4 month sleep regression- oh.my.god.

[hazel88]

So my DD has just hit the 4 month sleep regression hard. It sucks. It really sucks. for a short while she had been doing 6 hour chunks for the first part of the night followed by 1 or 2 wakings after. On the rare occasion she would just wake up once for a feed then that was it. BLISS. She's now waking up more times than I can count and I'm wondering if she'll ever sleep better again. I know about the 4 month sleep regression inside-out but would really appreciate experiences from others who have either gone through it or are going through it. I need some sanity restored...please?!

Thanks penguin .
She is already a bit propped up due to her reflux . I will make sure I dose her up with calpol tonight . The problem is she spits it out so I never jive how much she ends up having . I think you are bf , do you know how much caffeine and alcohol you can safely have I usually just have the one but I seriously needed more caffeine today . How was everyone's day ?

My go to source for anything bf related is KellyMom kellymom.com/bf/can-i-breastfeed/lifestyle/caffeine/ hope that helps!

DD hates having calpol so have had to develop a ridiculous method of sitting her in a bouncy chair and waving a toy to distract with one hand whilst squirting small amounts of calpol into her cheek with syringe in other hand! It does seem to help with less pink stickiness being dribbled out everywhere though

Thanks penguin , that's really helpful. I will try the bouncy chair method of giving calpol.

Sorry you had a crap night sycamore ()

Penguin I hadn't heard that about the teething, although I can't tilt ds cot as he moves around so much in it.

I'm so tired today. We had a good day in terms of naps but now he's so tired and just won't sleep I feel like crying.

I was ok haha u threw my dressing gown off and stamped on it it's got a big burn now though

It's so exhausting zombie . I feel your pain . Strange as I thought the better they nap the better they sleep at night . The times dd has napped well ( car journeys ) doesn't seem to make any difference whatever to the dreadful night sleep. I do feel broken tonight . DD went to sleep with dummy so it will no doubt get stuck behind her back soon so she will wake up !
Glad you are ok after the dressing gown incident. That's all you need ..

Sycamore it's horrible isn't it. Did she fall asleep quickly?

I feel useless, and I feel awful as I was getting stressed out. I resorted to feeding to sleep

Dm was messaging me and asked if he was asleep, I told her he had just gone to sleep after 2 hours and I ended up feeding to sleep and she's had a go at me saying I shouldn't be 'getting pissed off with him'. It's made me feel a million times worse I'm not pissed off at all I just get frustrated as I feel I can't give him what he needs

Hi all,,

Zombie, yeouch! Poor you. Don't stress if you have a bad night. They will happen. The main thing is, do you think there is progress overall?

I was looking back to my sleep logs which I did in late June and we were averaging 6-7 wake ups per night plus some "lively times" which lasted anywhere from ten to forty minutes

By contrast last night we put her to bed late after a day of slightly messed up naps, and had
1am, fed and then put back in cot awake, self settled at once
3.45, ditto!
6am took into bed and fed/co slept till 8

So not wonderful but a definite improvement.

sycamore God it's so tough! I think it is just finding the thing that is stopping sleep. Obvious as that sounds! Like, for us, I'm now fairly sure this was in large part hunger. Not entirely but the bottle of formula has definitely coincided with a generally happier baby and fewer wakings. I definitely think he osteo sounds like a good idea but tbh if it were me, with that level of wakings, I'd consider paying to see a sleep consultant.

Also you know this probably sounds like the ultimate first world ridiculous product....but if she sleeps in car/buggy, i.e. She likes motion....you know there is a thing you can buy that vibrates the cot like it's moving? It's a sort of board that hums and vibrates gently with the cot on top of it. I read about it on here but can't remember the brand name. Still, worth some digging?

Zombie at that....easy to say when you're not being kept up night after night, and also, of course there is a massive difference between natural frustration at the SITUATION which is not the same as being frustrated with your baby.

It's SO annoying when in theory they have had a great day and you have done everything 'right' and they just will not play ball!

Zombie you are not useless, that is the exhaustion talking. Feeding to sleep is actually completely natural - your milk even contains hormones that help your baby sleep. It might not be a healthy habit to do every time but sometimes you need to use every tool at your disposal. Oh and at your DM's 'helpful' comment. Feel free to ignore!

