12 month old wakes every hour. I know I won't die but it feels as if I will.

[TychosNose]

Just posting for a whinge really.

Ds has never slept well. Did a 4 hour stretch once or twice as a newborn but 1 or 2 hour stretches have always been the best we've got. Sometimes he won't settle for longer than 15 mins.

He is rarely deeply enough asleep to be transferred to his cot, and even if i manage it, he never sleeps longer that 30 mins in his cot. So we're bed-sharing. Not what I want but I don't have the energy to fight it.

He still bf every time he wakes. Always wakes screaming and gets hysterical if he's not fed. We tried to night wean but after three nights of screaming, I couldn't take it anymore and neither could my four y o dd.

I'm so tired and suffering from severe depression and struggling all the time.

I've just spent half term crying, with the two kids crying most of the time too. It's a living hell.

Anyone else had a baby like this? How did you survive?

X-posted with your most recent posts - the usual culprits for allergies are cow's milk protein, soya and egg. You would need to eliminate all three in both yours and your DS's diets for four weeks then reintroduce each one, one at a time. But honestly? You're depressed. You do not need that ballache, and my DS1 didn't have allergies. He was just a terrible sleeper (still not 100% at 2.8yo, but so, so much better).

Join us on the Misery Loves Company thread. We all have DCs that are just like yours

Tychosnose, I have been through this exactly.
DC3, exclusively bf, refused every bottle known to mankind, and believe me, we tried.
Ended up co-sleeping too. He woke every hour, maybe two, the whole night. Every night.
Luckily my other two were a good bit older and in full time school, more independent etc.
I also have a friend that had 4 boys and she went through this with all of them. We both found that at 12/13 months they became 'ready' to leave the boob.
We used a cup like this for juice/full fat milk etc in the day.Ikea.

So, I became able to cut the boob feeds in the day, and gave him the mug with milk, so he wasn't hungry. Then I gave him a cuddle and put him down. He always went down easily for DH, took him a few days to get it from me.
Then we did the same at nights, just offered the mug, and over a few days cut out the feeds for the mug.
As time went on he just stopped waking so much.
He too has eczema, and recently took a big reaction to peanuts, so now all nuts off too.
Personally i could never do any controlled crying or anything.

Effective for some people, Dusty. It made my DS far worse (and yes, I was very, very consistent). I think it's a recipe for disaster with very clingy DCs like the OP's.

Thanks for all the replies.

How do I rule out silent reflux or anything medical dusty ?

I'm interested in the allergies theory.

I'm scared of the misery loves company thread because whenever I come on the sleep board I always end up reading about babies who wake once a night and how terrible it is! I feel very bitter!

When I say he won't take a bottle, I mean at night instead of boob. He will drink formula from a bottle in the day(not very much though).
He's not hungry in the morning because he's been feedling all night! That's when he's least hungry.

I think cc would not work. He never sleeps in the car or buggy. Will just scream if he's tired and we're out and about.

He gets plenty of fresh air too. Walking to school and back twice a day. Walking to toddler groups etc. he's tired out for sure.

OP I'm sorry you're going through this.

Waking up every hour is not normal. He must be exhausted. Have you raised this with your HV or GP? There is something that's causing this and they have to help you find it.

A friend of mine had a baby that woke up hourly, too. Her GP prescribed some tablets that solved the problem (she'd wake up once or sleep through). They weren't sleeping pills but hormones - the kind that tell your body to sleep at night etc. I don't remember the name hopefully some other MNr does!

I hope things improve for you soon

Melatonin.
I would reflux at 12 months old is extremely unlikely.

Will he take a beaker? I had to wean my DD2 off the breast at 9 months for medical reasons and she refused a bottle but little by little took more and more from a beaker. You could start with a small amount of milk in the day and try to gradually increase it. Give it before food so that he is hungry and try to build up the amount he is taking. Then move on to offering it at night?

Can you really give babies melatonin?
I have been to the gp and Hv. Both just say some babies wake up a lot. I did beg for drugs but they told me there wasn't anything.

I get that he needs to be night weaned. I just can't do it. I can't take nights, possibly weeks, of screaming. Dd and dh will be kept awake too.

Walking round with a bottle would be impossible. He's strong and heavy and if he doesn't want to drink from the bottle he can't be forced.

I did. We did cc when dd was just over 12 months because I was on my knees. Luckily there wasn't much crying amd she got the hang of it really quickly so I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would have.
Would you be willing to try that? Or gradual retreat if cc is not for you?

I will keep offering the bottle or sippy cup at night but I feel totally hopeless.

We tried to night wean in the hope of starting gradual retreat, which is what we did with dd. but he was awake more and more and screaming more and more. His spirit is stronger than mine!

I'm not sure I could do controlled crying and I don't believe it would work.

Was your dd really this bad quiet?

Hi OP - my friend was prescribed melatonin for her little girl in the UK, around 3 years ago. The girl was around 12 months, too. She didn't ask for the tablets (didn't know they existed), the GP suggested them when they were discussing the sleep problems. A one-week course broke the pattern of hourly waking. Yes a full night's sleep wasn't guaranteed but waking up only once it twice a night was a massive improvement for thrm

Thanks miss I will ask the gp about melatonin

Been there with dd. eventually I very calmly dtold dh that if he ever woke up and I was gone and dd was still crying then I would be at the bottom of the stairs with a broken neck so he'd need to get up and deal with her.

