4 month sleep regression- oh.my.god.

[hazel88]

So my DD has just hit the 4 month sleep regression hard. It sucks. It really sucks. for a short while she had been doing 6 hour chunks for the first part of the night followed by 1 or 2 wakings after. On the rare occasion she would just wake up once for a feed then that was it. BLISS. She's now waking up more times than I can count and I'm wondering if she'll ever sleep better again. I know about the 4 month sleep regression inside-out but would really appreciate experiences from others who have either gone through it or are going through it. I need some sanity restored...please?!

Ugh Zombie for you. It's the worst when they tease you by starting off the night well.

Ugh inconsiderate neighbours are so annoying Mariloulou and Zombie especially when you pretty much have to have the windows open in this hot weather!

Zombie I understand your fears about mentioning your anxiety to any health care professionals but they would have no reason to think you can't care for DS and should be able to offer you support.

Ended up getting up loads and he wasn't right next to me so I just had to run further.

Zombie is there a reason that you need to move DS into his own room now or is it just that you feel like you should? If it's the latter then there is no harm in waiting until you feel really ready IMHO.

Sorry to hear DS woke alot of times zombie. Its a completely new surrounding to him so may take a while to settle in, however I am moving DD into her bedroom tonight for the first time in the hope that there are less disturbances there. I feel like every time we move in bed we may wake her and god forbid we sneeze!!! This has consequently meant that even if DD is asleep chances are im not, as im too conscious about waking her!!
do you feed DS to sleep each waking zombie? Sorry I can't remember how old your DS is, but DD has recently dropped her 2nd feed so I always try to stick to giving her just the one bottle now, any other waking is usually just needing comfort.
last night was ok, slept 7.40-11pm. Then woke but popped dummy back in. Then woke again at 1.30am, fed her... woke a couple times after that, settled herself sometimes, other times used the dummy. However im ditching the dummy today and so nervous! She has just gone down for her first nap without dummy but I did rock her in the pushchair. I don't know how to get her to sleep in the cot during the day. She doesn't like me rocking her during the day and with no dummy it will be impossible!
Sycamore, I know how you feel. You become so wired up and on edge constantly that relaxing is so difficult. Always anticipating that next wake up. Ive been abit worried lately as the whole thing is starting to make me feel abit ill! Its now the start of the summer holidays for us and im absolutely dreading it. Poor DD1 asks me every morning what are we doing today and all im thinking about is cracking this sleeping problem before my return to work. Ive got like... 6-7 weeks... I may have to send DD1 to her grandparents bless her,I just dont have it in me to entertain
her right now. Feel so bloody guilty!

Mariloulou that sounds like a great night! I am in awe of you managing to only give 1 feed a night. We had just 3 feeds last night down from 4 so a teeny tiny amount of progress although we did wake up at 6.30 so slightly cheating in counting that as first feed of the day instead of a wakeup! I think tonight I need to attempt to comfort instead of feeding at first wakeup. Eek. This does not usually go well. And by 'not well' I mean escalating screaming ending with both of us in tears and me feeding anyway. Good times!

You have made an absolutely cracking start managing to get DD down for a nap without her dummy. That is a far, far, faaaaaaar off goal for us! Would you normally rock in the pushchair? If so it makes sense that you would continue that while you are getting rid of the dummy and then tackle that after I think. As far as cot napping, the most useful nap advice I have had is to do a mini version of the bedtime routine you have. I sit with DD in our glider chair and read the same short book then zip her into her sleeping bag and it does seem to help her know it's time to sleep (disclaimer we had not one but TWO screaming fits at nap times yesterday so I am very far from a nap expert! )

That's good you managed to settle with no dummy marilou! Ds is just over 7 months now.

I moved him because I thought maybe it was us disturbing him in the night. Apparently now

I absolutely dread nap times and bed times he's so tired now. I managed to hold him to sleep and move him to his cot, he slept for 15 mins ten woke up screaming cus he realised he was in his cot, I went and sat with him but there was no sign of him settling so I took him down stairs and put him down to play. Then he started screaming as he was so tired. So I tried to hold him to sleep again, no luck. I've just tried putting him in his cot, he's acting wide awake and just kicking the bars and making an absolute racket.

No chance of him sleeping now as we have to go to the drs in half an hour

*not

I feel like I'm not enjoying him like I should be and that makes me feel absolutely awful. I'm spending the whole time either trying to get him to sleep or worrying about his next nap

You can tell DD is napping when I cluster post instead of doing one of the 90 billion other things I should be doing. Forgot to say I know it's hard but please don't feel guilty about not being able to spend as much time entertaining DD1 as you'd like. She'll probably love spending time with the GPs and it's such a tiny proportion of her life in the long run. Lastly, as I should have remembered during my meltdown yesterday my DM says none of us is a perfect parent but love covers a multitude of sins.

