12 month old wakes every hour. I know I won't die but it feels as if I will.

[TychosNose]

Just posting for a whinge really.

Ds has never slept well. Did a 4 hour stretch once or twice as a newborn but 1 or 2 hour stretches have always been the best we've got. Sometimes he won't settle for longer than 15 mins.

He is rarely deeply enough asleep to be transferred to his cot, and even if i manage it, he never sleeps longer that 30 mins in his cot. So we're bed-sharing. Not what I want but I don't have the energy to fight it.

He still bf every time he wakes. Always wakes screaming and gets hysterical if he's not fed. We tried to night wean but after three nights of screaming, I couldn't take it anymore and neither could my four y o dd.

I'm so tired and suffering from severe depression and struggling all the time.

I've just spent half term crying, with the two kids crying most of the time too. It's a living hell.

Anyone else had a baby like this? How did you survive?

Yes yes to ilikepie about breaking the latch. I read Elizabeth Pantley and that was the most useful tip from the whole book and I used it with all my subsequent babies too

Dd was waking every half hour to an hour thru the night. I fed her to sleep every time, we tried gradual retreat which failed miserably. I knew she knew how to self settle. She could do it for naps but just wouldn't bloody do it for nights.
She now sleeps through and if she wakes I can go in check she's ok, cuddle, lay down and she goes back to sleep. I didn't think it would work either, I couldn't see the end to the nightmare that was nights but it worked. Like I say there wasn't much crying from her, a minute or two and then she went to sleep and after a week she was pretty much sleeping through. She now sleeps thru every night except if she's not well or something like that.

OP - we bitch about those threads ALL the time on Misery Loves Company! We all keep well clear of the sleep board as all we'd do is go on those threads and rail like harridans.

Having had exactly the same issue with DS1, fresh air, more food, formula (at 12 months?), a bottle (again, at 12 months? Why?), teething and even melatonin were not the issue. The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley mentioned by PPs is written for exactly the sorts of babies/toddlers you/we have OP. It's a very common sleeping pattern that babies develop. I tried the NCSS but it was just such hard, prolonged work when I was already at a low point and, TBH, it's just very slow, gradual withdrawal, making tiny behavioural changes, when in fact the reasons for the frequent wakings are much more complex psychologically and emotionally for your DS. Doing something behavioural like CC would either make him worse or only work very briefly, as you would only be addressing the behaviour of frequent waking and not the deeper emotions behind it, which is where the sleep consultant I linked above was so bloody genius.

Unfortunately, she has a full list until May, but if you've survived this long, it's honestly worth waiting to get her involved.

My ds was exactly the same. At his worst he was waking up 8 to 10 times a night. We could get him to sleep easily just could not hel him sleep through.

Tried cc, feeding more, more naps, less naps, sleep consultant, everything! Eventually, when he was 14 months, I spoke to HV at weighing clinic. She spoke to GP and we were referred to ENT at hospital for assessment.

Turns out he had laryngomalacia, which basically means his windpipe was collapsing when he was sleeping and he was coughing to reinlflate it resulting in him waking up.

He slowly grew out of it and is much better now.

Maybe worth asking for a referral to hospital for tests. Even if it isn't that, it may be something else they can find.

OP just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this.
Sleep deprivation is a form of torture for a good reason.

I've scanned the thread but can't see amention of this by PP...

Have his toncils/adenoids been checked?

My DS was a terrible sleeper. He woke up every 30-45 mins, and woke up screaming. Every. Time. I keptbeing toldto try this or that or accept it... I was like a zombie. Even I started to think I'd somehow ruined him and made him incapable of sleeping.

At 3 he had his toncils and adenoids taken out, turned out they were extremely large. It caused him to have sleep apnea: basically, the reason why he woke up screaming was because he was choking.

Less than a week after the surgery, he slept through the night.

This is not at all uncommon and easily fixed... But whatever it is, I hope you find a solution soon. You'll feel brand new once you get some sleep.

Fastforward

A sleep consultant?

Is he in pain when he wakes? Or just wanting to suckle? Or play?

I do sympathise. Ds sleep was all over the place from the odd night of sttn to being up for 3 hours at a time. It is awful and depressing.

I think the routine is mostly fine but could be adjusted a little. So wake up and get ready at 7, breakfast. Mid morning milk. 11 am lunch. 11.30 - 1 sleep, mid 2pm milk, 4-5.30 nap. 6 pm dinner. 7 pm bedtime routine. 7.30 Bed.

Bedtime routine is bath if needed, pjs, Gro bag, milk, teeth, the same book in his room and then bed. If possible get dh to do teeth, book and bed for a week.

If he'll take a dummy it would help massively, I'd expect. I'd try a latex dummy even just initially, you could then move onto something better.

I would go cold turkey re nighttime milk. Of he was genuinely hungry he'd take the bottle which he accepts when he's hungry at night time.

For the night waking do give 5 minutes before you go to him and then assess. If he's going mad go in and settle in his cot. No lights. Soft voices. My favourite line was, it's okay, it's time to sleep now. If he's grizzly,leave him for 5 minutes longer.

He is waking to bf. If he stops getting it id expect he'd stop waking unless something else is going on.

Thank you all for your replies. I need to read through with pen and paper to process them all. I used to be an intelligent person but not anymore!
I appreciate you lol taking the time to tell me your stories and offer suggestions.

Hi! Are you able to tell me how you got through this?

Wow. The entire message as if you written my story (minus the depression). With my first I somehow managed to night wean over few attempts. Mostly by staying awake and point blank refusing to feed, EP method by removing him off the nipple before he nods off. HOWEVER, with my now second child, at 12months, none of this is as successful as it was with DS1. Mostly because I can't be bothered on checking/recording what is going on at night. I have learnt to feed him while co sleeping and most nights i will feed him while completely unconscious. Just not even recording it. I tried very hard to keep a track of things by wearing a fitbit and monitoring, but since I am so lazy and don't have to worry about being at work the following day, I been rolling like this for few months now. I think, I am approaching the stage tho, where I will have to do it. 3 nights roughly of screaming (both, me and baby), hair pulling, kicking etc is inevitable. After that it does get better. At least with my DS1 did. The clearest memory of his entire childhood! Not even kidding. It was as if I was born again. Good luck to anyone dealing with same issues.

This post is literally describing my situation!! When did it get better?? Please give a very tired exhausted mom some hope x