12 month old wakes every hour. I know I won't die but it feels as if I will.

[TychosNose]

Just posting for a whinge really.

Ds has never slept well. Did a 4 hour stretch once or twice as a newborn but 1 or 2 hour stretches have always been the best we've got. Sometimes he won't settle for longer than 15 mins.

He is rarely deeply enough asleep to be transferred to his cot, and even if i manage it, he never sleeps longer that 30 mins in his cot. So we're bed-sharing. Not what I want but I don't have the energy to fight it.

He still bf every time he wakes. Always wakes screaming and gets hysterical if he's not fed. We tried to night wean but after three nights of screaming, I couldn't take it anymore and neither could my four y o dd.

I'm so tired and suffering from severe depression and struggling all the time.

I've just spent half term crying, with the two kids crying most of the time too. It's a living hell.

Anyone else had a baby like this? How did you survive?

Oh god that sounds absolutely dire. You poor thing.
I think you'll have to do hardcore sleep training. You can either research the methods and do it yourself or hire a consultant. But this really cannot go on

Thanks for your reply.
i don't have any energy for sleep training. I just feel defeated.

I know. But it's the only way you will get rest & energy.

are you getting any help for the depression?

I'm on anti depressants and I see a cpn most weeks but neither are helping. i did see a psychiatrist in dec but because I can't get ds out of my bed, I can't take any more meds as it wouldn't be safe.

Do you have a good friend or family member who can take him for a couple nights?

I had to do this for my sister. Nephew literally would not sleep. So I took him, for 24 hours. Cold turkey. No breastfeeding, no mums bed. I sat with him till be fell asleep, slept in the spare bed with him, watched ITNG at 2am on the Ipad with him. He was actually okay, not distressed. Sister got a full night sleep, and it was a turning point. Luckily nephew dropped the breastfeeding really well. But I'd have had him back for another couple nights if needed.

Oh, and I gave a huge bowl of porridge before bed. Full fat milk and added jam. No reason for a 1 year old to be hungry at night

Alternatively give your 4 yr old to a family member while you do sleep training

I had to sleep train with the pickup put down method. Repeating key words like go to sleep / night night / gently laying back down into cot if they get up

ALL sleep consultants say babies this age will cry. Of course they will! But we must teach them to sleep

Walk in freshair each day
Carbs for dinner
Porridge for supper here too!

What's your current routine?

Wow you sound like a great sister. Sadly I don't have anyone who would help like you. Plus I'm sure he'd just scream all night but it wouldn't solve anything.

When we tried to night wean dh looked after him in the night but there was no improvement after three nights and no one got any sleep because our house is so small and ds has a very loud cry!

I do try to fill him up in the day but it doesn't seem to make any difference.

Carbs and chocolate for you too make sure you're keeping yourself nourished during this time you can fix this within a week be strong

Sorry all my posts - I would just give a bottle of formula this week give yourself a break. You've breastfed remarkably well for a very long time. You're exhausted. I don't mean to offend any bf mums but when it gets to this stage where you are their only person who can offer boob comfort then time to go ff - so then DH can feed bottle you can sleep etc

No one that dd could stay with.

Current routine:
Get up at 7
Breakfast of toast or cereal
Nap 9-10
Snack
Lunch at 12
Nap 1-2ish, sometimes only 30 min
Snacks 2 and 3:30
Dinner at 5
Bedtime routine at 6 - quiet time, stories, bath then bf to sleep 6:45-7

I have a friend with very similar issues with her 11month old dd. She eventually had her tested for food allergies- she has three. Since diagnosed and diet changes her sleep is steadily getting better and better.

But ds won't take a bottle. We've tried. Many times. He just screams.

Gosh. How did she test for food allergies?
Could be the case as ds has always had eczema.

Could there be an underlying issue? My son was exactly the same and it turned out he had silent reflux so lying down was painful for him and he'd breastfeed often to soothe himself and stop his throat from hurting.

I'd say he needs a longer lunchtime nap.
If he won't take a bottle then he should get a sippy or doidy cup. At night time only offer water.
You need to take control not him. I know it is really bloody hard. That's why I suggested maybe a sleep consultant

I would do fresh air in morning and or afternoon

She may be dropping the afternoon sleep mine recently did that so it's only a nap of 70 mins now per day but more tired when bedtime comes

Filling him up on porridge, formula etc is not going to make one iota of difference. I know, because you're describing my DS1! I didn't have an older DC, but I was working full time on 6-10 wake-ups a night. I can remember going to work once on 13 wake-ups. I was hallucinating.

Can you go to a hotel with your DD for a few nights while DH co-sleeps with him to night wean? Having you in the house may have made it more difficult for your DS as he knew you were there. I night-weaned hourly-feeding DS1 when he was 14 months. I literally spent three or four nights getting kicked, punched, screamed at and having my hair pulled but we did get there. We remained co-sleeping after that as he refused to sleep in his room. It wasn't until he was 21 months old and we worked with this fucking amazing sleep consultant that I finally got to share a bed with DH again and get the odd uninterrupted night of sleep.

I'm working with her again now with six month old DS2 who is headed exactly the same way. Not doing it again!

I really, really feel for you.

Could you hire a consultant to do the sleep training?

I lasted 7.5 months with hourly or 2-hourly waking DS. Luckily sleep training worked for us.

If you are really here for a moan rather than suggestions, then ignore that and just take [tea] and and and [this will pass].

Ok bottle - do it at a time when he is hungry try with very first feed of the day and hold close in breastfeeding position do you use a dummy, you may need one to wean off boob? Are you happy to wean off boob? Perhaps someone will come along with better advice on how to do this if you are ready

Will he take milk from a cup at bedtime? I would also only give water at night but I never fed DD at night after we stopped her dream feed at 3 months or so. She was bottle fed though so some will say it's different.

I really don't think a one year old needs to be fed at night and cracking that will be key to getting some sleep.

I also had to walk around room slowly holding baby to get bottle feeding going the movement distracted them from what they were yelling about! Then I sat down and cuddled fed with bottle.

I would do controlled crying once you've ruled out silent reflux or anything medical. No-one on here approves of it but by god is it effective!

That is dire and you cannot go on like this. A few nights of cc to sort it is far less damaging than a parent with this level of sleep deprivation and associated mh issues.