3 week old baby will only sleep when held

[Mishee]

I've got into bad habits already! DD has to be held until she sleeps, otherwise I put her down, she grizzles then cries, then screams until I pick her up. In the end I feed her until she falls asleep on the breast, then after about 20 mins I lie her down and she is fine. An additional problem is that I often fall asleep with her and so she is then held for however long it is for me to wake up again! Any solutions please, because I know it will be better if we break this habit sooner rather than later.

Three weeks is tiny!!! I really wouldn't worry about it at this stage - she needs lots of love and reassurance from you... I think falling asleep with a baby on the sofa is dangerous (for obvious reasons), but if you b/f babies, you are fairly safe falling asleep on a bed with them because your outstretched arm will prevent you rolling over on them.

If you really want to get her to sleep by herself, look for controlled comforting on google, but I'd enjoy the cuddles as much as you can. My ds is almost 9mo now and never sits still long enough to cuddle!

3 weeks - god, honestly at 3 weeks jsut let baby sleep when/where she wants to. you can't have bad habits at such a young age.

I thought we had bad ones with the boy sleeping in his bouncer chair but a few days in the cot and it all changed - I only wish now he stillwanted to sleep cuddled to me/would have nice cuddles with me, he wants to be on the floor crawling. all's I can suggest is pour yourself a nice cuppa and sit down with the LO and relax.

falling asleep with her can be risky depending on where/how you fall asleep with her - althou a lot of ladies do choose to co sleep.

i've not really helped I don't think - but your not alone,and there's certainly nothing wrong with it - I only wish i'd listened to more MNetters who told me that 8 months ago! lol.

Two very good points that "The Baby Whisperer" (I think) makes: 1) there is no right or wrong in parenting, just what suits your household; and 2) just because you feed your baby to sleep does not mean you will be feeding your 13-year old to sleep! Do what works for you and don't worry about whether what you're doing is good or bad!

(please don't try controlled crying thou for a long while yet )

Mishee, please don't worry about bad habits yet. At 3 weeks your lo is still getting used to being outside and feels scared when not in contact. It won't last forever, I promise.

Hi Mishee, have 5 week old DD who also neended cuddles and boob before sleep. Her's what we ahve been doing with slow but good results. Follow feed/play/sleep routine after each waking, don't keep bub up for longer than 1.5 hours. Try to separate feed from sleep, hard I know when they fall asleep on boob all the time. Try to wait until she wakes again to begin. Wrap/swaddle and place in cot/basket/bed AWAKE. Wait to see what she does. If she starts to cry, pat her gently, or rub, saying SSSHHH or any settling phrase you want to adopt. Do this for 5 mins, if still crying, pick her up and cuddle.Repeat this until she settles/quietens. Expect the crying to get very loud, it will then peak and reduce. The idea is to settle her to a point where she is awake and quiet so that she learns that whilst she is upset you will be there but she can actually pop herself off to sleep. This is a strategy from a professional child health organisation in Australia (Tweddle child + family health service) It mightn't be your cup of tea, but you could try it and see how you go. Bless and good luck to you all.

At 3 weeks she hasn't got the frontal lobe activity in the brain to have habits.

If you are all getting some sleep then carry on.

I have same prob with DD that is now 6 weeks. Unlike you though I am rarely able to transfer to moses basket once asleep. Am slowly reading through the No cry sleep solution book (see thread titled the same) and will be doing sleep logs soon however they will be all over the place. Im quite happy for her to develope her own routine - not so bothered about that yet. I just need her to be able to go down to sleep on her own then will see about routines and whatever else follows. It is hard though cause u cant ever get anything done and its hard to see a time when things will be better. I have to say though I was always late to bed anyway (midnight usually) so the sleepless and broken nights dont really bother me - i get bits here and there and am pretty used to it.

Anyway better go before i waffle anymore - we have 6 week check at docs now.

Hayles and Stella(6 weeks)

Thanks for all of that advice. I'm not going to worry about it for the time being, although will try to follow MAZinOZ's advice as that is what is recommended in The Baby Whisperer book. I must admit to enjoying DD falling asleep on me though ... (but don't tell the midwife!).