He then started helping more.

We used to take it in turns to sleep with the baby monitor in a different room. First few nights of "dh's turn" were awful but after a while she still woke every hour but could be comforted back to sleep by either of us. And I got enough sleep to "just" be exhausted and fed up rather than suicidal.

We used a book called something like "no cry baby sleep solution". It's not quick but it is flexible - lots of suggestions and you try the ones that work for you.

Not sure exactly when she started sleeping but by 3 she was a reliable 12-hours-er and now at nearly 5 is very good. We think teething was her problem. For some reason she couldn't cope with the pain.

With ds (21 months) he is technically better - he usually only wakes 1 - 3 times a night. Although his wake-ups last for 2 - 3 hours and he specially likes 1am - 4am as awake times. Had a big freak out about it the other night which did me good I think. it's also easier with a second as I know it is temporary and I will survive it.

Now I just need to work up the energy to find and re-read the book.

Is the consultant an option for you, could anyone club together and pay for a session for you? It sounds so bloody tough dealing with it all yourself.

God if it were me I would put him in a cot and leave him to scream probably makes me a terrible person but I couldn't take being woken every hour every night, I would go insane.

Ok lots of fresh air - tick
Good routine - tick
Plenty of cuddles attention - tick

Get bonjela teething gel apply often
Get calpol - dose often

You are doing a really hard job really well by caring so much - give yourself a chocolate bar and a mug of hot tea and take a break - repeat as necessary until this toddler storm passes

It must be teething that's what my house is currently like - teething baby ruling the roost!

Plus OP look at how many mothers have had babies behave similarly at THIS AGE! Must be teeth. It must be.

Yy to Elizabeth Pantley 'no cry baby sleep solution book' see if u can download it kindle amazon onto iPad or iPhone free kindle app this evening?

What also helped me was to spend time playing with DD during the day in the room in which she slept so she got used more to it's smell etc

've just had another thought. We started ttcing ds when dd was 2 years 4 months.

So it must have been not just bearable but good enough for us to want to do it again (and have the energy for sex!) by then. And it must have been ok for long enough for us to have semi-forgotten how bad it was by then.

When dd was 12 months old I vowed never again!

Nothing further to add just that I absolutekt think that anbesol is amazing for teething. It's liquud lidocaine basically (but totally safe for babies). It's also easier to apply than Bonjela I think. DH is a dentist and brought some home when DS was really struggling with teething. He soaks a cotton wool ball and hold it on DS's teeth. We also find ibuprofen better than calpol for teethi g too as it's anti-inflammatory and when DS was really bad, we give both together (which is safe). I would dose DS up on both before he goes to sleep and use some anbesol. Then at least you know he is notin pain from teething and can rule that out.

My DS2 woke every 50 mins all night as he needed boob to sleep. When he got to a light stage in his sleep cycle he'd realise he wasn't latched on and wake crying until he got boob again. I used Elizabeth Pantley's methods(breaking his latch every time he tried to nod off while 'feeding', then letting him have boob back to soothe him immediately, but just taking it away again after about 20 seconds so he didn't fall asleep with boob in mouth, had to repeat this several times at each waking before he would go to sleep tired, but didn't let him cry much at all as you give the boob back as soon as he cries) and over about a week he stopped waking every 50 mins and only woke once or twice a night.
It's hard and horrible and torturous, sleep deprivation. I hope you can find a solution. Talk to your doctor about it.....

oh, also recommend white noise; download some, it really helps when trying to sneak the baby back into its cot asleep.

Tychos - I have been where you are, 9 years ago. It was awful, and I am so sorry you are having to face this.

I also still breasted to sleep at 12 months. My DS having never slept fantastically started waking hourly at around 10 months and sometimes just settling him would take an hour.

My honest advice with the benefit of hindsight would be just do what you need to do to survive. Try not to overthink it. Hide the clock. Don't count how many times he wakes or how log he sleeps for. Do the bare minimum in the day and when you can lie down and have him at near you while you lie down. Let the house be a mess.

My second piece of advice from my perspective of hindsight would be to push for info from the GP on melatonin and if you can get some get it. Years later my now nearly 10 year old DS is going through the process of being diagnosed for autism and is likely to be high functioning autistic. A common symptom of autism in children is sleep difficulties and a lack of naturally produced melatonin, and many children are prescribed it. Please don't let me concern you that autism is something you need to worry about at all. But I do now realise that perhaps it was a first sign for my son. He was my first child. I thought I was experiencing what all mothers go through and that I wasn't good at it and I analysed and wondered endlessly what I was doing wrong. I had no idea that some kids might not produce as much melatonin as others.

It did improve by 18 months and he woke 3 or 4 times a night. And then once or twice up until age 6 or 7 and he now sleeps well most nights but always wakes first in the family.

It's not what you are doing. It's how he is and you need to get through it together with him as best you can. A very heartfelt good luck.