This is nap-dropping isn't it...?!

[blushingmare]

Sigh.... DD is 2y5m. Until really recently she's been having a good 2-2.5 hour nap after lunch, which has been wonderful! However, in the last couple of months she's started not going down so easily and making a fuss. So when she does fuss I offer her the option of listening to CBeebies radio in her cot. Sometimes she will fall asleep, other times she'll stay awake, but quietly listening to the radio for a good hour or so.

However, this week, the times she's fallen asleep and ended up having a nap, she's been a total nightmare to get to bed in the evening. Tonight I just got her up again as I was so tired myself I couldn't hack the tooing and froing. But then I wanted to go to bed myself, so ended up with her screaming in her cot for about half an hour

Is this the dreaded nap drop? And if so, what on earth am I going to do with her in that time? I really need that time for making dinner and doing house stuff! I thought I'd got it sorted with some quiet time listening to the radio, but if she's going to fall asleep and then be a nightmare at bedtime, that won't be such a good solution!

I know it was bound to happen sometime, but it feels too early!! It's not like we can be out and about to occupy that time as I have a 6mo DS, who I'd like to nap then.

I don't have any personal experience of nap dropping (to the point where they're awake all day, anyway). My eldest is still napping and I dread the day he stops as he's never been a good sleeper.

Have you tried limiting her nap? Eg no more than an hour. I find if I have to wake my son up from his nap, he's a bit cranky for half an hour, but the trade off is that he'll have an earlier night.

Mine is 22 months and already dropped to 2 naps a week. He sounds very similar. If he does have a nap, he goes to bed really late :(

I'm lucky in that he is happy enough to sit in his cot for an hour with books and toys. If he is tired he'll drop off, but even if he doesn't he seems to have his batteries recharged by having a bit of time out. Also, we've given up completely with routine.

Well today I just gave her a half hour nap. It was a complete nightmare. It meant she was up at the time when I need to feed and settle DS for his nap and she kept coming into his room and yelling so he couldn't get to sleep and subsequently was awake and inconsolable for most of the afternoon. And it made zero difference to bedtime - she screamed for an hour Thai evening before eventually falling asleep, even though she was tired and yawning at bedtime.

I just don't know what to do. Feel like a very crap parent today

She is pushing her boundaries.
She may be dropping her nap, my eldest DD stopped at 2.2!
My 23month old is being very similar. I think she is just seeing what happens if she kicks up a fuss. I'm just trying to be consistent and not give in to the screaming.

I think you're right Smartie. What I don't get is how can I know whether she's dropping her nap or whether she's just being a pickle, but could still manage a nap? If bedtime is still problematic even when she's not had a nap, I'm guessing it's not a nap issue and I could stick with the nap? I'm more reluctant to leave her screaming if she's genuinely not tired because I've allowed her to sleep too long. She's always been quite good at powering on without a nap, and yet when given the opportunity, can quite happily have a 2 hour nap on other days.

Well I found with my eldest that she just naturally gave up sleeping.
She would go to bed and then spend ages ( over an hour if not longer) just lying there talking and singing. The she started banging the head board and I gave up.
Nap was replaced by some TV, some quiet time. It wasn't as hard as I had thought.
If you give up on naps. Could you try some tv/ radio while you settle your son and then some big girl/mummy time?
Sadly housework just has to fit in for a while. Then she will be more independent again and it all changes again.
She will also be able to go to preschool soon if you want so that would give you more time.

Good advice - thanks

It doesn't have to be a case of completely giving up on naps. She may no longer need to nap every single day, but she will still likely need to nap a lot of the time, for a while yet. We found that ds started off having the occasional no nap day, then 1 no nap day per week, over time this slowly increased & the number of naps decreased. He was still having the occasional nap at almost 4 (& he really wasn't a high sleep needs child!).

My best advice is that on days where she can power on through - go with a super early bedtime eg 6pm instead of 7 (we found DS would sleep til his usual time the next morning whereas if we put him to bed at 7 he would kick off & be late settling as he was too overtired).

Another thing to consider is if her routine could be tweaked for the days when she does still nap. Once DS got to around 2/2.5, we realised that if he napped he was no longer tired enough to go to bed at his usual bedtime, and rather than fighting him over it every night, we adjusted our expectations, and accepted that while he was still napping, he needed a later bedtime. We pushed it to 8pm (he napped 1.30/2-3.30/4pm) & found that just going up half an hour later meant he would settle much quicker as he was actually tired enough. Now he no longer naps, he is back to his former 7pm bedtime. HTH