Oh Zombie that sounds so hard. I have had those days and they are awful. I'm losing track now, will DS sleep in his pram? I have sometimes found it a saviour on days DD refuses to nap at home but I have somewhere to be to walk/bus/train it there and get her to nap in the pram on the way. Go easy on yourself today. You are doing a great job of prioritising his needs.

And good luck with the doc!

Well there was a bit of drama at the drs. I was in the waiting room with ds, then an old couple came in, then this fat man came in and sat down. Ds let out a little sigh. The fat guy threw his hands over his ears and went 'oh my god, how irritating, I can't sit here listening to that I'm going to have to wait outside in the rain', the old couple then started telling him off saying 'he's a baby he made a little noise' then any time he made a noise he was covering his ears and tutting and sighing. When they called ds I got up and he went loudly 'thank god for that!' I then gave a piece of my mind ds wasn't crying and wasn't being noisy he just made a few little noises

Anyway, the dr has given me some baby gaviscon to try out. She said to try for 5 days and if no different to leave it. She said she couldn't see anything at all physically wrong with him but his gums looked a bit bumpy and red. The only other thing she could suggest is cc she recons it's the best method for when they're his age and like that.

On the way out I gave the fat man the most evil look in the world and he just stared at the floor

On the way back ds fell asleep in his car seat and I managed to get him out and into his cot without waking him up, but we shall see how long that lasts.

Does everyone else's dc sleep in their cot during the day?

Oh zombie , what an annoying man ! You should have said that you are guessing he didn't make any noise as a baby !
Sadly no, I cannot get dd in her cot to nap ! So tired and fed up today . And just to top it off dd has her 4 month jabs today .
Do you think you will do cc ?

Afternoon ladies,

Lots to catch up on I see! Sorry to hear about the many wakings for most of you

And I'm sorry to see you're feeling low Zombie. You're a great Mum and we all feel that way at times. I hope you can get some sleep soon as I'm sure that alone would make you feel a bit better.

Mariloulou I really hope you have some luck tonight - keep us posted!

So, for all of those considering sleep training you might find my night last night gives you some hope. So 6:30 DD had her bath followed by 10oz of milk at 6.45. I picked her up and burped her and thought we she drowsy so I put her down in her cot where she was actually awake. After a little chat with herself and with me sitting out of site and shushing she put herself to sleep which she's never done, and then she stayed asleep for 4 hours which hasn't happened in nearly 7 weeks. She then woke another 3 times so 4 in total which again is the best it's been in about 7 weeks. When she woke at 4.15 having a chat I left her until she cried then PU PD for 20 mins which didn't work as she was still wide awake and cried when I put her down so for the first time I left her to cry for 10 mins as the PUPDCD method suggests. It wasn't that bad actually and she stopped crying every couple of mins then started again. I envisaged her being hysterical and choking while she cried but it wasn't that bad at all. I went in to the kitchen while she cried to get myself away then went back in and shushed and patted her bum for a couple of mins. She was still awake but I got in to bed and again she put herself to sleep and woke at 7 which she's never done I don't think! She's always up at 5. I can see how cc has such good success. We're going to London Friday so her sleep will go tits up but next week if no fewer wakings then we're going to give cc a go. Wendy Dean says it's ok from 4 months and DD is obviously capable of self settling. I'm not stressed about it and feel quite confident about it after last night. I'm trying to follow the example routines from the book and today it's worked well so far. DD had a 1.5 hour nap in the car this morning and has just finished her 2nd nap which was 30 mins. She usually has 5x 30 min naps but today will have 3 naps. For her 2nd nap she also self settled after PUPD and me sat out of site shushing. I really can't believe it.

I know it's not for everyone but I would highly recommend sleep training if you haven't already tried it. My LO has done so well with it and seems happier already. Although my sleep was very bitty and broken, I still got a little more than usual and after this positive change in DD's sleep I feel SO much better emotionally.

Someone asked earlier about where DCs nap? Mine always has hers in the cot or in the car seat if we're out.

I really had lost my faith that her sleep would ever improve and I know some of you have too. But I hope this gives you some hope that things can get better!!

And zombie you deserve a medal for not assaulting that man!!

Wow Hazel I think you might be about to become the poster girl for this thread! Amazing progress and absolutely fantastic that you feel more positive. That is what I am really desperate for. A crumb of positive movement to give me hope. Remind me please did your DD used to have a dummy before you started this? Am wondering if PUPD would work for us as DD settles with minimal input for naps and bedtime but it's not truly self-settling as she has a dummy. I veer between 'yep, definitely got to give up the dummy' and 'nope not yet, it's a great sleep tool'

Zombie I am at the rudeness of that man! No need and totally unreasonably to expect a baby to be completely mute! I'm glad the couple who were there stuck up for you. Sorry the doc couldn't offer any magic solutions but hopefully the gaviscon will make a positive impact.

