Sleepless of Mumsnet - join us if your LO consistently laughs in the face of sleep!

[Purpleboa]

Hi everyone. I thought I'd create this thread when I saw that there were quite a few of us lingering on the 4 month regression thread, with babies that clearly didn't get the memo about things getting better!

I've seen another thread for parents whose children are long term poor sleepers but I think it's been relegated to zombie status. So I hope nobody minds if I start another one! If your LO consistently struggles to sleep, whether it's down to diet, night terrors or just sheer bloody mindedness, please pull up an armchair and join in! I'll supply the espressos, hugs and chocolate, wine and tears served after 4pm.

I'll start: my DD is 25 weeks. She's gorgeous, adorable and the absolute light of my life. Unless it's between the hours of 7pm and 7am! She's struggled with sleep always. I thought things would improve following the 'fourth trimester' but she got a cold, reacted badly to her jabs...and before I knew it we'd cruised into the 4 month regression. Which she's either still in, or she's teething, or developing, or wonder weeking, or fck knows really!

The past two weeks have been particularly painful and I feel I'm reaching the limits of my endurance. I love being her mum, I love spending time with her...but not sleeping makes it oh so very hard.

I have found Mumsnet to be a wonderful source of support during those dark and lonely hours when you feel like you're the only person in the world going through this. So I wanted to give back and support others too.

I'll put the kettle on...

Well after an absolutely shocking night with no sleep for me until 3 am and then hourly waking, feeding, crying, repeat..I'm now relaxing in a hotel room with a glass of wine after a lovely massage.
I just don't know what going on with him, we tried him with a tiny bit of cheese yesterday at tea time and then we had disgusting nappies overnight and very disrupted sleep, every hour or less he'd wake up crying. I keep thinking it has to be the dairy but then he has no other symptoms. He's also been cutting his first two teeth so I wonder if the next two are coming.

I really started to lose my rag yesterday, I just get so tired and at the end of my tether so this night away is just what we need, hopefully I'll be able to go back and feel a bit more refreshed and more able to cope. I can relate to the poster that mentioned her dh being lazy. I have to prompt DH to take ds or go up to him, partly cause his hearing is bad so he genuinely doesn't hear him but partly ds just screams for me, so hes got no confidence with him, last night I was trying to get something done and he tried but had to keep handing him over when he would immediately stop. It's just automatically become my job to deal with every night waking and I don't know how to change things really.
Anyway, happy new year to you all, I really hope it's got one sleep in it for all of us!

Lasagna is made, prosecco chilling. I've already see And then there were none and can confirm Aiden turner does indeed have his shirt off. And probably for longer than entirely necessary for the story . The BBC know how to get the ratings!

I'm not sure if we'll have to abandon sleep training. Dd has an ear infection. It's not affecting her mood- she's been delightful but it has made her sick a couple of times. We'll see how she is at bedtime as don't want last night to have been in vain.

Buga both mine suffer from ear infections - after every cold usually! They are generally fine in the day but laying down creates more pressure so it becomes uncomfortable, also my eldest suffers from strange dreams when he has an ear infection. So don't be too harsh on her if she is unsettled.

Sleepyhead grand arrived today but think it looks a bit big still. Will keep her in the deluxe for a few more weeks.

Tonight we'll be doing what we do every night. Try to eat around her wake ups and going up at ten to separate beds so Dh can sleep in peace. Wooo

Purple I have no idea who that is will google shortly! We won't do much, we have pizza and and will mainly be praying for a better night than last night.... A bit worried about the fire works, it they don't wake ds up anyway, the dog barks.

Youcantscareme, hope you have a lovely time at the hotel and get lots of rest it was me that said my h is lazy, I think it's the same, he has no confidence as he left everything to me when ds was tiny so ds just screams for me when he's with him, which then makes h worse.

Bugaboom crap timing with the ear infection, how was she after she settled down?

Fluffkins us lot sure do know how to live life on the edge of insanity! What is a sleepy head?

