14 week old fighting bedtime - help!

[Frustratedmummy79]

My 14 week old has been fighting bedtime for the last couple of weeks (since her 2nd lot of imms incidentally but that could just be coincidence). She naps without too much fuss during the day but bedtime takes at least an hour and a half to get her to go down and get into a deep sleep. After bath I BF her and she usually falls asleep in my arms. I try and rouse her slightly so she's not waking up somewhere different and that's the problem. She tends to sleep in her crib for 5-15 mins and then wakes up screaming. We then have another hour or so trying to resettle her until eventually she's exhausted and gives up, never before 8pm. I've tried making sure she's tired and making sure she's not overtired but it seems to make no difference. Even my normally endlessly patient DH was feeling the strain last night (we tend to take it in turns as neither of us can stand the screaming for too long!). It's not colic just seems to be fighting the sleep process and is outraged that we're trying to get her to sleep!! Previously I would have just put up with it but we have a 3yo who is being disturbed by the bedtime antics and is becoming a very tired boy
Any advice or suggestions gratefully received!

No advice, but my almost 4 month old so similar age is doing the same sort of thing, really hard for her to drop off completely at bedtime, wakes up screaming until I bf her but still doesn't really get into a deep enough sleep so it's hit and miss when I put her down if she'll just scream again.

I also have a 2…5 yo, she seems to sleep through much of it although was just found wandering round in our room so maybe not...

I'd try feeding her again. At that age, if it cried, I put milk in it!

fwiw, we didn't bother with bedtime at that age. She just stayed with us and fed and snoozed as she wanted until we went to bed, then she had a final sleep and went in her bedside crib when we went to sleep.

It's just so frustrating, especially at the end of the day when I'm desperate for a break. By the time she's asleep, I've tidied the toys away and loaded the dishwasher (quietly!!) it seems to be bedtime! Tonight I've splashed out and done the ironing - having a late night!!!

It's hit and miss as to whether feeding again works - tonight that did the trick but last night nothing worked. She tends to fall straight to sleep on the boob but wakes when she hits the crib after the first 10 min stretch

At 14 weeks you really don't need to be stressing or worrying about baby having a 'bedtime'. Just let her daytime snooze as she would through the day until you go to bed.

Plenty of time to establish a bedtime very easily in a couple of months time.

My 12 week old generally doesn't settle until 10ish. I know it'll be difficult with you having another child to put to bed, but we just keep her downstairs with us and then I usually go to bed with her when she settles.

a bit young to have a bed time, imo, stick with it if you like, but in all honesty, you are just making work for your self.

My ds done this too, for about a fortnight, then settled again. So not real got advice except to say keep going with your routine so that bubs can at least be comforted by nearly knowing what to expect at bedtime. You doubt everything you do though when your usual stops working- you try changing routine etc but I honestly think they just go through spells of being unsettled at night as we try and make bedtime the same time but they are changing from needing to sleep more to sleeping less. I found reading up about wake times for each stage really helped me sort out naps and bed time.

Also BF to sleep, then that stopped working and I was the same as you, couldn't settle him. DS now 20 weeks and will settle in his cot after being put down awake after his feed. Take comfort it will pass. I say just keep going with your routine (plus the settling) and in a fortnight you'll be back to having an easy settler again.

I have a similar age baby and an older dc. We have put an electric fan in the older dcs bedroom and this seems to create the right amount of noise to block out the crying and help him sleep. Your baby sounds pretty normal with regards to her bedtime routine, mines is certainly not reliable. In fact last night me and Dh were scratching our heads as to why she was still awake at midnight. I know how you feel about not getting a minute to yourself even when the older one is in bed but think it helps just to go with the flow!

My suggestion would be not trying to rouse her after BF - she is still very little and it's normal for her to fall asleep while feeding. That's what we did with our two until they were quite a bit older, as part of a bedtime routine, and it kept bedtime more peaceful for everyone.

Thanks everyone. I've decided to just accept that bedtime is going to be a protracted affair and am seeing it as time to catch up on Facebook, emails etc while she feeds/sleeps/feeds endlessly! Keeping her downstairs with us doesn't really work as she's more unsettled with the TV on/chatting etc and the lounge is directly below my DS room so if she gets screamy then he's still disturbed.
Had a better night tonight - still a long bedtime but less screaming, probably because everytime she woke up I fed her again! Will just keep plodding on. It's all just a phase, it's all just a phase......

Good luck, hope things improve soon!