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Sleep

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Original poster

Would you hire a Night Nanny?

54 replies

Pinkandwhite · 17/05/2015 21:39

If money wasn't an issue, would you hire someone to care for your baby every night for the first six months? A friend of mine is doing this and I can't decide whether it is something I would do if I could afford it. I'm interested to know what others think.

OP posts:

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PerspicaciaTick · 17/05/2015 21:41

No. Because the stress of having someone in my house for 6months would far, far outweigh any benefits

PannaDoll · 17/05/2015 21:41

Not a chance. I enjoyed cosleeping and breastfeeding and also enjoy my personal space. A strange wouldn't be welcome in it.

PannaDoll · 17/05/2015 21:42

Maybe if I was having triplets or something. Maybe.

nottheOP · 17/05/2015 21:42

Yes. Parenting a newborn would be so much better if the nanny did the night shifts.

If I win the lottery and can afford this I might have another baby.

ThomasinaCoverly · 17/05/2015 21:50

Not for 6 months - and I breastfed so it wouldn't have been much use in the early days anyway. And I would have hated having someone in the house for that long. But we did hire one for a week when DD was 9 months old and I was back at work and so tired I was hallucinating. It was brilliant. I felt human again for the first time since giving birth.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 17/05/2015 21:50

Its not something that appeals to me at all, for a few reasons. Am bf'ING so would need to feed or express overnight to maintain supply. I love the extra cuddles I fit in overnight. Sometimes the days are so busy I like to be up, just the two of us. And also i'm not sure if i'd be comfortable in my house when everyone else is in bed.

slightlyeggstained · 17/05/2015 21:56

No. I'd much rather have someone come in for a few hours in the day so I could nap, or, when baby gets to that early evening waily stage, between 4-7pm.

But this is with the benefit of hindsight - before I might well have gone for the idea (assuming I had the money).

ElphabaTheGreen · 17/05/2015 21:57

Absolutely not. Get a doll if you only want to look after it during the day. It's completely at odds with a baby's biological makeup to be separated from the mother/primary caregiver during the night, breastfeeding or not.

But then I breastfeed and co-sleep so I'm going to hoik judgy pants over this one.

TheNumberfaker · 17/05/2015 22:25

It's the only way I would consider having a third. Not an option as we have nowhere near enough money for it though!

Springtimemama · 17/05/2015 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Orangebutterfly · 17/05/2015 22:33

Hi I had too. My youngest son was born with medical problems and was fed via a tube and slept with an apnoea monitor for the first 6 months of his life. Each feed took 1.5-2hrs! I lived on 2hrs of sleep for 4 months. I never forget that feeling of sleep deprevation. I hired a sleep nanny evenually to help. I did one the 1pm feed, she did the middle feed and my husband did the morning one just before he went to work. So for us she was a life saver.

jubles · 17/05/2015 22:39

No, if I had money I'd rather hire someone to do all the housework and maybe the cooking too, so DH and I could just enjoy spending time with the newborn and other children! Also co-sleep and breastfeed on demand so it wouldn't really work.

Lovelydiscusfish · 17/05/2015 22:40

Sounds awesome, in principle.
As I was breast feeding, it would have meant someone coming in to wake me up and getting me to feed the baby, which might have felt a bit intrusive. Plus, our house is comparatively small, so we'd have been living on top of her, so to speak.
But if I'd had a bigger house, and not been bf, I'd have been all over the idea! Who wouldn't?

nottheOP · 17/05/2015 22:44

To those who think it makes you less of a mother, for those who cope badly with sleep deprivation and can't Co sleep due to anxiety about smothering their baby, being well rested would allow you to enjoy the daytime rather than spend it dreading the night to come.

I blamed ds bad sleeping on my poor parenting skills. I'm certain that I'd have bonded better if I wasn't so sleep deprived and anxious. I'd have been a better mother to my newborn.

Also, are those who have good sleepers, less of a parent? Is there a minimum requirement of sleepless nights?

WaitingForMe · 17/05/2015 22:47

No, I'd have struggled with the lack of privacy. There were times I thought I was losing my mind (I remember DH once insisting I went to bed in the daytime because I was so tired I was slurring) but it was balanced by things like DS grasping around in the dark and me realising he wanted to hold my hand while he fed.

I can't really remember the sleep deprivation any more but I remember the night we held hands for hours.

slightlyeggstained · 17/05/2015 22:48

Well said nottheOP.

Pico2 · 17/05/2015 22:49

My DD is 3.5 months. I don't think she has needed more than 2 feeds in the night and now is down to one (if you count 6am as night). She sleeps 8.30 pm to about 9 am. 6 months of night nanny would definitely be overkill.

EvilSidekick · 17/05/2015 22:50

Yes I would. I have a friend who did as she had twins and following a c-section had limited mobility. Meant she could feed both and night nanny could change them, get them back to sleep, help place both babies on mum as hard to hold two newborns to feed.

Original poster

Pinkandwhite · 17/05/2015 22:53

Good points nottheOP. I agree with you. I have suffered terribly with anxiety since my baby was born almost 9 months ago. My sleep was so bad I would have disturbed my baby if we had co-slept. I wish so much this wasn't the case and I could have co-slept with her. It isn't a solution for everyone sadly.

OP posts:

Cranagh · 17/05/2015 22:54

Yes, I had a night nanny for a few nights after the first couple of weeks and it was bliss to catch up on sleep. Wouldn't have wanted someone for six months but the first six or seven weeks would have been great!

strawberry01 · 17/05/2015 22:55

No I wouldn't (but I have only had 1 baby, had a straightforward birth/healed well and was FF). The nights were hard but definitely not as hard as some of the stories I have read on here.

I would rather have someone during the day to help out with the cooking and cleaning and maybe take the baby for a couple of hours while I napped. Then again not sure I would like my privacy invaded like that by a stranger.

steppemum · 17/05/2015 22:58

mine woke up to feed, in between they slept. As I was bf, it would have taken a massive amount of expressing during the day to make the nights workable.
I like the cuddles, but to be fair, I would have been perfectly happy if dh was doing all that and getting cuddles.

I would much rather spend the money on something else - day time childcare for toddler so i could nap with the baby after lunch, or take the toddler out when I just couldn't get all of us out of the door, or baby needed feeding and it cut across time for toddler to go to playground (and nowhere to sit and feed at playground)
Cleaning
cooking.

In fact a live in cook for 6 months so we just walked into the kitchen for healthy tasty meals for whole family 3 x per day, and didn't have to wash up.
That would be far more worth it to me.

bonzo77 · 17/05/2015 22:59

Not every night and not for 6 months. But maybe 1-2x a week for 3 months (both mine were sleeping 6 hour stretches by then). But I'd have jumped at extra help in the day, cleaning, tidying, laundry and meal preparation. And the odd evening so DH and I could go out. Expecting dc3 and am resigned to it being tough for 3-6 months...

Pico2 · 17/05/2015 23:01

You just can't know in advance. For some babies it would be great and 6 months not enough, and for other it wouldn't be necessary at all.

bonzo77 · 17/05/2015 23:02

See, I genuinely loved those night feeds and cuddles, though they were crippling with DS2 due to not really being able to rest in the day. They were precious 1 to 1 time where ds2 got my undivided attention.

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