Sleepless of Mumsnet - join us if your LO consistently laughs in the face of sleep!

[Purpleboa]

Hi everyone. I thought I'd create this thread when I saw that there were quite a few of us lingering on the 4 month regression thread, with babies that clearly didn't get the memo about things getting better!

I've seen another thread for parents whose children are long term poor sleepers but I think it's been relegated to zombie status. So I hope nobody minds if I start another one! If your LO consistently struggles to sleep, whether it's down to diet, night terrors or just sheer bloody mindedness, please pull up an armchair and join in! I'll supply the espressos, hugs and chocolate, wine and tears served after 4pm.

I'll start: my DD is 25 weeks. She's gorgeous, adorable and the absolute light of my life. Unless it's between the hours of 7pm and 7am! She's struggled with sleep always. I thought things would improve following the 'fourth trimester' but she got a cold, reacted badly to her jabs...and before I knew it we'd cruised into the 4 month regression. Which she's either still in, or she's teething, or developing, or wonder weeking, or fck knows really!

The past two weeks have been particularly painful and I feel I'm reaching the limits of my endurance. I love being her mum, I love spending time with her...but not sleeping makes it oh so very hard.

I have found Mumsnet to be a wonderful source of support during those dark and lonely hours when you feel like you're the only person in the world going through this. So I wanted to give back and support others too.

I'll put the kettle on...

We are back to hourly or less waking after a couple of passable nights. It's just so depressing. Ive started dreading going to bed again and it's a constant game of pass the baby all evening until we go to bed and then I'm an all night snack bar. I totally get the lack of space too cold it's worse than when he was a newborn, he's 9 months ext week and we are considering moving the cot back into or room against our bed so I have some space!
So bloody tired and my back is killing me from laying on my side all night. Up at 5am yesterday and 6 this morning...I just so desperately want a lie in! I'm off as I'm a teacher but of course when I'm on holidays (hollow laugh) I just have all the house stuff, children to look after, my dd on holidaysand my work for school to do..is all just so overwhelming when I'm running on empty.

Well I've had about 3 hrs sleep thanks to DH telling me at 11pm he'd be home in 30 mins then not turning up till 245 am. Was out of my mind - he'd fallen asleep on the train after a night out and ended up miles and miles away and taken him ages to get back and his phone died. So glad he was happily sleeping on a train whilst I was pacing the house wondering at what point to report a mission person. Is 'funny' now he's ok but I'm shattered and paying for his night out! Today was supposed to be a fun family day seeing santa and I feel like shit
So yes - will be glad when things are back to normal too!!

Sounds like there's been a lot of crap nights

And at your dh starfish, I would be fuming!

Can't remember who asked about the co sleeping, but ds doesn't keep still at all so co sleeping is a no no here. His cot is in our room and pushed up right against the bed. I don't think it makes much of a difference to be honest but sometimes when he wakes up he will fall asleep just holding my hand and nearly breaking my arm pulling it through the bars

Ds was awake at 3 am this morning so we went and did the shopping at 5 am missing all the ques etc everyone in the shop seemed quite jolly.

We had a great night here. One wake up at 3am for a bottle then back to sleep til 7.30. Amazing. Unbelievable. And I have another migraine - just like the last time she had a good night so feel like shit again. Can't believe this crappy luck.

zombie you will always remember the 5am shopping trip in years to come!!

think that's so unfair again.. Great she had a good night tho!

Hello everyone. Sorry to hear the nights are still bad for most. Still not great here but dh did the cosleep for the first few hours last night so that helped a bit. Dd seems to have another cold/virus. She's incredibly clingy making getting any Christmas stuff done impossible!

She had 2 solid meals for the first time yesterday so wonder if that's got something to do with it. Although of course it could be a fluke...

Think that's great news! *

Bugaboom* the poor thing! Hope she's back to normal very soon.

I just came on to tell you all I'd put ds in his cot for a nap, almost an hour he's been up there without a peep.

I was just watching tv and thought the dog was making a very strange noise, I looked down the side of the sofa and she's just asleep, then I realised it was ds moaning on the monitor! Doh!

Nice one think and zombie!
Wow Starfish. I'd have murdered my DH with my bare hands. I'm a worrier anyway so that would pushed me over the edge! Hope he's making it up to you!

Well, DD is six months today. Which is lovely, I'm so proud of her and how far she's come. Which is also bad because looking back at the last 6 months, I can't think of a single day when I wasn't bone tired! She celebrated last night by waking up every hour or less, and crying when she did. Not ideal when you're staying in a hotel!

I feel like I'm nearing the end of my ability to cope. Know I've said that before but something about the 6 month mark depresses the hell out of me and makes me panic. What if she never improves?? Right now it's worse than when she was a newborn. So much worse.

I'd really, really appreciate any words of encouragement or advice for coping...

Purple, the one saying on here I keep reading is 'this too shall pass'. I hope it bloody does and I hope it's bloody soon. Other than that I just don't know, I know I have had days where I'm so exhausted I have actually just sat and cried telling myself 'you can't cope', but you can. Ds is now 12.5 months and sleep is very very slowly improving, I'm sure your dd will be the same and hopefully get the hang of it sooner than my ds did!

For the past 45 mins I have been trying to get ds to take the dreaded second nap, he's fighting it so much but he's so tired.

How have naps been for everyone today?

