4 month sleep regression- oh.my.god.

[hazel88]

So my DD has just hit the 4 month sleep regression hard. It sucks. It really sucks. for a short while she had been doing 6 hour chunks for the first part of the night followed by 1 or 2 wakings after. On the rare occasion she would just wake up once for a feed then that was it. BLISS. She's now waking up more times than I can count and I'm wondering if she'll ever sleep better again. I know about the 4 month sleep regression inside-out but would really appreciate experiences from others who have either gone through it or are going through it. I need some sanity restored...please?!

Holy hell!

I think today was sent especially to make me okay with going back to work in a fortnight :(

Lovely morning, then I stupidly decided to get all fancy pants and put her in her cot for her morning nap,whereas she normally has this in her buggy. Settled brilliantly, slept for 15 min, then, bang, awake! Would not resettle. Got her up at long last, tried buggy nap. I walked for an hour and a half with her! Some sleep but really not enough. Plus it was super misty and humid today so looked like some type of swamp creature by the end - of course I ran into the most put together mum from NCT ended up driving for her second nap as couldn't face a repeat but she didn't manage the full hour then either. Then, settling her tonight seemed to work like a charm until I actually put her down whereupon she decided it was playtime.... For TWO HOURS. I eventualiy fed to sleep.

She's just called DH up. I predict a long night.

Sorry for the one-woman pity party.....but waaaah, it was going so well! Okay will read back!

Zombie my goodness, you are amazingly strong to deal with everything you have. Condolences for your poor, lovely little sweet baby. that really puts everything into perspective.

Sycamore you were due a break!

Mari congrats! What a good choice you made. I am going to put off cc for a bit, but it's so reassuring to know it's there if we do decide to go that route.

Zombie I wouldn't have been able to resist the cuddles either. Hope you didn't regret it as much as you predicted

Sycamore that is a bloody brilliant night! Hope this time it turns out not to be a one off! Even if you have another blip, eventually those good nights are going to come in a row.

RP that sounds like a full on day. Hopefully DD gave you a rest overnight!

Another 'since the regression' pb for us last night so maybe you were right about the rolling tiring her out Zombie She did take about 45 mins to go off as despite being super tired and sleepy (eye rubbing pretty much constant) she then had a little rolling session and woke herself up When she eventually settled though her first chunk was 5.5 hours then had one more wake at 3.30 then she was up for the day at 5.50 doing yet more rolling! Pretty happy with NCSS so far! Am in no way prepared for a backward step or 2 but.....progress!!

Rp sounds exactly like my night the other night! Hope she settles for you!

Penguin that's great!

I am in shock. Got ds to sleep last night around 8.30 after 3 cuddle sessions didn't hear a peep from him until 4am when he woke up for a bottle, then he went straight back to sleep until just before 7 I know it's probably a one off but it was amazing!

Penguin , that is good progress !
RP- sounds like yesterday was rough! I remember walking for miles and miles with my ds ( can't with dd as I have ds too ) he would sleep but dare I stop for a coffee and he would wake straight away. The other Nct babies would be fast asleep for a couple of hours , I was very jealous !
Last night was rough for me :-( calpol didn't make a difference to the wake ups. She was farting ( sorry ) all night so I don't know if she had tummy pain . Least I got a bit of sleep the night before ....

Zombie , that's great ! So pleased you had a good night. Hopefully you will get good naps today also

Yay Zombie that is awesome!!! one up me why don't you? you need a break so very pleased for you.

Sycamore how frustrating My DD suffers a lot with wind and at one point she would do a massive fart at every wakeup. That's one of the things I am hoping osteo might help with.

I did osteo when dd was about 4 weeks before her reflux and cmpi was diagnosed . It did help with wind but it's just so expensive. I think she reacts to foods I eat , I had pasta last night , think I will try wheat free.

I'm fully expecting it to be a one off though!

Sycamore ds is still a lot like that with his farts, some days it seems to bother him more. Maybe it's a cmpi thing.

Zombie , does your ds have cows milk now ?
Dd has been really hard work this afternoon , I hope it's the teeth about to cut ...

Oh no sycamore can you see them about to come through? I'm dreading when ds gets them

No he still has the allergies, he has a dietitian appt in two weeks to check on his weaning etc then he has one 3 months after where they will start the milk ladder I'm terrified as he was so bad before, I just really hope he's grown out of it.

He also may be allergic to egg and a slight banana allergy. Not
Too sure though it could of been a coincidence with the egg, maybe he just got a virus after. And the banana he tends to get little rashes but he likes it and has no other symptoms so I don't know!

