4 month sleep regression- oh.my.god.

[hazel88]

So my DD has just hit the 4 month sleep regression hard. It sucks. It really sucks. for a short while she had been doing 6 hour chunks for the first part of the night followed by 1 or 2 wakings after. On the rare occasion she would just wake up once for a feed then that was it. BLISS. She's now waking up more times than I can count and I'm wondering if she'll ever sleep better again. I know about the 4 month sleep regression inside-out but would really appreciate experiences from others who have either gone through it or are going through it. I need some sanity restored...please?!

Ah that's crap hazel hope your dh is feeling better soon.

Just put ds in his cot in his room. He's so tired as he only slept about 10 mins this afternoon but now he's acting wide awake I'm so worried about him being in here too!

Thanks ladies.

Zombie is your DS now overtired?! It's so friggin hard not to get them under or over tired when they don't bloody nap!!! Hopefully he'll be wiped out soon and have a restful night.

Sycamore your poor DD hope she's feeling better soon. Those little teeth cause so much aggro! I don't think I do cope with tiredness really, I end up eating alot of bad food as I'm tired and need comfort. I know it's the exact opposite of what my body needs right now but I want convenience and something quick and yummy!

So...(excuse the language) but a fucking miracle has just happened! Bathed and fed DD (she took 10oz!) then gently rocked her briefly to ensure she was drowsy. I thought she was so down she went in to the cot but she was awake and I could see she was trying to get herself off to sleep. Every now and then she would wriggle and wake up and look around. I was shushing with my hand on her back but she kept turning over to watch me so I lay on the bed out of sight and kept shushing. Did this maybe for 3 minutes and saw her waving her arms around and was chatting away then, after looking on my phone, I looked up to see her still. I veeeeery carefully peeped over the cot to find her asleep! The clever sausage had gone down wide awake and put herself to sleep!! I crept out of the room SO carefully petrified I'd wake her haha. So pleased

Apologies in advance for a me - centric post. Feeling pretty despondent after failing to settle DD without her dummy tonight. It's normal to fantasise about getting hit by a car so you can escape the relentless shit show that is baby - related sleep deprivation right? I feel so angry that I scare myself. Having tried to remove dummy 30 times or so and DD crying each and every sodding time I ended up leaving it in. Then I came down in the kitchen and bashed some pots together in frustration which miraculously didn't wake DD and walked out of the house. I feel like the shittest parent ever and it just feels like she will never ever improve (after all we've had 4 months of this and it's only got worse so far, yay!) I feel sorry for DD ending up with such a dud for a mum.

Sorry cross post Hazel. Yay for you. Your hard work isobo

Argh phone went mental. Obviously paying off.

Penguin , sorry to hear you are feeling like this . Honestly , why not keep the dummy for a bit longer ? Dummy is driving me crazy too but she settles so much better with it . I know it's a pain in the arse but my dd wakes frequently whether she has the dummy or not . I am planning to get rid of it when I sleep train at six months. It does feel so relentless at times doesn't it ? My ds also wouldn't go to bed tonight so I feel a bit broken ! Hope you are ok

Penguin I'm sorry you're feeling so shit. I've felt the exact same, how you feel is totally normal and understandable. You did the right thing by walking away for a few minutes. How much support do you have around you? Would it be feasible for you to have a night away from home and someone stay with your LO? Now and then I feel like I'm right at the end of my tether and like my DD wouldn't notice if I wasn't around anymore because it feels like she's always crying anyway. I often feel like I'm incapable of making things better or making DD happy.

It sounds as though you really need a day and night away from home. Even if you could stay with a friend and have a chat and a bottle of wine?

And I agree with sycamore- as annoying as it is...keep the dummy at the mo! If she's struggling to settle why ditch it?! Go with whatever works right now to make it a little easier for you all and get rid of the dummy a bit later on when it's a bit easier.

Hazel that's ace!!!! What bottles are you using? I can only ever find 9oz ones but ds is sometimes having 9oz now.

Penguin. You are most definitely 100% not a bad mom at all. Parenting is one of the most difficult things you can do, but doing it when you have not had a full nights sleep in forever is even harder. You are doing a great job. ()

Well ds took around an hour to settle down and go to sleep. While I was trying to get him to sleep the people who live behind (ds bedroom is at the back) decided to put loud dance music on and have a VERY loud conversation in the background. Eventually they shut up and he fell asleep. The windows are all open upstairs as it's very stuffy. I was just sat in the lounge and I could smell something burning, I went in the back garden and they are burning what smells like plastic and there's smoke everywhere. I have had to close all the windows now I'm more worried about ds

We use dr browns bottles as DD had nightmare colic. But they too only hold 9oz so we put 6oz in each and quickly switch while she's in the middle of a feed!

Are you able to turn your garden Hose on and piss on their parade?! Bloody neighbours!!

Penguin I second that you are absolutely NOT a bad Mum, you are a NORMAL Mum who feels how anyone would with severe sleep deprivation!

Thanks Sycamore. Have calmed down a bit after a walk and fresh air. I know it is ridiculous to overreact to such a small thing, I think it's just the first time in months I had felt like there might be a tiny chink of light. It probably doesn't help that DD is 7 months today so I should have got rid of the dummy months ago. She does settle loads better with it but the dummy runs are just piling on the misery alongside the 'real wakes'.