That is great progress RP! Hope it continues in the same vein!

DH waiting for me to finish typing so hurriedly ending here and wishing you all good nights!

Woohoo!! Three wake-ups and our longest stretch was 4 hours and I can't remember the last time that happened . Now of course I am worrying that it was a one-off just to tease us as has happened before! Still taking tiny steps towards settling in cot but not there yet though I keep trying. It will happen one day.

How did it go for everyone else?

Sycamore glad your making progress! Were you doing ncss too?

Penguin that's ace let's hope it just keeps getting better!

We had a bad night again. I lost count of all the wake ups. He woke up and was wide awake at 4am so I brought him into bed with me until he fell asleep again. Luckily he did and I managed to get him back down in his cot for a but. I need to do ncss but I get so tired at night it all seems to go out the window. I'm going to try harder from now on.

Sorry you had a rough night Zombie, I know that feeling of being so exhausted you just can't face rocking the boat. NCSS is good in that regard as you can make the steps as gradual, and therefore as manageable, as you like. I started off with settling DD using the exact same method I always did, bfing, just reducing the duration by a minute compared to usual which I could manage in my sleep-deprived state!

On reflection I hope that didn't sound like I suddenly think I have The Solution based on one better night! I most definitely am muddling through and blindly feeling my way as we all are!

How do you do it in the middle of the night when all you want to do is sleep is what I don't get I end up rocking him completely to sleep as I think it's just quicker,I know that's completely wrong as it won't do anything in the long run but he's up so much!

Think I'm going to re try it this week, properly!

I'm in a bit of a rut too. I'm so sick of him just screaming whenever I hold him, trying to get him to nap. I'm not even sure if he is tired anymore or not I'm pretty sure he is but he just screams if I try and get him to sleep and this morning is the first morning I can remember that dm hasn't text. She obviously thinks I'm useless too.

Onwards and upwards I suppose!

Zombie a couple of weeks ago I was exactly where it sounds like you are. I couldn't see a chink of light and being so exhausted coloured the way I was thinking and therefore feeling about everything. You are doing a great job. You love your baby and are responding to his needs and that makes you a wonderful parent.

One of the aspects of my CBT course has been learning to identify distorted thinking and assuming your DM thinks you are useless is most definitely a cognitive distortion. I'm sure she doesn't think that at all. Yes she made an unhelpful comment yesterday but it is a huge leap between that and thinking you are useless. I'm not sure if you know much about CBT but this link explains distorted thinking quite well

www.harleytherapy.co.uk/cognitive-distortions-cbt.htm
If you get a moment it is really worth looking at although I know it is very difficult finding the time. Would you speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself? I bet you would see an exhausted person doing their best in difficult circumstances but I bet you wouldn't think they were useless or tell them that. Sending you hugs of solidarity, a large vat of tea and some cake!

Thanks penguin, that does sound exactly like me right now is it the course that has made you feel better?

I just get so exhausted and worn down. And I had a dd who was stillborn last year, I had to
Chase the post mortem results for over a year and finally got them so I'm trying to sort all that out too which is also wearing me down I think.

I am so sorry you lost your baby Zombie. No wonder you are in a dark place with all that to deal with as well. Not that you ever really stop dealing with your loss but I am sure but I imagine your thoughts and feelings about it must be closer to the surface than ever. I can't presume to understand even a fraction of what you have gone through but it must be incredibly hard not having the time and space to process and deal with those feelings. Have you thought any more about approaching your doctor about counselling? I imagine in your circumstances there must be support available.

The link I sent is from a different page as the one I am doing requires a log in but it is based on the same ideas. I am still very much a work in progress but it is helping.

Thanks penguin, as it's took so long it's kind of like I'm being dragged through that pain all over again. I'm waiting for an appointment to discuss the results & counselling (I got pg the month after I lost dd)

Feeling more positive today though ds is on his second nap. I gave him Calpol as I think he still has a tummy bug for his first nap I've was just screaming so I left him playing until he couldn't play anymore!

Hello guys,

So sorry ive been quiet, had a chaos week!! DD1 came down with a horrible ear infection and we ended up in A&E, she was so so poorly for days, and then we got offered a last minute break away for a few days, so literally packed up and went!!

Im so so sorry to hear about you all still having a hard time, but I will write this post in hope that you will see there is light at the end...

