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Sleep

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Original poster

Would you hire a Night Nanny?

54 replies

Pinkandwhite · 17/05/2015 21:39

If money wasn't an issue, would you hire someone to care for your baby every night for the first six months? A friend of mine is doing this and I can't decide whether it is something I would do if I could afford it. I'm interested to know what others think.

OP posts:

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munchkinmaster · 17/05/2015 23:03

Right now I would. 8 months in . No more than 3 hours sleep in a row. A whole night seems impossible.

But a night nanny every night for 6 months seems a bit much? Unless medical needs or multiples?

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 17/05/2015 23:04

No as I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing someone was up but then again none of my children were bad sleepers although when DS went through faze of waking up million times of night when reached a toddler I would of gladly hired one I was so bloody tired

ElphabaTheGreen · 18/05/2015 12:57

I am supremely, spectacularly long-term sleep deprived. DS1 didn't sleep in longer stretches than two hours at a time until he was well past a year. He's only just done a whole week where he spent every night uninterrupted in his own bed - he's now almost three. DS2, nine months, is just as bad as he was. I've had thirty minutes of sleep since about 3:30am this morning. I went back to work full-time with both of them when they were eight months old. You might say I 'cope well' with sleep deprivation. I didn't feel that way when I was driving in this morning and sobbing.

BUT.

I would never - not ever - have delegated those first six months of nights to a nanny. I have read a lot about infant sleep - enough to know that a 'poor sleeper' is just the bad luck of the draw. Parenting has nothing to do with it. I've been working with an amazing sleep consultant for three months with DS2, and she agrees that it's entirely a developmental skill that some posess from early on and some do not. Mine do not. But I also know that when they're with me, they feel secure and safe enough to sleep, albeit in short bursts. Why, when they are at their most vulnerable, would I want to hand that over to a stranger? Even 'good' sleepers should sleep in close proximity to their primary caregiver for the first six months of their lives. I think I'd probably sleep less, and suffer more greatly from anxiety, wondering constantly what was going on, with a night nanny than with my non-sleeping babies next to me.

But that is just how I feel about it. If someone feels happy with a night nanny, then that's fine. But it would make me feel sad.

Original poster

Pinkandwhite · 18/05/2015 17:29

I can see where you're coming from elphaba. I totally agree that it is just luck with baby sleep. Some babies are naturally better sleeper than others.

OP posts:

NerrSnerr · 18/05/2015 17:33

Nope, I would hate the intrusion. My baby is now 9 months and even when she's up numerous times I still love going into her and having sleepy cuddles while she breastfeeds. If I had money I'd join a nice gym and use the crèche a few times a week.

DancingDinosaur · 18/05/2015 17:33

Yes I would have done, I did consider it at one point, but just couldn't afford it.

Alanna1 · 18/05/2015 17:35

I've not read the whole thread, but I did hire a night nanny both times for a few weeeks. No regrets! 6 months is a long time though.

PurpleSwift · 18/05/2015 17:35

If I had the space and money, yes! I would still get up in the night until I no longer could. Looking back i remember trying to feed ds1 with a head like a nodding dog trying not to fall asleep, I felt so ill from deprivation.

dailyfix · 18/05/2015 17:38

I did when my DTs were 8 weeks old. She did alternate nights on weekdays only for 4 weeks (would've done longer if money no issue). I was on my knees, DH was working abroad and it gave me my sanity back.
Good luck to your friend, if she can afford it why not?

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 18/05/2015 17:40

If I had the money maybe I would, although a few hours help in the morning and an occasional lie in would probably have been enough for me.
DS was premature and feeding took ages. I had to set an alarm to wake him up every few hours and then try to feed him...fall asleep... tickle feet etc. Then by the time he was fed it was pretty much time to wake him up again. It was shattering. Still I think he needed me and I had so much anxiety at the time I probably would've got up to see if the nanny was ok!

