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Original poster

Sleepless of Mumsnet - join us if your LO consistently laughs in the face of sleep!

999 replies

Purpleboa · 05/12/2015 13:53

Hi everyone. I thought I'd create this thread when I saw that there were quite a few of us lingering on the 4 month regression thread, with babies that clearly didn't get the memo about things getting better!

I've seen another thread for parents whose children are long term poor sleepers but I think it's been relegated to zombie status. So I hope nobody minds if I start another one! If your LO consistently struggles to sleep, whether it's down to diet, night terrors or just sheer bloody mindedness, please pull up an armchair and join in! I'll supply the espressos, hugs and chocolate, wine and tears served after 4pm.

I'll start: my DD is 25 weeks. She's gorgeous, adorable and the absolute light of my life. Unless it's between the hours of 7pm and 7am! She's struggled with sleep always. I thought things would improve following the 'fourth trimester' but she got a cold, reacted badly to her jabs...and before I knew it we'd cruised into the 4 month regression. Which she's either still in, or she's teething, or developing, or wonder weeking, or fck knows really!

The past two weeks have been particularly painful and I feel I'm reaching the limits of my endurance. I love being her mum, I love spending time with her...but not sleeping makes it oh so very hard.

I have found Mumsnet to be a wonderful source of support during those dark and lonely hours when you feel like you're the only person in the world going through this. So I wanted to give back and support others too.

I'll put the kettle on...

OP posts:
UnplainJane · 29/12/2015 19:35

My toddler gets himself to sleep alone in his own bedroom but still wakes 4/5 times a night - it's not the 'holy grail' of better sleep that everyone will have you believe. It is nice to have an evening though, I just pop him in his cot at 7pm, shut the door and let him chatter/sing himself to sleep (takes around 20mins) while I read to my 6yr old, put him to bed then catch up on TV or read a good book!

UnplainJane · 29/12/2015 19:38

fluff at least it's reassuring to know it's never too late for them to learn to self soothe if someone in their 20's can learn!

DixieNormas · 29/12/2015 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thinkfast · 29/12/2015 19:50

Yes it's crazy isn't it. I met dh when I was only 18 and remember asking him for a bedtime story. He looked at me like Hmm

Bugaboom ds would pull up on the bars of his cot and each checking time we'd just lay him back down and say it's sleepy time. As I said up post it worked brilliantly with him at 9 months ish / not so well at 6 months so think they also have to be ready. He'd Twitter and talk til he dropped off to sleep which he still does now at 4. Can't wait for dd to reach that stage. Ds was bad but not as bad a sleeper as dd though

fluffikins · 29/12/2015 20:25

I had a fisher price tape player I use to get to sleep with. I used it right up until uni and even now find if I struggle to get to sleep popping on a radio 4 comedy show on my phone helps me drift off. I'd be very happy if dd did the same! But needing someone with her to fall asleep is hopefully something that will diminish before she's 20 Grin

thinkfast · 29/12/2015 20:43

Sit down to eat. Dd wakes up. She definitely has inbuilt radar

DixieNormas · 29/12/2015 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bugaboom · 30/12/2015 13:46

think your situation sounds similar to me. Older ds was a poor sleeper but dd is worse. Well we're starting tonight. An attempt by dh to settle her at 11 last night was disastrous so we're going to need some real willpower to get through this. Oh, and having spent 40 minutes settling her at 11 then handing her over to me for rest of the night, has meant tired DH has been napping for the last hour and a half!

zombiemeow · 30/12/2015 17:18

Good luck bugaboom

Ds was up at 3am this morning. He had a good nap in his cot this afternoon then got tired by the evening and wouldn't nap at all, now he's ready for bed, have been doing my best to keep him up until at least 6 but don't think he will stay up much longer Sad

starfish12 · 30/12/2015 18:13

Good luck bug!! Let us know how its going. You can do it!!!!

X

Original poster
Purpleboa · 30/12/2015 18:27

Best of luck Bug! Keep us updated here!

How's everyone doing? Another tired day here. Have decided to try and get a routine going, for day and night. Much needed, especially now we are weaning! We've been a bit crap with getting her three meals, so need to be stricter. I feel that now she is 6 months, we need to get tough!

Went to visit friends with a 6 week old baby today. He was 3 weeks premature so is tiny. But they're already trying cio! Their advice to us? 'They know they've got you wrapped round their finger, you can't let them win!' Er, you have a baby that still wants to be in its mum's womb, it wants cuddling, it has no interest in being cunning! Am I alone in thinking that's so wrong??

