Anyone on for another 4 month sleep regression hand-holding thread?!

[uppereastsidemom]

DD2 is 16 weeks and had been doing 7pm - woken up at 11.30ish for a feed - 5 or 6am. Happy days.

She is now waking up anytime between 7 and 10pm, going back down but reliably waking up for 2-3 hours between 3 and 6am. It is torture. I know this is a predictable phase that will pass, but christ it is miserable.

Waiting to see what tonight brings . I know there had been an active thread that seems to have died - hopefully meaning that all those babies are now sleeping beautifully

Yeah. So he usually feeds to sleep, and his feed lasts about 20-30 minutes. He can then sleep for an hour before waking up for his next feed.
What's the worst that can happen, he wakes up. At least he'll associate the moses basket with an earlier sleep. I guess I should just keep putting him back in it and persevere for a week, see what happens.

So, turns out the first rule of Sleep Club is: you don't boast about your baby having a good night! After 3 nights of only 2 wakings, it's business as usual. Tonight I was hopeful as she slept till 1am...but it's 3am now and she's still awake. Wtf is wrong with her??? I honestly think she just hates sleep and doesn't need much of it. It's been 20 weeks now and I'm so fucking fed up. It feels so very unfair. I dread night time now. I don't think I'll ever get a good night's sleep again. There's no point in hoping it will get better because it just won't.

Purpleboa im in the same boat, it sucks. You see people out an about with their babies looking lively and happy and i just think well you must have a baby that sleeps. I was at a family do the other day and someone asked re ds "is he good" (cringe- as if babies are good or bad) and i was speaking about lack of sleep and said to one of dhs relatives, who is pregnant with 4th child, i dont know how you do it and she replied "oh i just put all my kids down in cot and they fell asleep straight away no problem" jelous is not the word.

oh purpleboa I really hope things pick up for you soon. I think the people who have perfect sleepers have often CIOd though so I'm not that jealous.

I had a good night last night (NOT boasting at all if you're watching, Fate!) She fed at 10.30 just after I went to bed and then woke up at 4.30 - I'll take that!! and she did go back to sleep at 5.15 after 45 mins of grabbing my face. Problem is I'm not sure why, I changed loads of things last night. I put her in a sleep suit and vest under her sleeping bag (usually she's in a vest and PJ tops so this time her legs were covered too), DH has been sleeping in another room so I scooted over to his side to try and stop her smelling the milk so easily, I didn't feed her to sleep but let her 'self settle' (ish) in my arms as I sang to her, but she also only napped for about 30 mins yesterday. I thought I'd be in for a really bad night! Maybe making her really really tired is the answer? but doesn't make for a happy child!

Well done fluff!!! That's amazing... try ALL of those things again tonight!!

And purple good that she's done some good nights, gives you hope at least!

My little darling has got himself into a routine the past week but it's a shit one of 5 wake ups... every 2 hrs till 3am then hrly till 530am when my DH just gets up with him. I'm at my lowest ebb today. Eurgh. He also refuses to suck his thumb now so I spend 30 mins at nap time battling to get him down and then give up and put him in the sling. I literally don't have any time to myself now. Oh and I have a 2 yr old to look after.

DS is nearly 5 months ffs.... please tell me this will all change somehow... Can't keep feeding him back to sleep x5 every night!

Hey spillyo, think I remember you from the waiting to give birth thread? Sorry to hear things are so hard for you too. Yes, I have a friend whose baby sleeps soundly for 12 hours every night...yet she was complaining because baby was 'only' sleeping for 45 minutes in her cot for her morning nap!! You just can't understand it unless it's happening to you. It's hard though, to think of all those perfect little sleepers when my DD is wriggling about and shouting at 4am, and wondering why she can't be like them!

Hugs Starfish. That's pretty brutal. I really hope it improves soon for you. DD doesn't seem to have a routine of any sort. Every night is different these days. Last night she got to sleep eventually at 5 and slept till 7.15. I ended up using every weapon available to me - rocking, shushing and nursing - and they still weren't enough :(

Next week we're going to move her into her own room. Seems daft when she's on so many wakings, but I'm hoping it will help!

The worst thing about all this? (Apart from the perma exhaustion and appearance of an 80 year old bag lady). How much you grow to doubt yourself and your ability as a mother. I no longer know what is right, and even if I did, hell, I'm too tired to try it. I just go for the easiest option to get her to sleep. Hate the idea of sleep training and it sounds hellish! But not doing it maybe makes me a bad parent??

No one here is a bad parent or should out themselves. I know I've said it before so sorry if I'm repeating but I've had a good sleep and a bad sleeper.

Having said that I've ended up doing some things differently, but that's partly as a result of me trying to help the baby because they're so different.

Purple if you need to do cc then don't feel guilty, I'm not keen on cc, but, sleep deprivation is so horrendous.

I did cc with ds1, but, he never cried for more than a couple of minutes, and he never got hysterical, it was more moaning and grizzling.

I don't like cc now because of things I've read, but, sometimes we end up unintentionally doing it a bit. Ds had been grizzling for a nap since 9am, he wouldn't settle in my arms he was arching his back so I popped him on his mat. He was nearly going off but kept waking back up, I sat with him holding his hand stroking his face and he was having none of it. In the end I was so desperate for a cup of coffee and my porridge which I hadn't had yet, that I went off to the kitchen to make it. I could hear him getting upset and in the end was full blown crying. I came back in popped his dummy in and stroked his face and he's finally gone off.