GunShotResidue · 18/05/2015 17:45

The first 6 months- no. DD is now 16 months and night weaned, but still wakes a lot, 10+ times some nights. Nothing, including co sleeping, works. I'd employ one now indefinitely if I could afford it.

Artesia · 18/05/2015 17:48

Was adamant that I wouldn't want one but 3 months in, when DS2 wouldn't settle at night and I was shattered, DH pushed me to get someone in, and I am eternally grateful to him!

She came twice a weeks or a couple of months. I was still bf'eeding, but it meant I literally woke up, fed and handed him back over- no nappy change to do, no settling him again after a feed etc. Also, It got DS into a better pattern. I was so tired I was just feeding him every time he squeaked, whereas she had the patience to see if he would settle without a feed, so he started having one or two proper feeds a night when he needed them, rather than "snacking" all night. He and I were both so much happier.

It also helped that I was less tired during the day so had more energy for DS1. It even meant DH and I managed a couple of nights out while she babysat - just a quick dinner locally, but it was a total godsend as we have no family nearby to give us a break. Felt a real treat to go out, leaving the boys with someone who had got to know them so well and who we totally trusted.

Pippidoeswhatshewants · 18/05/2015 17:48

I would go for baby no. 3 in a flash if somebody did the nights for me.
I was no more than a zombie when my dc were really small, and I hindsight I should not have been driving or be in charge of 2 children

PterodactylTeaParty · 18/05/2015 18:41

No. Wouldn't like someone in my house overnight, bf so wouldn't have stopped me having to wake, and the nights weren't the most exhausting part anyway.

Someone to cook and clean and help out with the evening screaminess, though? In a shot.

Original poster

Pinkandwhite · 18/05/2015 20:56

It sounds like the majority wouldn't do it even if money was no issue but would rather have daytime or evening help. It's interesting. I know I would struggle with having someone in my home like others have said but I wonder whether I would have been a better mum to my baby in the daytime if I had had this kind of help when she was tiny and I was horribly sleep deprived.

OP posts:

hideandseekpig · 18/05/2015 21:00

No I wouldn't have because I enjoyed the night time cuddles and her falling asleep on me I wouldn't have missed that for the world. It was hard work too and very stressful at times but on the whole rewarding.

I would probably have paid for a cleaner to pop by for an hour a day though! Or someone to go and get my food shopping. Or make me cups of tea when dh was out at work after the first few weeks!

AvocadoLime · 18/05/2015 21:03

I would in a shot if I were bottle feeding.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 18/05/2015 21:05

Yes, I would absolutely.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 18/05/2015 21:09

I would if I were breastfeeding too tbh and I know lots of people who have.

PterodactylTeaParty · 18/05/2015 21:10

What really killed me with the sleep deprivation was not being able to nap during the day myself. Baby wouldn't sleep without being held and I was too scared to cosleep. If someone could have come round during the day a bit and looked after her while I napped, that would have been wonderful.

JugglingChaotically · 18/05/2015 21:17

Maternity nurse for 6 weeks.b(some do longer!)
And it doesn't interfere with BF as they do the changing and floor walking and you just wake to feed.
The good ones look after you too. So you can choose where to focus your waking hours - with DC3 my being able to focus on older DCs helped the bonding for them with the baby.

Zzzsnatcher · 18/05/2015 21:21

No way! But I would get one for help during day to work alongside me and let me go for nap

CoodleMoodle · 20/05/2015 06:57

Not during the first six months, no. I could cope with the wakings then as there was a 'point' (milk). Now DD is nearly 15 months and waking every two hours, sometimes more, and I'd love someone to do a few nights for us. Even just one would be a start!

GoodToesBadToes · 27/05/2015 07:34

Yes, I had a night nanny two nights a week for 12 weeks when my DD was born.
It was amazing and I will do it again if/when I have another baby.

quesadillas · 27/05/2015 07:43

Every night, no. Currently expecting twins and plan to hire a p/t night nanny for the month after DH goes back to work. If it was one baby, I wouldn't consider it.

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