How do you learn to cope without much sleep?

[AntoinetteCosway]

Newborn DD pretty much always went straight to sleep after a feed so although she woke for milk frequently I could at least sleep while she did at night. It was tiring but manageable.

DS (4 weeks) wakes for milk but then is wide awake for 2 hours afterwards. He won't be put down and he often cries for a good period of that, I think because he wants stimulation-if I give in and take him to the sitting room he calms down but if I stay in the dark bedroom he doesn't. I can deal with waking up every few hours but I can't deal with staying awake every time. I am exhausted. Any tips?

Congratulations. Ds was like this - getting back to sleep was ( and at 2 can be a nightmare) a glowing seahorse helped (as he would stay in basket and watch it till he went back off) as did trying to really sort out his understanding of day and night!

and

DS1 was 9 months when he started doing this. Party time started somewhere between 1 and 2 am, and lasted 2 hrs. Your DS is MUCH younger, so the following might not be possible.

I discovered I needed a 4 hr stretch. So I was in bed, asleep, by 9 ish most nights.

I also made a bed on the floor of his room with all the spare duvets etc, and lay on his floor with my fingers through the bars so he would play with my fingers, and I would doze. Made the next day slightly less painful, tho it didn't do much for my back.

I also napped at the weekend (I was back at work )

But mainly by mainlining sugar in any form to survive the day. My waist line is still suffering, and he is 5. He's a much better sleeper now tho. Just an early riser, and has never slept as much as the recommended guidelines for his age.

I ebf twins.

I was seriously sleep deprived for about 18 months but at your stage I thought I was going to die from lack of sleep. Hang on in there it gets better.

I found that by about 6 weeks my body just sort of got used to it.

My children are 6 now and A&I still don't get much sleep, I can function pretty well on about 4 hours. People always make such a fuss about Maggie Thatcher are her 4 hours sleep - I now know it was twin training!

^^ and I still .... Not sure where the random A& came from!?

I had this problem with DS- I read that some babies are more prone to being awake for periods at night than others and that you're more likely to have a 'nocturnal' one if your baby was often kicking more at night when you were pregnant and if your baby was born at night - both of these were true with DS although not sure there is any proof behind them! Big eyes staring at you wide awake from 2 am to 4 am is not funny! Anyway, it's exhausting but they do learn the difference between night and day eventually! With DS it improved massively from about 8 weeks.

Hm, DS was born at night and also used to kick a lot at night...he also goes back to sleep much more quickly during the day.

How do you teach them the difference between day and night? My instinct says to keep him in the dark at night, keep voices low etc but it doesn't seem to be working at the moment. Maybe he's just too young?

It can take a while for them to become orientated to day and night, four weeks is young still for this.

I would keep night dark and quiet. No talking, night light only and days the bright. He will get it in the next couple of weeks.

Sounds like you're doing the right thing for night. I think for day lots of sunlight and noise - special care units for example gave music radio on in the background to make it lively.

2 yr old ds still occasionally wakes but now he's in a big bed I just get in too and have a cuddle and sometimes not sure who goes back to sleep first
I remember being back at work and trying to follow hv advice to just leave him to settle - he was about 15 months - basically it meant he wouldn't go back to sleep at all - I started 3 work days at 3 am - I've never been so tired in my life- and ds would get more upset if I sent dp in

My DS didn't get the difference between night and day for weeks. I think he was well over three months before he was really diurnal. He's three now and still doesn't sleep well (has never slept through the night; will occasionally do a four or five hour stretch if I'm lucky!) and I've just learned to cope. The first year was exceptionally shit and I was obsessed with when he was going to start sleeping! Now I've accepted that sleep just isn't his thing and we do okay. I work, cook, socialise, live a fairly normal life - but I think I've aged about ten years and I am always in a bit if a fug of exhaustion.

My DD did this between 3 and 6 weeks. It was awful, I hated it but I just used to put her in her moses basket and let her chatter away, kick her legs whatever. If she cried I'd let her do the same in my bed and then she'd feed again after a couple of hours and go back to sleep. If it makes you feel better, after 6 weeks she slept for 9 hours and after 10 weeks 11-12. She is 22 months now and remains a good sleeper most of the time so this could get better for you very soon. In the meantime just get him out lots during the day for sunlight.

Dd was like this, I used to sit waiting for the sun to come up and a new day to begin, it improved at 5 weeks ish, before that I was averaging 1-3 hrs sleep per day

I didn't sleep longer than 2 hours at a time for the first 4 months. Averaged 3-4 hours a night. Never slept in the day because he was (still is) a 30 minute catnapper.

I was demented with tiredness. The days all rolled into one. Sleep deprivation is utter torture.

He still doesn't sleep through the night and I'm broody for a 2nd - go figure!!