Penguin and Zombie, wowsers! Well done both

So today, much better. We had one 25 min nap, then one 1hr 50min one then a 45 min one. Amazingly after all that she started crying for bed 25 min early! She was so desperate I couldn't even finish Goodnight Moon. Then she went all funny and we had a bit of a struggle but went down nearly an hour ago and touch wood nothing since. By contrast it took four goes to settle her last night and then we had a 10.30 wake up as well

So back on game tonight, delatching after feeds and putting back semi awake in her own bed! Bring it on.

Sounds like a great game plan RP! Hope it goes well. I think having it clear in your head what you are going to do before the night actually starts is really helpful.

We had a slightly weird bedtime here too. DD took half an hour to calm down after yet another rolling practice session at bedtime. The attached pic was my view on monkey-cam 15 mins after I thought she had settled

Interested to see what the night brings. ...

Rp hope you had a good night!

Penguin the site won't let me on to see what you put on!

Yep the other night was a one off. Although he went down 8.30 - 3 ok, then he woke up and wouldn't sleep so I fed to sleep again although I did the thing of removing the bottle when he slowed down. He then had multiple wake ups and was up at 5

Thought this might interest you, I am on a cb group for cmpi, everyone I there has currently going mad over camomile tea before bed. Some people are saying it's making their cd sleep through the night.

Haven't read much into it yet but it's worth a mention I think

Interesting zombie!!

So last night NOT good and I did not cover myself in glory she woke briefly before ten but DH settled her. We went to bed around 11.45 and she was sleeping deeply. Stupidly I had a whispered conversation with DH and she only went and woke right up. I tried settling her, didn't work, DH tried, didn't work, I fed to sleep TWICE in desperation, also didn't work, eventually I got frustrated and moaned to DH that I couldn't cope so DH took over and sorted it out.

Poor bloke, he had come in after a long day and commute, cooked dinner and then he had to sort the baby out too at nearly one in the morning. We ended up co sleeping as I was so angry with myself for getting all moany and whingey and frustrated.

Poor little baby, I'm looking at her now in her bouncer with her sweet little head and chubby wrists. How could I feel frustrated??

Hey. Sorry your night wasn't amazingZombie although a chunk of 6.5 hours is still great! Good for you trying the NCSS method. Does your DS tend to have the same amount when he has a feed and did he have significantly less because of the withdrawing the bottle? If he is used to more cals overnight he may need a more gradual reduction maybe?

The pic I posted was of DD on the baby monitor happily playing on her tummy after I'd left her to drift off! (Facepalm)

RP please don't be too hard on yourself. I have rarely experienced frustration like when you are trying to get a baby to sleep and it isn't working. Feeling so powerless topped off with negative automatic thoughts about how I must be a terrible parent and that DD was obviously never going to sleep better are a toxic cocktail that make me feel so angry. Today is a new day and a new chance for things to improve. Also re DH. Yes he had a long day but so had you. Don't feel guilty about him doing his share. I read on a thread on MN, might even have been this one, someone who said she considered she was working full-time looking after the baby just as DH was working full-time in an office and that outside 'working hours' they were equally responsible for childcare and everything else. Made sense to me!

Our night was pretty good! 3 wake-ups, longest stretch from 7.30 till 23.15. I have managed to reduce feeds down to 2.5 minutes and after a momentary squawk she settles fine when put down but still haven't managed to get over the hurdle of cot-based settling. Will keep trying as it's early days really. At 4am I gave her a decent feed and she went through till 6.40 which feels pretty darned civilised

Rp as someone said to me on here the other day, you aren't frustrated with dd, you are frustrated with the situation. I have been there and then I feel awful the next morning looking at his lovely smiley face. I try to keep thinking positive I know it's near impossible when your exhausted, settle them then they wake up as soon as your head hits the pillow you are doing great and we will all get there eventually hopefully bloody soon!

Penguin sounds like you had a good night

I had started giving ds 1oz less than usual at night, then last night I took the bottle out his mouth with 1oz left in it. I might trying to make up a 6oz bottle tonight (he has 8 in the day) then I worry it will make him wake up even earlier! I suppose if I don't try it il never know!

Hi all,

Sorry for being absent for a few days and sorry for the following self-cenered post!

So while we were away DD was better than expected and actually slept better than at home!! I think it was because the air con was on all night so we could bundle her up and she was snuggly. We cant do this at home as its too stuffy. We got back Sunday where she had a 6 hour chunk at night and 2 wake ups, then Monday we tried cc and that night she did AN 8 HOUR CHUNK!! Never before has that happened and that was the only wake up. It was bloody amazing! Her naps were also great which she had 3x over-an-hour. Fab. Yesterday's naps were crap again, and she woke 3 times last night. Today's naps have all been about half an hour.