Not hopeful for a good night, ds was crazy over tired. He didn't touch his dinner, didn't have his whole bedtime bottle and has a tooth coming in he's already asleep, got to attempt to move him to his cot now.

zombie she was really good. Woke three times but had water and dh rubbed her back and she went back to sleep. First night ever of no breastfeeding. Although I wonder if she felt a hit poorly and that's why she slept! She's napped well today too. Certainly is crap timing

First night of no breastfeeding is amazing bug. How old is she again?

Omg hotel and massage sounds amazing. I'm so.jealous! Enjoy

I have prosecco chilling and lamb shank waiting to be shoved in the oven. DH probably thinks he's on a promise tonight but I lcan't be arsed haha

DS2 is so over tired after crap napping and DS1 is refusing all food so will goto bed hungry and grumpy again. He's suddenly decided he will only go to sleep with one of us in the room preferably cuddling or stroking him so takes ages to put him to bed. So even at 2.3 they can just change (for the worse!).

starfish dd is nearly 12.months! Your dinner sounds amazing.

Oh and my three year old has been asking me to sit with him while he falls asleep for the past week or so. He goes off quite quick though

Zombie the sleepyhead is a kind of cushion. There's a small one 0-8months which she's had for ages. I tried to wean her off it but she's so much better in it so ordered the next size up.

Does your 3 yo still nap bug? Mine is starting to refuse his but he clearly still needs it (he's nearly 2 and 3 months)... am just getting DS2 to bloody nap and now the toddler is refusing his

No starfish just a few minutes in car occasionally. He stopped around 2 years 9 months I think, maybe a bit later but definitely before age 3

Bugaboom that is really good! Is she on anti biotics or anything?

Starfish that sounds scary! Changing sleep habits still at that age.

Fluffkins I will investigate, ds likes to rest his head on something but they aren't supposed to have normal pillows until they are older I think. I'm guessing it's a baby equivalent?

And that's marks our second wake up of the night off I go....

zombie she is on antibiotics. Despite a great mood she was sick on way to doctors. I put her down tonight but as soon as she cried for a minute she was sick. So we abandoned control cry and dh rubbed her back to sleep. I'm determined not to night feed though even if we cuddle her to calm her. I need to nightwean. I suspect our amazing night last night was due to her being poorly.

I hope your ds settles quickly

He did settle quickly but has been up once since, at this point I don't mind quick wake ups like that but I get so down when he stays up.

It's probably a good idea to give a rub rather than cc while she's I'll, at least you know she can go all night without a feed. Are you feeling more confident now to continue cc when she's better?

Am usually in bed by 9.30 (rock n roll) so just incase (my phone auto corrected that to insane ) happy new year everyone.

Haha insane might be more appropriate for the sleep deprived on this board!
I'm not sure how I feel about cc. I'm hoping she gets better quickly, otherwise last night feels like a horrible waste of time for all of us. However I am happy to report there were no hard feelings this morning. She was her happy self so that makes me more confident.
I'm also off to bed. Happy new year all

Zombie it's like a wrap around cushion. Dd likes to sleep on her side with her arm hugging it. I think it makes her feel secure and also stops her rolling around the cot into the sides and waking herself up.

Bug can you do a gentle approach so go from rubbing to slightly lighter rubbing or slowing the pace of how you stroke so it gets slower and slower over a week, then just a hand on them which you do lighter and lighter over a few days then eventually nothing?

Happy new year everyone!

So 2016 is shaping up to be just as sleepless as 2015 :( so many wake ups tonight I've lost count. I've given up any hope of sleep, ever. I think I need to train myself to just learn not to sleep, because it's obvious that DD is just never ever going to sleep through. Doesn't help that insomnia is now kicking in. I'm way too anxious to sleep during the limited time I can.

I worry that I have bought this on myself, by breastfeeding her and by feeding her to sleep and never teaching her to self settle. Now we're six months in and things are worse than ever. I don't know where to go from here.

Facebook is full of people gushing on about their wonderful 2015. I want to join in and be grateful for my beautiful baby, but when I look back at the year, all I can think of is how tired I was!

