13 month old sleep regression

[Strawberry1979]

Please help us. Our daughter used to go down at about 8 after feed and sleep through to 5am. We used controlled crying which worked really well. Now she just will not go to sleep in her cot. We tried controlled crying again but she keeps throwing up. She cries and screams. We gave up after 2 hours last night because she was screaming so much. She sleeps in our bed now but this means one of us has to stay with her because it's not safe on her own. I miss my husband. We never see each other now. I'm resenting my daughter and am at wits end. What do I do? Any advice would be appreciated. What did we do wrong?

If for any reason I have to leave my daughter to cry in her cot for a short time (for example if I am on the toilet when she starts crying, or don't hear her straight away) then I tend to find she is more clingy for the next few times she goes into her cot. It is like she remembers being left so needs reassurance to know I won't leave her again.

I wonder if your daughter might be feeling a little insecure in her cot (or her room). So maybe being patient and staying with her as a comfort and reassurance in her cot will help? It might take a few weeks, maybe even a few months for her to feel the trust and security so she feels safe and comforted enough to sleep on her own in her cot, but with some care and patience she should get there.

We took our bed down and have the mattress on the floor, against the wall at 1 side, and pillows on the other.
1 year old DD goes to sleep there, DP and I start off in the spare bed and I co-sleep with DD when she wakes up around midnight.
Bit extreme taking the bed down but it works for us. Would doing that be possible? Making it safe for if/when she crawls out?