Now I know you're all going to wonder what the hell I'm complaining about...but I've been feeling so low recently, to the point where I worry myself. I have no energy or drive to get up in the morning and I'm sick of the monotony of day-to-day life. I didn't feel this bad when DD had 10 wake ups a night recently. I know things have still improved which I should be happy about, but I can't help feeling this way. DD has been grumpy the past couple of days as she tired, she's also gone off of her food. I don't think it's teething.

Day in, day out everything is the same. I try to go out every day but I often don't have a real reason to go out and am now struggling to find the drive to go out without a purpose. There's so much to do around the house but not only do I not have the time but I don't have the motivation. Today, DD kept me so busy I didn't even brush my teeth until 11am.

DP is being very supportive and doing everything he can but he can't really do any more and I'm fed up of moaning every day to him. He must think 'give it a rest!'.

I'm due to have a meeting at work in the next few weeks to discuss my return. I've already phoned HR and asked what would happen if I were to be signed off (I can't return to work like this) and they said that I would be entitled to 5 months full pay and 5 months half. I work for the NHS. DP is always stressing the importance of me returning to work. I don't think I'd feel half as bad or pressured if I knew I didn't have to return. It doesn't help that the women I worked with bullied me about being pregnant before I left.

DD'S last nap was 30 mins then after an hour she's mega grouchy and obviously tired. She can usually stay awake 2 hours at a time now. I've just put her down after an hour awake and I'm still going with the cc. I put her down and she sobbed and now I am as well. I just don't know what to bloody do, I feel like I can't do right. I can't make her happy or myself. I just feel that I'm not cut out to be a parent, like I don't get the enjoyment out of it that I should. I love my baby to pieces, I really do. But I can't help but (with massive guilt) feel a little resentment towards her and miss my old life. I couldn't be without my DD now, she's such a darling. I feel absolutely dreadful about feeling this way, the guilt is overwhelming. I could never tell these feelings to anyone else. I already feel that people think I'm a bad Mum when I tell them were sleep training, but these people either don't have kids or just don't understand as they haven't been there.

I'm sorry to have such a moan but I feel I can't talk to anyone else

Oh hazel I'm crap with words, I really don't know what to say. Ds is exactly the same, constantly grouchy. The other night when he slept well it was like he was back to his normal self and happy but I don't know why he has one random good night. I hope someone comes along and says something usefu soon x

Thanks Zombie, sorry to hear you're in the same boat.

I don't really want anyone to say anything, just makes you feel better letting it all out sometimes doesn't it!

Hazel I felt like this with my first , your first is so hard ! Nothing can ever prepare you for the sleep deprivation and total change of life ! I still miss my old life and miss work ( I Was made redundant during maternity leave ) and sometimes I even dream about having a weekend to myself , we don't have much family support so haven't been away for the night on our own for over three years , which I find hard .
I think it's completely normal to have these feelings even though your children are your world . It is relentless but it will get better , I promise ! Well done on the wight hour chunk btw.
Sorry to hear about the rubbish nights , my night was horrendous again ! It's frustrating
Penguin, your dd looks adorable in that photo !!!

Hazel I'm sorry you are feeling so low. Looking after a grumpy baby can be so tough, especially with little respite. I have had some very low points as you have seen on this thread. It is so so normal not to enjoy it the whole time. You are doing a brilliant job, sleep training has obviously worked wonders for your DD and you have made such fab progress. More than that though, you are concerned first and foremost with your DD's well-being and you love her and that is all that she needs. Glad you are able to vent here, keep talking if it helps.

It sounds like a very stressful situation at work. I hope they were supportive when you said you might need to be signed off.

I had a mixed day. I think DD's second top tooth has got to the most painful part as she has been quite miserable at points and totally refused solids for lunch and tea. When she woke up from her second nap she was really unhappy poor thing. I cocked up nap timings too as she had two long naps (nearly 2 hours then another 1.5) but still needed another to make it till bedtime as she woke at 2. Took ages but I knew she wouldn't manage without so she went down from 6-6.30 No idea what this will do to sleep but miraculously she seems to have gone down ok at 7.30.....

Hazel do you think you have PND? I am no medic but it sounds like it to me. The feelings of guilt, worthlessness, the lack of drive.

Personally I think lack of sleep can do really wacky things to the brain. I had an eating disorder when I was at uni and slept really badly during that time. I had insane nightmares and also behaved in a really self destructive way. I think your brain chemistry can get out of kilter.

I know you didn't ask for advice but I'd book a double appt with your Gp and then go and lay the whole situation before them. I think they'll want to put you on ADs maybe? Anyhow I think you should also persevere with the cc as it sounds like that worked!

How are you now?

How are you feeling now hazel?

Ds went down at 7, he was exhausted. Fingers crossed we all have good nights.

I'm off to watch one born.... And get broody