I really really had a rough time with DD2, from 3.5months to 5.5months. I honestly thought things wouldnt get better... I googled and researched, I read and read for any solution I could find. As a last resort I, as you know decided CC was my only option. Now I know some wont agree that it could be an option, but I was at my wits end, I couldnt function, I felt unwell and I started to feel incapable of looking after my children. It really was that bad, my DH was worried my PND would flare up again ( so was I )

Anyway, we proceeded with CC, first night was the worst, but it wasnt as bad as I anticipated. During the night was tough too, but I stuck to it because I had too, I had to find a way to sort out this chaos. I knew my DD was capable of self soothing, but by fault of my own I never gave her the opportunity. Second night was by far easier.. crying went from 25 mins to 10, same during the night, by night 2 she was only waking 3 times too, a massive improvement on the usual 10!!!
By day 3 I decided I would give day time naps a go properly.. well, she now naps 1.5 hours in the middle, 2 hours in the afternoon and a 30min nap late afternoon, all in her cot. I put her down completely awake, sometimes she will grizzle, but I've learnt that that noise is her winding down to sleep sound, so I stand back and a couple mins later she is asleep. I have done a full week of total daytime naps now without any fuss at all. At night I put her down between 6.30-7.00pm, completely awake, and I dont hear from her til 2am, where she will have a bottle then back down awake again, and will sleep til 7am most mornings.

I never imagined having such progress with this. Any improvement I would have settled with, but my daughters sleep has dramatically changed and for the better. She is SO happy, she has never once been distressed during CC. The couple times I sensed she wasnt quite happy, I went in and usually it was a little wind, then she settled. All on her own.

I want to thank everyone on this thread who gave me the courage to go through with it.. It wasnt easy to begin with but it got better very quickly, and I saw results within days. I Completely would recommend it after 6 months if like me you are in a very dark place, I feel like my life has been transformed, honestly.. have never been so happy.

Ill keep checking back here if anyone has any questions, good luck xx

Nice to see you popping in Mari. I'm so sorry to hear your DD was so poorly but glad she is better now. That must have been so stressful for you.

I'm very glad for you that cc has had a beneficial effect and you feel much happier. I know first hand how hard sleep deprivation can be and I only have one DC!

Zombie I'm so glad to hear you are feeling a bit more positive today and that naps have been better. I really hope you get your appointment soon.

How is it going Sycamore?

I sense we may have a slightly more unsettled night as DD has suddenly 'got' rolling onto her front and must seemingly practice this at ALL times including when I was putting her down for her last nap. She did settle eventually after a 5 minute session of rolling but I imagine there could be more of this to come at bedtime. She doesn't actually like being on her tummy so gets stuck in a cycle of flipping from back to front and back again

Hi ladies ,
Sorry for the delay in checking in, my days get so hectic . I start typing and have to stop to do something and then my phone will lose the bloody post !
Anyway ....
Penguin , I am so pleased you bad a good night , that is good news . I really hope you are turning the corner !
Zombie , so sorry to hear about your dd , you have been through so much , I can't begin to imagine how tough today was for you . I really hope you are ok. Sending you a big
Mariloulou , so pleased the sleep training is going well. I did cc with my son as I was absolutely desperate. He was six months and I was on the verge of depression . I never persevered with naps though which i regret . I remember feeling like I new women after a decent night sleep and ds was a much happier baby . Well done you :-) I know how hard if is , the anxiety of hearing your baby cry is awful.
So last night went surprisingly well . Dd settled well at 7ish and I couldn't believe it as I didn't hear from her until 2 ish , fed her and she settled again until 430ish ish and went down after a feed until 6am. So much better than the one million wake ups the night before . I am
Not fooled my this though as I had a good night before , which turned out to be a one off ! She is teething quite badly today ( again) so it's not looking good for tonight!

Marilyn that's great news about the progress you have been making!!

Penguin let's hope it wears her out ds actually had a couple of good nights just after he got rolling, think it was as he wore himself out

Sycamore hope your dds teeth don't play her up too much and she has a good night!

Ds went to bed at 8.30, he did go down twice earlier but woke up as I put him down just smiling and putting his arms out to me. I know it's
The completely wrong thing to do but I just wanted to cuddle him I'll bloody regret it tonight!

Marilou*