Zombie - how annoying for you ! I remember at my old flat when ds was a baby the guy upstairs had a huge party with people coming and going all night long. My ds kept waking up , I have never felt so angry in my life ! we couldn't go on living below such an inconsiderate moron anymore ( this wasn't the only incident ) so we decided to move out .

I agree , parenting is the hardest job in the world but it is the most rewarding . I didn't know what had hit me when my ds arrived , I feel guilty for saying it but I craved my old life. I wouldn't want it back as I couldn't live without my children but I think it's normal to have such feelings. Especially when suffering sleep deprivation !

Ok major cross-posting. Thank you everyone for your support. Really needed it tonight. Deep breaths and tomorrow is another day. Can't have a night away but can have a and a big cuddle from DH.

Perhaps I need to work on my reaction to sleep difficulties since railing against it is not really working. I have been doing a CBT course online to help with my anxiety so think I need to get back to it. The tiredness for me is not nearly as bad as my feelings about not being able to help DD sleep better.

Penguin , it's not a small thing , your hopes had been lifted so it's perfectly normal you would feel disappointed . Things will get better

Penguin, I felt the same as you with ds and that's why I had to do cc . After failing with pupd I was getting so depressed and I kept thinking he wouldn't thrive as he barely slept and the grumpiness got worse , I just wanted a contented baby which cc helped with

They will get better penguin. Enjoy your cuddles You may have already said but have you tried or are you willing to consider any form of sleep training? I feel for DD it's the only way to try and straighten things out a little!

And I'd like to share with you all, after our conversation about 'oh your baby still doesn't sleep through the night?' and such comments...we were in Tesco today and the man behind the till was talking babies and how wonderful they are and I stupidly made a comment about the way Dd repels sleep and how often she wakes, to which he replied 'oh so she isn't sleeping through the night then?' cue punch in face

Ha hazel that's a great idea!

Penguin, glad you are feeling better after some fresh air. We will all get through this ds is just over 7 months now and still has his dummy, I think it would be an absolute nightmare to get rid of it, but he is almost able to put it back himself, at the moment he gets close then gets frustrated. Once he can do it things should hopefully get better. Hopefully he will master it soon. What cbt course are you doing? I would quite like to try one to see if it would help with my anxiety. I hate being so bloody anxious!

Sycamore, people can be so inconsiderate . They didn't tell any neighbours about it and a few people had washing out.

For anyone who is on Facebook and needs a laugh, follow The Unmumsy Mum, it does make you laugh and realise how normal your feelings are sometimes, or that you're not the only one eating biscuits for breakfast

Zombie I'm not sure of the name of the course but I was referred by my health visitor through an NHS organisation called Healthy Minds. If you are feeling anxious I would really recommend talking to your HV if you feel able to talk to them about it. You could probably be referred through your GP as well. Actually I had a look at their website and it seems like you might be able to self-refer but I'm not sure how the process works www.healthymindsbucks.nhs.uk/contact-us/self-refer/

Thanks penguin. I've always been a bit worried about talking to hv/gp incase they think I can't look after ds but I have quite bad anxiety and slight OCD. Which doesn't bloody help when your sleep deprived and have a messy dh!!!

Sounds like everyone is having a bit of a hard time atm (hugs)
Penguin, I know its easier said then done, but dont be so hard on yourself.You are NOT a failure. As said, parenthood is the hardest job you will ever have. We all have those days where we just want to give up and each day always brings something new, sometimes its tough, but sometimes that heartwarming smile, that embraced cuddle or that loving look you get from your baby makes everything seem more bearable. No one is perfect, I am far from a perfect mother, but I love my children and for me, that is enough. You are doing great

Hazel, what a shitty day for you too. My biggest pet peeve is people cancelling plans last minute. Its so inconsiderate! and in your case, especially so seeing as you kept BIL updated! Your poor DP too, hope he feels better soon. It really sounds like PUPDCD is working for you too. Does it seem like the persistence is effective? Be it a slower process then probably CC, but its gentle and if your DD is taking to it thats fantastic news, I'm so pleased for you.

Zombie, I have a really annoying family across the street from me, we will in a close, so its fairly quiet, but they have this dog who barks, I kid you not, all fecking day. I hear it at 6am, and at 10-11pm. It barks and barks and doesnt bloody shut up. Then when the women finally decides to telling her yappy dog off, she makes sure she lets the whole close know about it! And just lately, a new ice cream van has been screaming out its creepy tune at 7.45pm each night right outside my house. We are in the front bedtime and have had the windows open because its so hot, and it is SO LOUD!! Woken DD a few times, but miraculously she sleeps through it. SO I completely sympathise with you on this!

Sycamore, hope your ok after your DS had some trouble going to bed, is he settled now? DD also took some doing getting to sleep. Maybe she sense the upcoming CC storm!!

I am completely shocked. Since ds has gone to bed around 7.30, we have not had a single wake up two times he let out one cry and by the time I got upstairs he was asleep again! Not even a single dummy run I don't remember the last time he was like this!

I'm scared incase it gets bad at night, or were having a good night and it will go back to normal tomorrow.

Hope everyone has a good night

Spoke to soon! Dummy runs a plenty tonight!

Sorry to hear that zombie . Dd woke up twice for dummy and twice for a feed so a better night really . For some reason I couldn't sleep a all though . Think all this is starting to get to me . So exhausted x