OP posts:
UnplainJane · 30/12/2015 18:50

Purple don't get me started on CIO - for any age let alone a newborn. People really ought to be educated on the mental/emotional capacity of babies and children before they have them. Humans don't actually think like an adult until 18yrs+ when the brain matures, which explains teenage behaviour - adults don't understand why children can't see things from their POV or why they won't listen/behave how adults want them to. They simply don't have the same thought processes as adults until their brain matures.

Anyway - it's their child and they will have to deal with the fallout from CIO not you. I feel that to leave such a tiny baby crying is quite unnatural and makes me wonder how people can do it and how do people come to the conclusion that a newborn can be manipulative?!

zombiemeow · 30/12/2015 19:16

Purple, 6 weeks and he was 3 weeks premature, that's awful Sad he wouldn't understand anything at that age, he would be so scared Sad what did you say to that?

Bugaboom · 30/12/2015 19:24

Well it's underway and I feel sick. Sad

thinkfast · 30/12/2015 19:25

Cio isn't for me but from where I am now I wouldn't criticise anyone's chosen method - even weisbluth - which I would never do. My view now is when it comes to sleep do whatever works

Bugaboom · 30/12/2015 19:25

Oh no. Dh has just said she's been sick. He's taken over.

thinkfast · 30/12/2015 19:28

Sorry misremembered the name. Weisbluth is similar to Ferber. Can't remember the name of the dr who says put them to bed at 7pm. Close door. Return at 7am. That's the one I'd never do although I've been tempted

thinkfast · 30/12/2015 19:30

Sick from crying or poorly?

If it's from crying then quiet change of clothes/sheets then continue as before. You're doing brilliantly! And it would be crueller to stop than continue as you'd just be teaching to cry for longer next time. 3 nights and you're done X

zombiemeow · 30/12/2015 19:42

Whatever works for you and dc I think but at 6 weeks Shock

Stay strong bugaboom, I did a lot of reading on cc before my feeble attempt and if I can remember it takes them around 45 mins to settle.

UnplainJane · 30/12/2015 19:49

think CIO at 6 weeks though?! It's not about criticising the method, it's about the fact the baby is still newborn!

thinkfast · 30/12/2015 19:53

Like I said it's not for me at that age. However I have a friend who did it, her mother did it to her, her children sleep beautifully Angryand seem v confident and well adjusted

Bugaboom · 30/12/2015 20:03

It was sick from crying. Just a small amount apparently. Now 56 minutes after starting it's quiet. I don't think dh left her for longer than 7 minutes. It's been awful, worse than I remember with ds. I can kind of see why some people would use Cio, in that every time we left dd she seemed to escalate but I couldn't do it. And with 6 week old- that is awful. No one would ever advise that.

DulcetMoans · 30/12/2015 20:25

That is hardcore, to start any sleep routine from that early with a premature baby.

I know they say babies can't manipulate, and I do agree, but sometimes you do wonder! Like waking up when you sit down to eat think! I'm currently sat outside DS room after he woke up 2 mins after I said 'he's sparko!' When I got downstairs. It's like he knows! We moved him to his room this week which has largely gone fine but not helped with the wake ups. He's been a bit of a nightmare today, think he's teething, so expecting a worse night than normal. Sad

Sounds like you are doing well buga. Also sounds mega tough but just keep going, hopefully it won't take too long.

Lilipot15 · 30/12/2015 20:31

Bug good luck. I haven't been posting as I too am in the middle of an "intervention". CCing for us. Much earlier than with DD1 but figured there will never be a good time, DH off work, we are presently free of bugs and wonder weeks etc.....

It was either that or I was considering that I would have to see GP about my mood and snappiness. And I can honestly say that I put it all down to tiredness in which case presumably medicine won't help....and I know what they'd advise. So I just thought sod it, let's do it.

Will check in once I know how it really is going. It isn't as awful as I remembered but the crying does elicit a physical response - anxious, sweaty me. I have found it best to keep busy and have caught up with many small jobs that can be done in 5 mins!!!

Original poster
Purpleboa · 30/12/2015 20:43

I'm also trying out some CC! Decided to do it tonight after yet another failed attempt at getting her to sleep. Going in every 2, 4, 8 minutes...only ten mins in and my willpower is fading! Fuck this is HARD! Am I doing the right thing??

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