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Sleep

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Original poster

Cant take any more................

16 replies

LynseyM · 06/12/2006 11:39

Hi folks,

my ds is 15 months old and for the last couple of months has been getting up really really early. He used to wake at 6am which was fine then the clocks went back andit was 5.30 then 5am now its 4am every morning. I cant cope i am sooo tired, my partner and i take shifts on getting up but it doesnt help all that much to be honest. he always wakes screaming and i work part time and my dp full time, its a nightmare. we have tried using black out blinds a drink in his cot earlier bed time and later bed time but heis just getting up earlier and earlier. we havetried leting him cry it out which was awfull so bad in fact my next doot neighboor told me she had to buy earplugs. i felt so bad. what the hell am i doing wrong. he has agreat bed time routine and goes down without a peep. i am struggling at work and to top it all off i have had an infection from a burst appendix and then a mc so feeling crappy. pls help me.

OP posts:

foundintranslation · 06/12/2006 11:42

I'm sorry things are crap, Lynsey

how long have you stuck to the things you've tried. You might need to persist a bit e.g. with later bedtime (which is what I'd recommend tbh) to get it to work.

If we could get ds (18mo) to bed at 6 or 7pm, he'd be up at 4.30 or 5 too. As it is, he goes at 9, we hardly have an evening but are woken at the relatively humane time of 6.30-7.30.

Does your ds have a nap? How long for, and when in the day?

2boysmacca · 06/12/2006 12:52

My eldest was always an early riser and the later we put him to bed the earlier he would wake, we tried everything. Fortunately at about 2.6 he finally slept passed 5am. Not much help, but I truly believe some kids are early risers and some aren't.

If he wakes screaming perhaps he's not ready to wake so would you consider bringing him into your bed for that extra hour or so?

puddytats · 06/12/2006 12:56

DS aged 3 has only just started sleeping thro and waking up at 7am (esed to be 4-5 every day). Thought i would go mad some days. We tried everything but in the end it took bribery - 'you stay all night in your bed until mummy opens your door and you will get xxxxx' sometimes it was a sweet, sometimes make and do before breakfast, etc. But if hw got up before we opened his door we took away a favourite toy that he got back the following morning if he slept all night. For the last 2 weeks we have not had to take anything away!
Hope that helps

Original poster

LynseyM · 06/12/2006 14:58

Thanks guys ive calmed down now phew hes having anap. the thing is wedid try a later bed time but he still woke early, weve tried bringing him intoour bed but he just screams and gets up..arrggh. the hv said he would just grow out it butim not sure how dp and i will survive were already at each others throats.Also childcare only give him a1hrnap a day and say he refuses to go for another so by the time i pick him up hes sooo tired and often cries thru to bed time hence having toput him in bed by 7. some of the week he is homewith me and i force him to nap inhis cot 2 or 3 times a day even if it means 5 mins of whining i dont care cos i know he needs it. i know this means he doesnt really have a routineof naps because the nursery will do it different to me but i have to work or we would have zero cash to live on. because he has napped twice today i will try a later bed tonight

OP posts:

2boysmacca · 06/12/2006 15:42

Mine wouldn't ahve a daytime nap unless I was cuddling him on our bed. We used to have to put him to bed at 5.30/6.00 to cope with the day as he was just so tired.
We are going through it again with ds2 (9 months) he is an early riser too and no matter how late I put him to bed he still gets up at about 5.00/5.30. Dh cannot cope with an early rise (he's up in the week but weekends are a nightmare) and we have constant rows and bicker because we are so tired. I just know it will pass and in another 2 years it'll be 6.30!

sunnysideup · 06/12/2006 16:11

sorry to hear how difficult things are lynsey. I just wanted to sympathise as my ds has always been an early riser too; many times we tried a later bedtime but this had no effect; basically no matter what time he goes to bed he is up at 6am. This is nowhere near as bad as 4 in the morning but when he is ill we have those times too! So what we have done is give him an early bed because I feel he thrives and develops best on being in bed 6 - 6....we can't force him to sleep later but we can start his bedtime routine really early so that he gets optimum hours of kip.

Our ds always played happily in his cot though, so we at least were able to doze about until our getting up time at 7ish; however we buggered things up for ourselves by moving house, DH now needs to get up at 6 and DS understandable insecurities from the move mean he wants us straight away now!

I think what I'm getting at is try to encourage him to play in his cot until you get him; give him a clear choice, if he plays up on your bed and won't let you rest, then plonk him back in the cot; if he kicks up a huge fuss then tell him he can come and be with you if he's quiet....hth?

sunnysideup · 06/12/2006 16:13

sorry, meant to add the other thing with ds being in bed by 6pmish is that we often force ourselves to bed early too; I aim for 10pm (and fail at this loads but that's my choice!) because if I have slept from 10pm then I am much better able to cope with a 5am wake-up (we've had loads of these lately as ds has been ill).

skerriesmum · 06/12/2006 16:43

Try not letting him sleep past 2:00 or 3:00 pm. This is what I had to do at that age, then he'd go down by 8 and sleep sometimes till 6 or 7.

