End of tether with 10 month old

[Bugaboom]

Dd is nearly 10 months and I'm feeling broken from lack of sleep. She goes down around 7.45. Generally does 3 hours (although tonight was one hourly wakes and has been wide awake for 90 minutes) then I either feed her and put her in cot or I cosleep. If she goes in cot she only does an hour or 2 at best. Then we cosleep. But I'm getting hardly any sleep- she's constantly on the boob and if I stop her she ends up wide awake for two hours (like now) which is soul destroying. She also fidgets like mad. I'm trying to put her down sleepy but awake which works OK but if I do this in night she ends up awake for ages so then the next night I revert back to cosleep in the hope we get some rest. I have a ds who is three and do most bedtimes on my own.
Naps are OK but she seems to transitioning to one already. She eats loads. Due back to work soon and really need to get better stretches with her in the cot. Help me make a plan. I keep reading stuff on sleep but seem to forget it when I need it in the night!!

I totally feel your pain. DS2 is 12mo now and his sleep is only just starting to improve - but it's two steps forward and one back. He usually wakes 2-3 times a night although last week it was only once (at about 5am - it was amazing to get 6 or so hours unbroken sleep!) - last night it was every couple of hours again though. If it's after 2am I give up and bring him into bed because that way everyone gets more sleep.

I haven't tried that much to sort things though. I had a similar situation with DS1 and nothing I tried made any difference. Then I read somewhere that sleeping longer and more independently is a developmental stage just like walking or talking - so they'll get there in their own time regardless of what you do. I've been much more relaxed with DS2 - although it is still knackering and I've gone back to work now - everyone assumes he's sleeping through!

DS2 is also sleeping a lot less in the daytime and his better night sleeps have been when he's not slept much in the day - I know this isn't normally the case though. Good luck!!!

Thanks Gozer. Much like you I've been more relaxed with dc2 and enjoyed the early months cuddly cosleeping which meant more sleep for everyone. But at midnight last night I thought I was losing my marbles! I have to say any days where this one naps well it makes no difference to her nights. Guess I'll just try to ride it out.

I'm wondering if there might be any point in dream feeding her just before her usual first wake up? Probably clutching at straws...

My DD1 slept only in really short chunks until 11 months. It nearly ruined me! The thing that really changed things was introducing a formula feed at bedtime. It was a real turning point

You could certainly try a dreamfeed, it might get you a few extra hours asleep.

Is she getting enough daytime milk? My DD was sleeping fine until weaning became established when she started much preferring food to milk. Gradually she started to refuse milk more and more in the daytime and it definitely affected her nights.

I now work hard to aim for at least two full milk feeds during the daytime, preferably three. She sleeps better as long as I maintain her daytime milk intake on top of proper food.

Aside from that, the bottom line is that if I was in your position I would night wean and teach baby an alternate way to get to sleep in the cot, rather than being fed.

Thanks both. Yes she has plenty of day milk most days and eats plenty. She refuses a bottle and won't drink any formula even from a cup so that's not an option. My dh is in there now and I can hear she's wide awake again. This is the worst bit- she'll now be up for ages. I think I'll have to get him to book a few days off and help me with night weaning. And might as well try dream feed too.