Sorry for the negative post. Just feeling very alone with it all. DH told me off for being self pitying and I know I am, but I'm just So. Fucking. Exhausted!!

Purple ** you are definitely not alone. I know all too well it doesn't feel like it will happen, but she will get there. the anxiety meaning you can't sleep is totally normal to us lot anyway. Does your dh help much?

We had a really good night about 4/5 wake ups in all and up at 5am but he didn't stay awake, he would go back to sleep when lay down with his dummy. Am going to try and move his nap back today as it seems he only has one a day, even though he needs 2. I think it doesn't help how over tired he gets before bed. I also need to move his bed time back but he just never manages it, he gets too tired but it's too late for another nap then

Happy new year everyone!! Up every 2 hrs so not too bad. He's very windy so think that is disturbing him. I gave him the biggest tea ever thinking it would see him thru but he lasted till 10pm.

Purple please don't blame yourself -6 months is still very young for a baby when you consider that a lot of people have issues with 2 and 3 year olds which is also totally normal. You have done amazingly well to breastfeed for so long and the self settle thing will happen. My DS goes to sleep on his own at bedtime but is up every 2 hrs and I feed him back to.sleep so even if they can do it it doesn't mean they do it in the night. Think someone else said that too on here recently.

She will definitely improve and will definitely sleep thru. It might even be sooner than you think.

If you are feeling anxious and it's affecting the quality of sleep you are getting, maybe you could look to work on that rather than trying to 'fix' the baby for now?

.... also just to say purple, I totally get the anxiety thing. I made my DH swap sides as couldn't even sleep next to the moses basket with our first baby I was that worked up about him. So xx

purple I think our kids are the same age. I definitely don't think you've done anything wrong. I've fed to sleep and I genuinely think that self-settling is something that will come in time. Some babies get it earlier, some later, just like rolling/crawling/sitting/waving etc. My SIL has 2 kids. The first self-settled, slept anywhere and went through the night from early on. The second won't be put down and wakes every hour. She's done the same thing with both of them so I think it just depends on the baby.

At 6 months I think we've still got loads of time to expect a lot of changes in our babies sleep wise. Perhaps its as simple as the days getting longer for us which will help?

I think what we can do now is put in place some good habits, like sleep cues, even if they don't work! Like a routine before bed. That way they will associate that with sleeping eventually.

In terms of feeding to sleep do you mean that your little one only sleeps with nipple in mouth? Or do they pull off and then go to sleep? If the former can you try the pantley method? If the latter then what I've been doing is singing the same song every time I feed her at night. it's slowly getting to the point that I can pull her off awake and sing to her while holding her. I'm hoping I can eventually put her in her cot while singing. It's not self settling but at least at some point I might be able to record me singing and just run downstairs and drink wine! I think it takes about 1-2 weeks for them to even begin to associate something like a song with sleep but worth trying? I like to egotistically sing 'dream a little dream'

I think you're like me and don't have much help in the form of grandparents? Is there anyone who can come and give you some respite - take the baby for an hour or so during the day so you can just catch up a little with sleep?

Also hate to say it but screen time will give you insomnia!

purple I completely agree that feeding to sleep is normal, I honestly don't know how you don't feed to sleep in early months. As pp said it's not necessarily a magic bullet when you stop feeding to sleep. However if YOU are fed up of it then it is a problem that needs changing.
My dd has been quite happy to hang off my nipple all night. The pantley method did not work (or other methods from the ncss- found it exhausting to read and even more tiring to put into practice). I don't have the answers just wanted to agree that it is shit! And where better to vent your negativity than on is this board so don't apologise!

I think I have found one of the problems my ds is having

He loves black currant baby juice. He slept well last night but he had water and then some apple baby juice to drink. He had black currant this morning, he had a drink then when he pulled it away some splashed over his face, literally straight away his face come up in a bright red rash where it has splashed on him that's another allergy isn't it?

could just be a reaction, not an allergic reaction? Id stick to water and milk anyway.