Original poster

LynseyM · 06/12/2006 19:31

well...tonight i was aiming forded at 7.30 but he was oo tired he was in bed by 7.20.i think he will still get up at 4 cos like u guys said it doesnt seem to makea difference wot time he goes down at.... hmmph. anyway i was going to say when he does wake in the morning he screams and cries as he is still knacked. he has huge bags under his eyes. i think he needs to sleep longer but just cant seem to settle after this time but can any other time day or night. its not like hes ready for the day awake hes still soooo tired in the morning. he is teething badly and i dnt know if this has something to do with it. im just hoping he will go back to 6am i know its still early but so much better than this 4 business.
I have to go for a sleep for about two hours some nights and often in bed by 9 or 10. Luckily i have sky plus so record all my programs and watch them in the morning while ds eats his toast.

OP posts:

tribpot · 06/12/2006 19:44

MAJOR sympathies. We are in a similar position sleep-wise, and it is godawful. Ds is also normally grumpy as buggery in the morning because he's woken so early.

Why won't the nursery let him sleep longer than an hour? Or is it more the case that he needs more peace and quiet for sleeping than a nursery can provide? My ds absolutely will not go for a second nap, even if he has fallen asleep for a matter of seconds in the car seat, we have to be very careful about this - it's extremely irritating.

It sounds from what you've said that the nursery need to be more flexible about sleep times. Having said that, I have no idea what I'm talking about so ignore me if it's a stupid suggestion.

Sorry as well to hear about your own health problems A lot to deal with.

Original poster

LynseyM · 06/12/2006 20:06

Thanks tribot. I think i feel even more exhausted cos of these damn infections, after the mc I had no follow up and no dnc. i told the doc i was bleeding constantley and she just said oh dont worry its just your period but turns out i have had infections and not known.
Dp and i have said ds needs a second or longer nap at nursery but they just say oh hes been fine he wont go for another nap, but he does sleep in a travel cot right next to the playing/crying kids, who cant help it I know, but they dont have a quiet room for him. when at home he is in a pitch black warm cosey room and can sleep nearly 2 hours. Im thinking about changing to a child minder but dont know what to do really. plus nursery have just put their prices up. I was out one night very drunk in a club with my friend when i seen one of the young girls who works at the nursery.she was also very drunk and was telling meshe only gets paid £70 a week!!! I was likewot!!! we pay £300 for two days a week. crazy

OP posts:

naughtymummy · 06/12/2006 20:40

Sympathies, sounds like you have your hands full. DS is also an early riser and was regularly waking before 6 at 12months, things we have tried with varying sucess are;

Consistent later bedtime (do sn't work for first few nights- need to stick at it), also has diminshing returns eg go to bed 1/2 hour later gets up 15 mins later.
Do n't let him nap too early (this is the easiest to implement)as night time sleep can get detactched and taken as an early nap IYSWIM. I did find this worked when he started getting up earlier and earlier.
Do n't let him get too tired let him have a later/ longer nap.
Snack befroe bed (forgot that tonight)

Letting him cry never worked as you say he became hysterical.
I was lucky enough to have a very experienced childminder who would n't let him sleep before lunch even if this meant giving him lunch at 1130 then he would sleep for 21/2 hrs so not too tired in evening, on this routine at your DS age he slept 8-615/630 not perfect but the best we could do. She also gave him naps in a darkened quiet room until he was 2.

Think your nursery should be working with you on this.1 hour nap is not enough for most children of this age.

As others have said some children/people have a tendency to early rising but i think it can be controlled- good luck and i hope you feel better soon

mummouse · 07/12/2006 21:07

My 9 month old just the same. Exhausted because me 3 yr old also waking many times in the night and going to work. Feel a bit desperate. I think naughtymummy is exactly right- try later bedtimes but need to stick with it for at least 5 days which is really hard when they are so tired. If I keep mine up an extra 40 mins she will sleep in for 20mins longer which does help in the early morning!
Good luck. you are not alone

FrayedKnotRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 07/12/2006 21:15

What time does he have his nap?

DS started waking later when I managed to get him down to one nap a day (around 14 months) - at 1pm.

Before that he had 2 naps a day, one around 10.30, one around 2.30, each for an hour or so, and was waking at 6 every morning (5.30 on a bad day).

Bedtime has always been 7 - 7.30ish as he is always ready for it then.

Once he started having the afternoon nap only, he started waking after 7am and now sleeps until 8 or so at weekends (never, ever thought I would be saying that! he is 2.8)

There is hope!

FrayedKnotRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 07/12/2006 21:16

Meant to say, if he is waking at 4am, you will have to move his nap forward gradually, as I can't see how he could go from 4am 'til 1pm!

DontlookatmeImshy · 07/12/2006 21:23

Have youtried putting him to bed earlier.

sounds contrary I know but lots of people (including me) have found it works.

Apparently it works because if youput them to bed earlier they aren't so tired/overtired and therefore sleep better and therefore longer as opposed to keeping them up later which makes them more tired and sleep even worse. (Or something like that anyway)

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