Baby doesn't settle after 3am feed, exhausted. Please help???

[hanban89]

I think I've got a pretty good evening routine down for my 16 week old. Bath at 7pm then into our bedroom, baby massage, dressed, bottle. I try putting her down while she's drowsy but she always cries, so I pick her up and repeat. Usually ends with her eventually falling asleep on me after I pick her up. Generally asleep between 8-8.30. She makes it through til roughly 3am where she wakes and I change her and give her a bottle. She sometimes won't settle down for an hour or so and is usually up every hour until roughly 6.30 when she is proper awake. So I'm not getting any real sleep after 3am. Any suggestions? Should I try putting her down later in the hope she sleeps later? She's been sleeping the first 7 hours for a while now . Before that it was awake after 5 hours. Please please please help. Can't rest during day as have 3 year old.

Seven hours is pretty impressive! Wondering if you really need to change her when she wakes and if she'd settle sooner with just a feed?

Sounds pretty good to me! Both mine went through a stage of being awake for a few hours at silly o'clock - but they had also been waking every 2 hours to feed prior to that!
Personally I just go downstairs and watch tv for a bit. Fighting it will just get you stressed and it's a phase and will pass

Dream feed at 11pm got DS through until 6am at that age. Could try that, but all babies are different.

You could try a dream feed around 11 - 11.30? Lift her out of her cot, change her nappy in dim light so she is alertish and then feed her. If you can get her through to 6am ish you will feel considerably better

Tonight I'll try just a quick feed rather than a change and see what happens. If that doesn't work I'll try a dream feed. Always been a bit worried about doing that in case I wake her and all he'll breaks loose hehe.
Do you think letting her just have a nap about 7ish and letting her go down between 9-10 would be any good?

Nope - stick with the 7ish bedtime if that's working for you. I reckon if you start delaying bedtimes until later, you will a) never get any time to relax with your partner and b) might have a lot of trouble bringing it forward later.

At 16 weeks I wouldn't bother changing the nappy unless it is fully loaded and then I would change before the feed so you've got some chance at getting her off again. If it leaks, use a larger size overnight or put one on top of the other.

I'd start with that and see how it goes for a week or two before trying a dream feed. She's still quite little but it's a v good sign if shes going from 7-3 at the moment imo. It's more a case of you getting to bed by 8.30 really so you are less shattered if she is wakeful from 3 onwards

Is there a spare room that you and DD could move into for a bit? My first DD was a stubborn 3/4am feeder [never could get her settled before 9ish so I was damned if I was waking her again at 11] and so we moved her into the spare room next door around 12 weeks and I co-slept after the 3/4am feed if she wouldn't go back in her cot. We had a sofa bed "beddinge" I think, from Ikea which was very firm so I could put her beside me in her gro bag if I wore enough clothing to only have the duvet up to my waist.

If you are bottle feeding, then your partner might have more luck settling her in the wee hours, she just needs to learn to self settle but you need to learn it too I only learned with the second child.

Ok so didn't change her nappy last night and she woke at 2am and cried for an hour and didn't want a bottle. Maybe she's getting a bug? Then she went back down til 5 and that was her up. But I went to bed at 9 so felt better when she woke. Fingers crossed for a better night tonight.

If she's wide awake and screaming you may as well change her if she's wet but if she wakes up with a bit of a whinge and is sleepily taking a bottle I wouldn't risk waking her further by changing her unless its needed.

And even then I'd just be whipping off the wet one and getting a dry one on asap by the light of the baby monitor.