Sorry you're feeling fed up Sycamore any chance DD will be one of those who miraculously sleeps loads after the jabs?! Hope she isn't too upset by them anyway.

Penguin I've just looked it up in the book and she suggests the quickest and least stressful way to stop the dummy is to get rid completely. A while ago DD had the dummy at night and during the day but her sleep went rubbish then too and the HV said get rid asap so we went cold turkey. Luckily she wasn't too bothered and only ever really needed the dummy when she was tiny. If you really want to get rid of it and you feel like you have enough energy and patience, I'd get rid of it and ride it out for the moment. I know that's way easier said than done. We find its actually woken DD when we've tried to give it to her recently. Sorry if that isn't much help.

That's great, Hazel. So pleased things are going well for you . It def pays off to be consistent with sleepy training. Dd is teething like crazy so I am not planning to try just yet , it's just about survival at the moment !

Penguin - no she doesn't normally sleep after her jabs , just gets irritable ! She is teething too so not a good day for us :-( her naps are rubbish today , even co sleeping !

Your poor DD it's horrible when even Cosleeping won't work

Wow Hazel that is absolutely bloody amazing!!!!!! I bet you never thought DD could be so capable of falling asleep alone! I guess this proves that they really do need the chance to do it for themselves.

DD always has napped in her pram, shes probably only napped in the cot 2-3 times. It all started when she just wouldnt nap, so in pure desperation from both of us I had to get her to sleep some how!! The rocking made it easy, completed with a dummy and she will sleep sometimes 30 mins sometimes 1 hr 30mins. I really do hate it though, its so impracticable, so im hoping good naps will follow good nights from sleep training.

You have definately given me hope Hazel thank you.. I get what you mean about the crying not seeming so bad afterall, the anticipation of it all is probably worse! Still unsure about the dummy, this morning she fell asleep with out it, the next 2 naps she wouldnt. I dont know how to play it tonight tbh, still quite unsure, but feeling up for it so will atleast give it a shot. I know DD can self settle, so heres hoping its not going to be to rough. I have wine chilling ready :)

Ill update once the CC begins ( hides)

Sycamore I really don't want to do cc, I went to the book shop today (I know, should of gone on amazon instead!) and the only book they had on sleeping was 'no cry sleep solution' or something like that. I will give it a read while I'm waiting for ds to settle tonight.

Great news it's working hazel! I asked about the cot as I have been trying to get ds to nap in his cot but he just won't, meaning he's only napped for a few mins today I gave in and let him nap in his bean bag just so he got some sleep.

Sycamore your poor dd... And you! Hope it gets better for bed time!

Marilou my gp said in her opinion cc works very well when done right. And that was the technique she was advising me to do.

I keep hearing about the importance of using the right technique with cc. But I've read so many different techniques!! Whats right and wrong? I was going to start at crying 2 mins, then 4, then 6 then 10 and leave for 10mins subsequently until she drops off. Unless she is absolutely distressed then of course ill go to her sooner. When I go into her I won't pick up, or talk, just a tuck back into blanket, (dummy if I decide to use it) maybe a pat and shush, I read you should stay for at least 2 mins then leave. Does this sound ok?

Sounds right to me marilou but I don't know much about it. She didn't go through it with me.

Ds missed most his naps today so he's exhausted now. Fingers crossed his gaviscon helps him

Zombie if you are looking for gentle ways to guide your little one to sleep better then have a read of 'The gentle sleep book' by Sarah Ockwell-Smith. It is 3.99 on Amazon at the message moment and rated five out of five stars after 70 reviews.... Speaks for itself! It is a gentle/attachment parenting style of book so no good if you are looking for a quick fix through a regimented sleep training plan.

Zombie sorry to hear about the shitty naps today! If the bean bag works maybe just go with it for now?

books.google.co.uk/books?id=wRpElyYAei4C&printsec=frontcover&dq=wendy+dean+controlled+crying&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CBwQ6AEwAGoVChMIs5j5nNPYxgIVhxbbCh0lpQHi#v=snippet&q=controlled%20crying&f=false
Mariloulou I don't know if this link will work but if you type in to Google wendy dean controlled crying, then go on to books to search then in the box to the left where it says 'search in this book' (or something to that effect) type controlled crying and click on page 55. I think the main thing is to persevere persevere persevere!!! Hope all goes well