Evening sleep cycle hell!

[NeverHadHaveHas]

If anyone has any nuggets of wisdom I would be forever grateful.
DC is generally an angel, never cries during the day and is a good napper.

However, we just can't crack bedtimes. She goes down at 7.30ish after a bf and nods off in her cot but every single night she wakes after 30/45 mins and needs resettling, which sometimes is just a cuddle but can be another bf. This goes on every 30 mins until about 10pm when she seems to settle and sleep until about 3/4 when she has another feed and goes back down.

The night feed doesn't bother me at all as it's quick and I go straight back to sleep but this trudging up the stairs all evening is becoming wearing. It means I can't go out in the evening at all, as even though she will take a bottle she gets in a rage if DH tries to resettle her.

She naps well in the day, twice a day for up to two hours, and she doesn't stir.

Am I doing something obviously wrong here, or is it a case of 'this too shall pass'? It has been going in for 3 months now, I wish it would pass quicker

You don't mention how old she is?

Oops 8 months

It's not usual that my DD (also around 8 months) sometimes briefly wakes in the early evening and she either shuffles and goes back to sleep herself or if not we go up to her, but putting her dummy back in is all that's needed, so takes about 10 seconds.

Could you try to encourage any independent settling at these wake ups? I am thinking to not feed her, not pick her up, see if you can just reassure her back to sleep.

8 months is quite old to be able to establish new routines since whatever baby is used to will be established by now. So the problem may be that baby is used to and needs to be breastfed and cuddled to sleep (by you specifically it would seem). So changing this affects more than just these evening wake ups, it will also mean changing things at bedtime and naptime.

You don't have to change anything unless you want to, it is not that you are doing anything "wrong". Lots of people like and cherish the fact that they are their childs source of comfort and so are happy to continue until the child is ready to not need them to go to sleep. But equally it is fine and nothing to feel guilty about if you need your child to learn to sleep independently - but this is likely to cause some upset and distress at this stage (unless you are willing to take things very, very slowly).

We went through the same thing recently (DS now 9 months) and we have solved it to a certain extent with music! Some mozart in his bedroom playing on low .. started whilst finishing bedtime routine. I think it has meant that when he wakes up and I am no longer there he hears the music which was something that was there when he fell asleep and that reassures him that he is in the same place and all is ok. He then settles himself. I wont lie .. there are still the odd wake ups where he won't settle himself and I have to go up but not every sleep cycle anymore and usually only if he is hungry after not taking in enough milk at bedtime.

Worth a try?

Is she hungry and cluster feeding? How is her solid food intake at dinner time?

Thanks for all suggestions, will definitely try the Mozart.

We are doing BLW so her supper intake is fairly hit and miss. She can eat an enormous helping of pasta, or can just throw stuff around, but it doesn't seem to correspond to the frequency of the wake ups.

When I pick her up on the wake ups she does sometimes do a big burp so I was wondering whether it could be wind but is she getting too old for wind related issues? She did have reflux as a small baby, but I don't know why she would only get wind in the evening as she sleeps fine in the night and during naps.