After over an hour of sitting in the dark listening to whinging and being slapped in the face I gave up he's so so tired though.

There's something about 6 months isn't there purple? You kind of expect to be getting more sleep by now. Other people seem to be less understanding if you're tired too. It's like you should have it all covered by now.

I really wish I had good advice to offer. The only thing I can be totally sure of is that it will pass eventually. You can definitely go in for revenge when she's a teenager.

She sounds chronically overtired, I've read about it they can't stay in a deep sleep because they're so tired. This was definitely the case with ds a couple of months ago.

Things that seem to have helped here are a bedtime routine which is bath, feed, put down with cot mobile, very dark room, quiet.

A nap routine, I read that a 6 month old can't cope with more than 2 hours awake time so I've started putting him down ahead of this, in his sleeping bag, curtains shut etc, he can still take 40 mins to sleep sometimes but generally does at least get a short nap around 9.30, 12, and 4.30.

A blanket over his eyes helps sometimes, I stay with him and hood his hand.

The old clique sleep when the baby sleeps, I used to hate anyone who said this, I mean when was I supposed to eat, shower, clean, but I've actually taken to going back to bed if I manage to get him to sleep in the day. Not all the time but if I've only had 4 hours sleep I can't cope.

We've recently stopped feeding him at night and give him water instead. He takes more milk in the day now and shows more interest in solids. It wouldn't work with every baby though.

To be honest though I think possibly the only reason he's sleeping better now is because he can put his dummy in himself. I reckon he wakes each sleep cycle and cries when he can't find his dummy.

Hang on in there, you're a wonderful mum and I bet your dd has an amazing attachment to you. My bet is she's going to be super smart, all the baby's I've known who've been awkward sleepless baby's have gone on to be very intelligent sensitive children.

Purple I'm with you about the six month thing. Yet again today I was thinking how different I would feel if I knew that when I went to bed I could have more than 1-2 hours.

Pyjama funnily enough I was thinking exactly the same thing about difficult sleepers seeming to be some of the brightest and sparkiest kids I know. Of course they are much more bright and sparky and less grumpy when they have had more sleep though

Anyone Dc having problems with finding their dummies at night, if you haven't already, I highly recommend a sleepy tot. Makes it much easier to find.

Ds been asleep since 5.45, woke up 3 times so far.

Well my DS clearly got fed up after 2 days of cot naps and decided to go back to the sling which annoyed me immensely. Hes totally overtired today after very little sleep so anticipating a bad night.

Re coping not sure I have any advice other than to say you are coping already, you are doing it! You have said numerous times how amazing your DD is and how well she is coming along which is all down to you. . There are times when you feel you can't cope but each time you have picked yourself back up which is pretty amazing.

For me personally I feel fine for a few days then let everything that annoys me build up then have a melt down declaring I can't do it anymore... and repeat over and over until something changes. Which to date hasn't been very much but still.

DD2 hasn't got my message that I have shedloads of wrapping to do tonight. Really not wanting to stay up tomorrow night wrapping.....
Her spidey sense heard my glass of wine being poured and she felt it wasn't quite time for that yet for me.

Bedtime not going well. The last few nights dh had been settling her in cot but when he wasn't here last night I fed her to sleep as she was exhausted. No difference with night wake ups. Tonight though he'd been in there an hour now and she's still shouting at him. And that's after a 45 feed and story with mummy. Argh.
Do you any of you follow the wonder weeks? Dd has just entering a developmental leap / stormy period. It's so hard because I really want to sleep train once Christmas over but not sure if I should now

Which wonder week are you on bug?

Haven't posted for a while. 6 months here too and no signs of it getting better. My only saviour is that I'm not going back to work for another 10 months so really hope I can sort sleep by then!

Teething and a cold are playing havoc with the only bit of sleep she was good at - between 7-10 so I'm up all evening resettling her and miss any time with Dh

Last night definitely a fluke. No sign of sleep tonight

For those of you despairing this will pass. Ds is now 4 and was a similarly crap sleeper as a baby. After sleep training s couple of time 6 m then again at 9 m he was much better. Then gradually improved, had a phase of early waking but since about 2 years old had slept 7.30 - 7 am consistently.

Can't wait for those days with dd. Just a shame I can't enjoy her being a baby as this is sooooo fucking frustrating

starfish leap 8 world of programmes. She's already woken once.

Hopefully it's a short one bug. Just think tho it's the last one!! Only 2 more sleep regressions after that and you are laughing! xx

Bug I was a big believe in the Wonder Weeks with DD1. But second time round, I haven't noticed a massive change in daytime behaviour and I would say that nighttime behaviour is pretty consistent over the past months. But, I would not consider any sleep training in a Wonder Week "stormy" period just in case. But then I always have a reason to avoid doing anything about it: "she has a cold", "I'm not as tired today", "she's so happy in the daytime I don't want to make her sad", "she's been a bit cranky, I want her to be okay at night"......I think I am just accepting I have a baby who needs to sleep right next to me.
I do want DH to come back into our room at some point though.

Zombie just googled the sleepytot, I have to get one now.

starfish 28 days!!
lilipot I agree completely and timed ds' sleep training for after the 6/7 month one. But next week is our only chance with both of us here and before I go back to work. I'm just like you though - last night we coslept well together (due to both of us being exhausted) and then I think "oh maybe I should just leave her be". But this time yesterday I was on the edge!