going to struggle with transitioning to a bed, toddler tantrums etc....

We've had 4am party time hours until 5am all this week. Why!!? Hoping it will calm down when we're back in more of a routine with Dh at work this week.

Oh I hear you Lil on the Facebook posts! One girl smugly posted about how many Christmas nights out she had now that her 4 month old was sleeping through. I think I've mentioned/bemoaned the fact that I'm part of a new mums group which is very supportive. But my DD is the worst sleeper of the lot and it's hard not to feel inadequate because of this! The majority of these babies are ff, but even the ebf ones sleep well! One girl who ebf managed a whole weekend away!!

And yes to what Zombie says about people complaining about one wake up at 5. That sounds like a dream to me!!

But as Zombie also points out, that what don't kill us makes us stronger! I think it's definitely improved my capacity to cope.

I think when it's sunny again all will be better. Even if they don't sleep well the sun will make us feel better and hopefully get their circadian rhythms in line too!

Pajama my ds just had both bottom teeth through. It really disturbed his sleep, once the first was through we had a couple of good days then back on crap again when the second was cutting. I'm hoping it'll be easier now. He sleeps through noise but if he's about to wake and there's something going on then he won't go back to sleep at all.

I'm back to work tomorrow...I should be organising school stuff, doing some work, (I'm a teacher) generally getting ready...but instead I'm on my second cuppa and I'm still in my pj's! Rough night again but only from midnight, he slept from 8:30 till then, I even managed not to feed him to sleep, sang to him and rubbed his back. Took bloody ages.He woke up 5 mins later and I had to feed him back to sleep anyway! Then from midnight he was awake constantly, looking around etc.

I think we are going to try a bit of a plan of getting as much food into him as possible, my mum is good at this, although we are blw so it kind of goes against that but I just need him to sleep! He feeds himself really well at tea time but breakfast and lunch are non starters. Then once he's in a napping routine and I've been at work a bit when he's 10 months ish we will try offering water at night I think and try and get DH to settle him to sleep. At least I'll know it's not hunger and the upheaval of me being away from him that's upsetting him then.

lily I would always take Fb with a pinch of salt, it's always going to be people's edited 'best' self you see.
But on the going out...I am sleep deprived and at times its got to the point where I know I need to go to bed at 9pm, but I've also had a few nights out and plenty of late nights at tea weekend, sitting up drinking wine with my dh and watching box sets! I refuse to let this sleep thing beat me, if I keep wishing away my life (it'll be better when he's sleeping, when he's 1, when he's. .... ) then I'd never do anything! I would have waited 4 years to do anything if I'd waited for my dd to sleep, so we try to get out with friends every so often, I definitely suffer for it for a day or two but it's worth it!

Anyway, off to motivate myself to get ready for work tomorrow...urgh..

Starfish that sounds rough, I think I often oversees too in a desperate attempt to get more sleep. How does ds1 sleep normally? Is he usually good?

Lil, you are a strong woman, the moment my husband starts snoring he gets a bloody sharp jab in the ribs

Fluffkins you have found yourself in the 4am party too? I put ds to bed 2 hours later than usual last night, it resulted in him waking up an hour earlier than usual my mom said she reckons it was the clocks changing that messed up my ds sleep (he's never slept through apart from one night) I asked her what was messing up his sleep before the clocks changed then, her response 'the clocks not changing' ok mom.

Purple I'm in a few groups and they all sleep through and nap easily etc, I'm stating to think there's something wrong with them lot maybe our dc's just love us so much they have to spend time with us desperately clutching at straws

Youcantscareme think I'm about to get my Pajamas back on. Good luck tomorrow!

Ds morning nap lasted all of 20 mins. Just trying to get him to sleep again. How am I meant to get him in a routine it he is all over the place like this

*overfeed not oversees.

yep 4am-5am up, pulling my hair, scratching, blowing raspberries. Exhausting. She did sleep 5-7.30 which is nice but as of tomorrow I need to be up at 6 to take DH to work so no doubt I'll check the time at 5am and decide it's not worth trying to get back to sleep at that point. Really hoping the routine will help her (well, me)

I hope it goes well fluff

Haven't got ds last nap in today have been trying for the last hour. He's just screaming and wriggling and pinching as usual, then I put him down and he screams and rubs his eyes. No way will he be staying awake until a normal time I don't understand why it's so difficult for him.

I am so beyond stressed.

ds never had his nap.

We had a visitor coming this evening who turned up late, right when I was getting ds ready for bed. Ds got very over excited and started showing off. He's now hysterical because he's so over tired

Dreading tonight.

zombie - re the napping I read somewhere that if you get them to sleep any means how for a week they get used to being tired and sleeping for a certain time then they can apply it in their cot or where ever. So if he sleeps in the buggy do a 2hr buggy walk every morning for example to get him used to that. Tho I think I remember you saying you have to drive for like 2 hrs just to get him off to sleep... hope your night goes ok. Re your question DS1 is normally v good. I've been so focused on the baby tho that I forgot DS1 is also growing up and changing... think he needs less day sleep. Sigh.

Good luck fluff. My DH is back at work tomorrow and I'm terrified of looking after both of them on my own. So silly really I just hate the rigmarole of when the day actually starts. Wish they would both just wake at 7am happy and ready to start the day!

Good luck tonigjt everyone x