... wish I'd used a dummy on mine sigh

I'm not sure on them. He constantly loses it and cries, he pulls it out and fusses but he does want it back but he's discovered this plastic thing to play with. They drop on the floor, so annoying.

I only use it for sleep as if like to wean him off it eventually.

Don't think I'd have coped without it in the early weeks though.

Oh dear DD is being very growth spurty today - whingy but sleeping a lot too so thinking last night was a fluke.

purpleboa you're doing great, going into a separate room might be the clincher - dd was definitely better with me further away last night.

Thanks purple, crazy how you have ideas about parenthood untill they're here and you end up doing the thing thatcworks even if you swore you wouldnt!

I think my boy is teething- felt something sharp in his gums earlier so I damn well hope it's a tooth!
so maybe it's not a sleep regression after all. I have no idea. I keep doubting myself.
He's 4 months tomorrow. Is it too early to do a pick up/put down or shush pat method? I suspect he'll have to have pupd as he's clingy lately.

My dd got 2 teeth within a week of each other at 4 months and got very clingy. I'd just ride it out as they're clingy for a reason.

How was everyone's nights?

Saranga, definitely not too early to do shush pat/PUPD - sometimes it works for us and I've often managed to resettle her with shush pat.

Definitely think DD is teething. No sign of tooth but classic symptoms.

Not the best night again. But better than the previous one - at least I managed to get her resettled after wakings!

Just want some reassurance that I'm not alone with this. My first time mums whatsapp chat is this morning filled with perfectly sleeping babies and I'm feeling rather alone. You all get it, yes??

Totally get it purple.... been in tears again this am. X6 wakeups - all boobed back to sleep followed by 5 15am start and a refusal to nap in cot.

Oh well I suppose it can only get better

The last two nights have actually been pretty good. 2 nights ago it was feed at 9.30, 2 and 5 wake up at 7.
Last night fed to sleep at 7.30, woke up for a poo at 11.30, quick feed back to sleep, then 3 and 6. I think co sleeping us working.
Unfortunately I don't think I can keep doing it as my boy is sleeping on his side and its just not safe.

My night was pretty shit. After talking on another thread i thought ds might be over tired so tried putting down earlier. He went down at 8.30 till 10.30 (but took him an hour of feeding, most of which he was sleep sucking but woke annoyed if boob was taken away) then didnt go back down till 2.30. I tried everything, shush pat, rocking, more boob (didnt want it) pupd, singing, cuddling, pram walking around...he just cried the whole time. After going down at 2.30 he was up again at 3.30. Then he didnt go to sleep again until he was in car on way to asda at 12 today! Hes obviously tired as he groans and rubs his eyes but he just wont effing sleep no matter what i do!

Ugh I think he woke up every hour last night. We are going to start PUPD tonight.

He went to sleep at 7.45 ish on me. Put him in his Moses and he woke at about 8/8.10.
Did PUPD, with near incessant wailing, till 9.15 when I fed him.
9.50 brought him upstairs and he slept till midnight.
Picked up, fed, till 12.50 when ws well and truly aslepp. Woke up after 1. But windy,bit of spit up now feeding/sleeping on me.
What am I doing wrong. At this rate I'll still be up trying to settle him at 3am.
I end up hating everyone when I'm up at these times.

Saranga your not alone that sounds like what mine is like! Im so grumpy to everyone...its hard not to take it out on everyone

Up every two hours last night again after a few days where I thought things might be improving. Dh is now out of the rio every nights to ensure he gets enough sleep for work but I'm exhausted. When will it end ???

I'm wondering whether ds is having a 5 month sleep regression he seems to wake every hour and now takes ages to go back off after his feed.

Rio= room

Saranga - so my previous experience of sleep regression was that my DS couldn't switch off so instead of usual self settling for naps and night time I had to resort to buggy walks and cuddles/rocking in the night. Once the regression was over things improved. This was for the 9 and 18 month regression. We didn't notice the 4 month one as sleep was so shit then anyway. I guess what I'm saying is that you might be wise to just do whatever it takes to get your baby to sleep during a regression and work on sleep training / encouragement afterwards? Otherwise you will drive yourself mad trying to change a situation that is impossible to change? There is a wonder week 19 so maybe worry about it after week 20? (I know all babies are different and it may last longer/shorter then this).

Saying that DS2 is driving me round the twist. Wakes every 2 hrs demanding boob back to sleep and now refuses to nap in his cot. Today began at 420 with his first 'nap' in the sling at 6am.

Starfish - I see what you are saying. I am kind of tempted to just leave it, but the main thing that regression (if that's what it is) has changed is him not wanting to sleep in the moses.
Up until last week he was sleeping in it fine, then I gave up and put him in my bed.
Given how we are told to put them in the moses from birth I don't think it's a bad thing to try and get him back in there. I'll deal with the night wakings - I know can't change those as this regression is just something he'll go through.

But I doubt myself and think I'm being cruel for wanting him in the moses. Logical me says I'm not, emotional me says I am.